Arkansas didn’t need this. It could’a happened someplace else. To one of them northern states like, real uppity-like, such as New York and that place with the Cheese steaks. Arkansas shouldn’t have to suffer this indignity. But it’s fact, toddlers are no longer legally allowed to get hitched in the Great State of Arkansas.
But why? Why can’t these lovin’ toddlers be married?
Turns out they were never meant to. A recently passed bill attempting to set a minimum marriage age of 18 actually, due to a typo, removed any age limit at all. All any two kids, even infants, require to get married is their parents approval. And with that thought, let us imagine a few things one might overhear at a toddler wedding:
“I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may smear snot all over the bride.”
“What’s holding up the ceremony?”
“The groom ran from the alter.”
“Cold feet?”
“No, he saw a squirrel.”
“Is the bridesmaid available? What am I saying; she’s like 4-years-old, an old maid.”
“Okay Maddy, time to cut the cake. Cut the cake Maddy. Get off the Cake, Maddy. GET OFF THE CAKE!”
Well, I could go on about honeymoons at Chuck E. Cheese and what-not, but suffice to say Arkansas is working to reverse this error, and thus take just a little more fun out of our lives.
