We may be careening toward a recession but apparently the Tooth Fairy is still flush with cash. According to this story, plenty of parents are unsure exactly how much to give their children when they lose a tooth, partly because the market rate on recently departed choppers varies greatly.
Some kids expect a couple of quarters. Others think $2 is about right. And then there are the people who live in L.A., where apparently it's not uncommon to earn $20 a tooth. 20 bucks?! When I was growing up, my parents wouldn't have paid that if I had gingerly placed my left kidney under my pillow.
A father interviewed in the aforementioned story, which appeared on CNN.com, stressed the importance of what the reporter calls "pre-emptive negotiation." In other words, parents should agree beforehand on how much they'll ante up. But that term almost implies that you have to make sure the kid is cool with it, too. To which I say: Really? Is that what we've come to? We have to call a meeting with our 6-year-old to hammer out the deals of his teeth reimbursement plan?
Timmy: I appreciate your desire to discuss this issue with me. This is the offer I am willing to accept.
Timmy slides a piece of paper across the table.
Dad, looking at paper: 50 bucks! That seems a little steep, Timmy.
Mom: Maybe we should just give it to him, Ray. It's a competitive market. He could take his business elsewhere.
Dad: No, no, no. How about 20 bucks?
Timmy: 20? Please. That's not even industry standard.
Dad: Okay, $30.
Timmy: I'll settle for $35 per tooth. But I expect full benefits, tuition reimbursement and additional vacation time.
Mom: Vacation time? Your whole life is vacation time. And might I remind you that you're not working for this money? Your teeth are going to fall out whether we pay you for them or not.
Timmy: Fair enough. But we all know the Tooth Fairy is the one running this show. And after she lowballed me on the first two teeth I lost, I need to make sure I cover all my bases. So do we have a deal?
Dad: Yeah, fine. Deal. Whatever.
Timmy: Great doing business with you. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find a pair of pliers. I have some extracting to do.
And ... scene. Now, a few questions for you readers to address in our comments section: Does the Tooth Fairy compensate your kids? How much does she pay per tooth? And do your children ever complain that their friends are getting a better rate?
Photo by Gerald Kimber White for LifeWire
