The first time I babysat by myself, I was in sixth grade and
I cared for two preschoolers. At the end of three hours in which I’d run
circles around the house (literally) to keep the children happy, their father
handed me $1.50. I still remember staring dejectedly at the quarters in my palm
and vowing never to babysit for that family again. That was more than a decade
ago and I’ve never been so underpaid since then, but negotiating babysitting
costs continues to be a sticky situation.
I’m sure the parents I’ve worked with over the years dread the
awkward money conversation as much as I do. I meet the kids and connect well
with them, I provide good references, I get along with the parents. Then
comes the unpleasant, “So, how much do you charge?" As someone who’s had this conversation more times than I
count, here are some guidelines, from a caretaker perspective, for developing a
comfortable relationship with your babysitter or nanny.
Above all, the money transactions
should be seamless, so that you and your sitter can discuss more important
things—like your children. Develop a clear payment plan right away and stick to it. As a nanny,
I was sometimes paid in cash at the end of every day, sometimes paid in check
every two weeks. Either way was fine with me, as long as I knew what to expect
and never had to remind the parents to pay me.
If you ask a sitter how much she charges, be prepared to cheerfully pay that rate (unless it's exorbitant) or find another sitter. Negotiating down or grumbling about the expense will only create ill will between you and the sitter. If you know that you cannot afford to pay more than a certain
amount, let the sitter know right away. Instead of asking how much she
charges, say, “We pay $13 an hour. Is that all right with you?” The sitter
should feel comfortable saying no if the rate is too low. Personally, I will
gladly sit for a family that pays a little less if I connect well with the
children and the parents are friendly and appreciative. No sitter worth their
salt with treat children better or worse based on how their parents pay them—but
there are lots of babysitters who are not worth their salt, so never try to get
away with paying less than you can afford.
And you will definitely get the royal treatment from a
babysitter who feels she is amply compensated for her time. I currently sit for
a family that always rounds up, always casually hands me a wad of cash without
any nitpicking about the exact amount of time I was there (a sure-fire way to
create awkwardness), and often leaves out dinner
money for me along with a takeout menu (I never use it, but I certainly appreciate
the gesture). For this family, I am more than willing to change my schedule to
accommodate theirs and to do extra housecleaning without being asked. And I
never feel even a shade of resentment if, for instance, the baby is sick and
crying the whole time I’m there—if anything, I feel glad to give the parents a
well-deserved break.
So, let’s talk actual numbers. This useful post on
babyslumber.com
recommends paying between $15 and $20 an hour. Although I’d be thrilled to be
offered more, the amount I feel comfortable charging to develop a good rapport
with a family is $15. I don’t want to charge so much that going out for a fun
evening will be a hardship on the family, but I also need to charge enough that
I feel my time is being valued. So I never babysit for less than $12 an hour; in
fact, I would be wary of hiring a sitter who accepts less than that.
Babysitting is, and should be, difficult work. I take pride in being extremely
attentive, playful, and loving—which is how you want all of your babysitters to
feel. In most cases, if your sitter is accepting less than $12 an hour, either
she’s not working hard enough or she’s getting underpaid.
What do you parents think of these rates? How do you handle
it if you feel a sitter is charging too much? And what do you do about
childcare if you genuinely cannot afford to pay more than, say, $10 an hour?
Photo: babyminestore.com
