There's a couple stories (via Jezebel) on one of the big taboos: What happens when you have a baby and suspect you made a terrible, horrible mistake? Is it possible that some women just aren't made for motherhood? Lucy Beresford interviewed many women who had at a minimum, serious ambivalence about being a mother, and says that our inability to talk about this causes serious damage to both mothers and children. For this silent minority, bonding and attachment just don't happen, and the results are tragic for everyone involved.
Why do some women find maternal instincts less than instinctual? Beresford traces the bonding problems to unresolved conflicts. Vicki Glemblocki, whose book "The Second Nine Months: One Women Tells the Real Truth About Becoming a Mom. Finally." is excerpted in Salon, simply shares the utter despair that accompanies motherhood for some of us. I'd guess some people probably aren't cut out to be moms, just because it isn't for everyone, despite what you might hear about how utterly fulfilling it is. As for me, I discovered after my daughter was born that it took a loooong time to bond, maybe a year, and I could go into long explanations but it really had to do with both her temperament and my personality. One year in and I felt much better, and I've since met other women who felt the same way. And let me tell you, talking about it with people who understood fixed something deep. It's time to take this one off the taboo list, for everyone's sake.
