This is a strange turn of events. After all, I imagine many talking Elmo dolls have had to listen to muttered death threats from parents weary of that cloying little giggle, that high-pitched voice with the mechanized edge. In fact, I sort of imagine the Elmo dolls sneak out at night and meet at a bar somewhere to drown their sorrows and share stories of the creepy things parents say to them when the kid leaves them wedged between the couch cushions and the parent accidentally sits on Elmo, causing Elmo to say "Elmo loves you" and the parent to say...well, stuff we can't reprint here. But clearly one Elmo has had enough, and fully lost it.

A mom is reporting that her son's Elmo Knows Your Name doll says in a sing-song voice, "Kill James." Raise your hand if that'll give you nightmares? The young owner of the doll is indeed named James, and his mother reports that when she changed the batteries in the Elmo, he began making the death threat. Mom has hidden the doll, and Fisher-Price is offering a voucher for a replacement Elmo and says it will investigate whether other dolls have been making similar threats. Because if there is an army of murderous Elmos on the loose, I really, really need to know that. Elmo knows your name, he knows where you live, he's always, always watching you...