Would you tattle on a neighbor's nanny? In today's increasingly isolationist society, we're less and less It Takes a Village and more and more Turn a Blind Eye. Or are we? WSJ's The Juggle examines this very question this week, and most commenting parents agreed that they tend to watch out for their neighbor's kids as well as their own. But when does "keeping an eye out" become "butting in"? In other words, where's the fine line between being the village and being an asshat who doles out unwanted, unwarranted advice?
It's a delicate matter to report something you think is untoward that's happening to a neighbor's kid or to a classmate of your own kid. Many families are private by nature and don't welcome unsolicited advice. Other families are aware on some level of the problem but choose in their own way to ignore it, as often that's easier than admitting there's a problem in the first place.
But where do you draw the line? What if you suspect abuse, for example? Maybe not bruises-and-black-eyes abuse, but something more difficult to detect. Do you say something? And to whom? Does it depend on the situation?
It would be wonderful if we all lived in tight communities where everyone looked out for everyone else, where you knew your kids were protected because they were surrounded by people you knew and trusted. But we don't all have that, not today. I hate the idea of anonymous tattle sites where you could report something you suspected, but without those tight communities, what alternatives are there?
What about you? Do you feel you have some sort of community you can turn to, rely upon, and contribute to? And if not, how would you handle The Juggle's bad-nanny situation?
Photo: www.sciencemuseum.org.uk
