It was my freshman year in college when I finally tried my first cigarette and got to feel that euphoric rush of nicotine to my brain that made me lightheaded and the choking cloud of smoke that filled my lungs and caused me to hack and gasp for air for around 10 minutes. In high school I had my opportunities to light up (see: actually talking to high school crush Kristi Ralyea in the mall parking lot after her shift at Wilson’s Suede and Leather) but being a cross country and track team nerd I figured interval training with a Marlboro dangling from the corner of my mouth just wasn’t a good look.
For me being anchor leg our school’s 4x800 meter relay team was enough to discourage me from smoking, but some kids need more incentive than that and leave it up to our neighbors to the north to come up with an incentive that any teenager can relate to: Cold. Hard. Cash.
In conjunction with their National Non-Smoking Week, Canada has launched a new program called R.E.W.A.R.D.S. which stands for “Rewarding Everyone Who Acts Responsibly and Doesn't Smoke”. (There really needs to be North American legislation limiting the maximum number of letters in an acronym) The incentive is five thousand dollars at the end of 12th Grade and to keep them honest, a contract must be signed and four sponsors found to put up the money.
No word on whether the smoke-free teens have the option of getting their money in a lump sum or having it paid out incrementally over time, but why hasn’t someone thought of this before? Paying kids thousands of dollars to do what they’re supposed to be doing anyway sends just the message they’ll need to be successful in life. I hope this is just the first of many behavior based morals for money programs that pay children to act responsibly and do the right thing. I'm proposing the following acronyms:
R.E.W.A.R.D.D. -- Rewarding Everyone Who Acts Responsibly and Doesn't Drink
R.E.W.A.R.D.D.D. -- Rewarding Everyone Who Acts Responsibly and Doesn't Do Drugs.
R.E.W.A.R.C.T.R. -- Rewarding Everyone Who Acts Responsibly and Cleans Their Room
R.E.W.A.R.F.T.H -- Rewarding Everyone Who Acts Responsibly and Finishes Their Homework
R.E.W.A.R.D.T.B.T.P.B.N.T.T.D.T.A.G. -- Rewarding Everyone Who Acts Responsibly and Doesn’t Talk Back to Their Parents Because the Next Time They Do They Are Grounded.
I’m so inspired right now I think I’m going to start my own anti-smoking campaign right here in the United States called N.O.C.A.N.C.E.R. which stands for “Nicotine addiction, Orange fingertips, Carbon monoxide, Atherosclerosis and asthma, Neuralgia, Coronary heart disease, Emphysema, Risk of lung cancer”. I just haven’t figured out yet what the reward is going to be.
