We've all been guilty of this – or okay, maybe it's just me – saying something negative in your child's hearing. "She is such a three-year-old, I am losing my mind today." "It's okay. I didn't like school either." "Clowns are terrifying."
Turns out? Not such a good idea. When your kid hears you assigning certain traits to them or reinforcing a fear or negative feeling they have, it sticks in their head as truth. Sucks to be so influential, doesn't it?
Now I don’t agree with this columnist's assertion, that if you ask other parents for help with a problem you're having with your child in their hearing, that you give them the idea you don’t know what you're doing. Of course, I am only the parent of a three-year-old, who still thinks I can conjure up Pirate's Booty and new episodes of Dora out of thin air because I am just that cool.
I am realizing that I need to work harder on dialing down even more neutral labels, like calling her my Wild Child in front of people. Something I read about siblinghood, and if I didn’t have nine months pregnant mush brain right now I'd link it for you, said that labeling one kid with either positive or negative traits means the other child(ren) in the family feel they can't express that trait too. With #2 on the way, it's something I worry about a lot. Short of coming up with code words with your partner (done it) what do you do?
