I don't know if you are aware of this, but around this time of year there's typically a rash of stolen baby Jesus stories. Pranksters (I love that word) make off with baby Jesus out of nativity scenes all over the country, and often there's a sort of cat-and-mouse game where nativity scene keepers try and devise methods of preventing the infant savior from disappearing. Well, after a Florida town's Jesus went missing from the founder's circle nativity scene despite being bolted down (Mission Impossible 12 anyone?) a Jewish attorney in Cincinnati donated a new figure, and this time the scene keeper has taken unusual precautions to protect him from disappearing again. In addition to erecting a plexiglass  screen in front of the display, people in the town raised money to do something else. Can you guess what? I'll give you a hint: Once the season is over, someone could probably get extra use out of the figure by afixing him to the dashboard of a car, perhaps next to a plastic adult version of his holy self.

Yep, the townsfolk raised money to outfit Mary, Joseph, and the infant lord with GPS devices. Scene keeper Dina Cellini says, "I don't anticipate this will ever happen again, but we may need to rely on technology to save our savior." Of course, it might have been prudent to equip the original baby Jesus with such devices, cuz it would have saved those wise men a ton of time in tracking, and we'd have Epiphany pageants happening closer to Christmas. Though if you think about it, the star over the stable was sort of an early GPS thing itself.