Leave it up to a country that has legalized the production, sale and use of marijuana to come out with a study showing that teens who toke up are just as likely to not only perform well in school, but to also develop an addiction to Cool Ranch Doritos and reruns of Matlock. 

Alright so perhaps the potato chip/Andy Griffith habit was an assumed result, but the 2002 study published in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, which surveyed more than 5,200 students ages 16 to 20, did claim that students who smoke marijuana do as well if not better in some areas as those who don't.

Who knew that all those goth kids and metal heads hanging out by the tennis courts during Study Hall were just preparing for the SAT’s?

The controversial study has caught the attention of a National Pro-Pot Group called the Marijuana Policy Project and is being used to buttress a Massachusetts campaign to legalize marijuana. Rep. Peter Koutoujian (D-Waltham), chairman of the Joint Committee on Public Health, has taken a strong stand against the validity of the study. “It's really outrageous. I'm appalled. This is a perfect example of academics gone wild.” At which point, to further reinforce his point Rep Koutoujian showed a video of drunken academics at spring break on Daytona Beach participating in wet t-shirt contests and lifting their shirts for the camera.

Bruce Mirken, a spokesman for the Marijuana Policy Project, hopes only to use the study as a catalyst for an open and honest discussion about the real effects of marijuana and the government agenda to frighten parents with twisted data and anti-marijuana propaganda. Are they still showing Reefer Madness in schools?

Public servant and government employee Rep. Koutoujian rebutted by criticizing Mirken’s group, “What this study does is send a very bad message. This only damages their cause because it's salacious and baseless.” At which point, he for some reason again showed the video of drunken academics at spring break on Daytona Beach participating in wet t-shirt contests and lifting their shirts for the camera.

Attention all Rep Koutoujians of the world, take a deep breath and relax.  I appreciate your concern but how many parents are going to condone the use of pot by their children because some study conducted by a country that has decriminalized marijuana says it will result in better grades, healthier relationships with their friends and fewer reports of depression? “Well Honey if the Swiss say it’s true it must be. Looks like it’s Dime Bags under the tree and Trey Anastasio tickets in the stockings this year.”

Despite our best efforts as parents our kids don’t always make the right choices when it comes to drug use. Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks, tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox might someday experiment with pot and it won’t be because they think it will make them smart. Popular, cool, philosophical...maybe, but not smart.

Koutoujian did pose an interesting question though when he asked "In another 10 to 20 years, where will these young people be?"

Oh I don’t know…the White House?