When I was 10 years old I wasted spent countless hours playing Six Million Dollar Man, pretending to have been rebuilt with cybernetic parts that enhanced my strength, speed and vision. I demonstrated my superhuman abilities by running and jumping around the backyard in a red polyester sweat suit in slow motion and making that metallic bionic sound effect with my mouth.
Remnants of my dorky adolescent imagination were probably why the name of this toy alone conjured a wistful flashback that invoked a sudden urge to put on that old red polyester sweat suit and run around the backyard in slow motion. Granted it may not have infared capabilities, but with a magnification power of 200:1 the EyeClops Bionic Eye is still, and pardon my innate maleness as it emerges from the man cave of my Id to howl over unnecessary technology, totally awesome.
The Eyeclops Bionic Eye is a handheld device in the shape of an oversized eyeball with essentially the magnification strength of the Hubble Telescope that displays images on any television screen without installing any software; just plug and play. A shag carpet looks like a dense forest of scotch-guarded pines, the cat’s fur looks like really big cat fur, the facial pores of your napping father look like the meteor battered surface of the moon. Small price to pay I say for hours of curiosity, discovery and overheard snippets of precious dialogue like, “You hold the dog and I’ll lift his tail.” and “Chew on this piece of bologna then open your mouth.” Ahhh… the inquisitive nature of children.
Though I’m a firm believer that some things are better left unsaid and some things are better left unseen (i.e. 60 Minute blue light stain spotting investigations of hotel rooms), what more could kids 6-11 years old want this holiday season than a enormous human eyeball that can display images of the litter box on a molecular level?
Plus Dads, if you needed any further incentive to run in slow motion to your nearest Toys R Us, the Bionic Eye comes with a base for hands free use. So, if the kids are asleep and the Eyeclops Bionic Eye just happens to be in the master bedroom on the hands-free base and you wanted to demonstrate your superhuman abilities on a subatomic level…I mean, you know I’m just saying.
Just don’t let 60 minutes in with their blue light.
(Photo Credit: Toys R Us)
