When adding a new technique to your parenting toolkit, it can be helpful to observe a masterful parent in action for tips on how to use the technique to full advantage. Today we are going to take a lesson from celebrity-mom Lynne Spears, parent to troubled Britney. Lynne shows us how to use self-blame, a time-honored tactic employed by moms for generations. Let's dissect Lynne's excellent use of this technique.
Lynne recently accepted responsibility for her wayward daughter's woes, saying, "“I blame myself...What mother wouldn’t?...I wish I’d been there more while she was touring. But I couldn’t be. I had the other kids to look after."
Bravo Lynne. Now note the key points: Lynne blames herself for her child's problems, thus deflecting critics who might make the same claim. However, please observe how she follows the statement with the assertion that of course the absence of her helpful guidance was the problem (not her stage-mommying) and that she couldn't be available because she was caring for other children. This is crucial: when taking the blame for your kid's faults, you must immediately make it clear that you would have done a better job but you actually couldn't because of circumstances and the fact that you were occupied with some reasonable pursuit. Never, ever accept responsibility unless you can soften it with an excuse as to why you aren't really responsible.
This tactic allows Lynne to keep pimping promoting her upcoming book, "Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World," where she details how she dealt with the fame of her brood. She says it won't be a tell-all. Noooo, that might be, you know, exploitative.
Thanks, Lynne, for showing us how it's done.
