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Floating Babies: Fear-Based Parenting Meets Stupid Pet Tricks

Posted by Madeline Holler

I, too, raised a skeptical single eyebrow at all this talk of infant swimmers. Babies who swim before they can walk? That just smacks of competi-mommies and monkey trainers.

Then I watched this video and thought, “where do I sign?” (Note: Turn off the sound so that (1) you don’t have to hear the plinking sounds of water music and (2) you don’t get weepy when the baby, floating face-up in a swimming pool for five minutes (in his jammies!), starts screaming something about water.)

The lessons are expensive as hell and there’s still the risk of diarrhea and all that but still. A baby who can float on her back? If my kids could do that, they'd so be better than your kids! They could even join the circus! Or better yet, I could manage a little calm around all these damn open swimming pools here in Southern California.


Comments

 

Miverson said:

That video was just plain creepy to me! I was so distracted by the fact that they were letting that poor baby float on his back in jammies and call for help for 5 whole minutes! I just wanted to jump in and help the poor little guy.

October 30, 2007 3:39 PM
 

chyna823 said:

The kid was probably thinking, "Hey jackass, put down the camera and get me out of the water!"

October 30, 2007 3:51 PM
 

Lisa said:

Somebody sent this around earlier and I thought it was cuhreepy too.  I mean, wtf?!  This is almost like the cop who spoke to my Moms group about how he could leave his young son alone with a loaded gun on his sofa.  What's next?  Shutzund training for toddlers??  Fire walking?  Driving??

October 30, 2007 5:24 PM
 

Christine said:

I think I would trust them more if they knew how to spell. They, apparently, teach children how to "breath."

October 30, 2007 7:23 PM
 

Autumn said:

I can see it now, 20 years of therapy to get over the intense trauma induced by the "simulated drowning".  Sounds like chidl abuse to me.  Oh the Me Generation.

October 30, 2007 7:46 PM
 

Karen Murphy said:

Hmm, interesting.  I totally ragged on this concept earlier, but for some reason, thinking of babies being able to save themselves brought a wee tear to my eye.  None of my kids can swim; they're all afraid of the water and apparently I'm not the one to teach them, being not much of a swimmer myself. Makes me think.

Though they totally kept that kid in there way too long to prove a point.

October 30, 2007 9:27 PM
 

sara said:

Living in So Cal as well, I have found swimming skills are necessary in these parts.  There are a ton of open pools as so many don't follow the rule of keeping pools gated.  I probably would not subject my 7month old to this but I put my 2year old in a similar program.  She can now float and knows what to do if she falls in a pool.  I can assure you she is  not "traumatized" by the experience.  

October 30, 2007 10:47 PM
 

Neel said:

We don't have to worry about teaching our babies here in Wichita how to swim.  By the time they're as old as that child, ours are too busy cramming for that next final exam.

October 31, 2007 5:12 AM
 

claudia said:

Swimming lessons are great (though if the child is that young and hates them, in the end it will probably be counter productive.  I've taught mommy and me classes for kid that age, and it's not about learning actual skills but just getting comfortable being in the water. 2 years old is a pretty good age to start introducing basic skills).  I just hope parents use these in addition to and not INSTEAD of precautions like gating pools and things.   You can not drownproof a child, esp. not a baby or toddler.   It's one thing to be able to float with the instructor nearby, it's another thing entirely for a small child to be able to not panic and float when they accidently falls in, and from my experience, they don't really start absorbing the safety lessons themselves until they're around elementary school age.  If you can afford to put in a pool, you can spring for a good locking gate and alarm, and always watch your children.  If your neighbors have an ungated pool your kid can get into, offer to help them pay for one for your child's safety, or get a fence yourself.  I've seen things go from good to bad really quickly (i have some fearless jumpers and runners in my classes!) so always keep an eye on young children near water.  the american red cross has all sorts of good safety tips, so if you're worried about it, or interested in teaching your kid to swim check out their website.  your local chapter may also have where you can sign up for classes in the area.

sara, floating at two!!! your kids a waterbug, i've seen very few kids able to do that (mostly not because they can't, but because they're scared, or would have to say still for 5 seconds which is not most 2 year old's forte). you may have a future swimmer on your hands!

October 31, 2007 5:15 AM

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