Someone I know recently told me she's decided to try and have a baby. She's single and nearing the end of her fertility window, and she has always wanted children. She came to the realization that at this point, it's unlikely she's going to meet the right guy, fall in love, get married, and get knocked up in enough time to still be physically able to have kids, and that's important to her. My reaction was total delight because I think she's gonna be a great mom. So when I saw that Louise Sloan wrote a funny guide to becoming a single mom, I thought, "Great! It's about time someone did." But apparently many other folks don't feel the same way.
When Sloan was interviewed by Salon a couple weeks ago, many commenters criticized her decision to procreate solo. I'd be leery of saying comments on any site represent prevailing opinions, but I suppose there are people out there who think this is a bad thing, and maybe some of you are in that number. I have to tell you I don't really understand most of the criticisms. Some folks say Sloan is having a kid for selfish reasons, because she "wants" one. Um, you mean, unlike us two-parent households? Right, we had kids to keep the gene pool fresh or something. Others responded that kids need two parents. You know, I actually think kids probably need a whole network of people, and families need social support. My child is being raised by three adults (my sister lives with us) and it's a sweet set up. But that doesn't mean I believe y'all should have to move in with your siblings. It is possible to create social networks (thank god) and I know some isolated two-parent families that get less in the way of help than some of the single parents I know.
Sloan was also criticized because her child will someday wonder about his biological father. Yeah, I know plenty of people who are well-acquainted with their biological parents and kind of wish they weren't. Maybe if we don't treat single moms as pariahs, these kids won't have to feel like their situation is somehow abnormal or lacking. Oh, and I don't think kids need a dad (many lesbian moms doing just fine, thanks) or a mom (same goes for male gay couples raising kids); I think they need good grown-ups who love them and care for them. That's more than many people get, and with that love and protection and care, the kids will be just fine.
What do you think?
