Growing up, my sister was a relatively picky eater, which annoyed me since I tended to eat everything. And lots of it. I loved (and still love) variety in taste, texture, smell, quality, preparation, and ingredients. But as a big pouter who could stubbornly resist a single bite of anything on her plate, my sister and her tastes often dictated the dinner menus. I understand that now that I’m a parent, but, man, I vowed back then to surround myself with only the most adventuresome of palates.
Naturally, I married a man whose food preferences make the childhood version of my sister appear, food adventures-wise, totally cutting edge.
My husband, however, I can work around. But once in awhile I spot his finicky eating in our daughters and my heart sinks to my bored stomach. Apparently, no amount of undermining his opinions – “mmmmm, olives, girls! Daddy's scared of olives!” – can bring forth good taste. Like everything else, food preferences – and aversions to new foods -- are a matter of your DNA. (Which, frankly, explains dinners with the in-laws.)
But, how to manage? I refuse to do the short-order thing, making separate meals for everyone in the family. My husband, by the way, hates his pickiness too. As long as I'm not the only one suffering (petty, I know), I'll accommodate him by putting certain ingredients on the side.
Still, for a lot of dishes (easy, easy dishes!), I feel screwed. Will we really never sit down as a family to a nice porcini risotto (mushroom aversion from the six-year-old, cheese and creamy texture issues from the husband)? Have I honestly never served a piping hot casserole to the four of us (3-against-me distaste for canned tuna and Velveeta).
My husband is, for a specific list of foods and preparations, mostly a lost cause (though I’ve snuck in various forbiddens in different meals but he reads this so I won’t be disclosing what or how). But the kids? I can still work with the kids even if a suspicion of eggs is written into their very genes (thanks to vanilla and a bit of sugar, we're working through that).
And then there's this expert in the NYTimes article, whose opinion I am totally banking on: “We have to understand that biology is not destiny,” said Patricia Pliner, a social psychology professor at the University of Toronto. “This doesn’t necessarily mean there is nothing we can do about the environment.”
Say it loud, Prof. Pliner! Others agree that food jags are normal (hopefully not life-long).
How about you? What do you do for your picky eaters? Do you blame yourself? Don't tell me you're making separate meals! Here’s what some of the NYT readers say.
