Strollerderby

I abso-freakin-lutely LOVE that when I clicked over to look at the interview that the ad at the top of the page says "Does your teen stay in the shower way too long? Get them out automatically with the Shower Manager! Click now to stop the long showers!" (sorry, I typed it out in case it's not there when the next person looks, and I end up looking like a tool ... more of a tool).

Overcontrolling ad on an AP site?

I did get cracked up a few weeks ago when I had the baby in the sling and someone stopped and said she was so happy to see someone wearing their baby. She was sweet and all, but I really wanted to tell her it was for my convenience b/c I didn't want to jack with the stroller in the shops I was looking at. :)

I heard one woman refer to her son as "not stroller-trained" so she had to drag him all over NYC in her arms. As if carrying a baby in a stroller was some horrible thing.

It's not so much the judgy I mind, as the enormous sanctimony.  As if sacrificing yourself on the altar of motherhood and subsuming such silly needs as sleep, identity, and personal space to another makes you a MUCH better person than the next mother who might go out  without her baby sometimes, might even (GASP) work for a living, and (horrors!!) enjoy it. Sears just makes me feel suffocated and itchy and irritated--he's the 100 percent wool of parenting "experts."

And ironically--we follow AP principles as much as we do any by-the-book philosophy. I just have a hige problem with anyone who's drunlk the Koolaid on any aspect of parenting.

right on, kelly... no matter "what" the nice people believe, we could all benefit from leaving the judgment and sanctimony at home.

Earlier I posted about my irritation at the attachment parenting folks who like to equate sleeping in separate beds with leaving your infant alone for the dingos to eat. But there's people with agendas in all the camps: the sleep camps, be it Weissbluth

Self-righteousness isn't a side effect of attachment parenting, it's a side effect of parenting according to ANY particular philosophy. Yeah, it sucks when somebody makes it clear they think you're doing it wrong, but you can find annoying interviews/books/posts by proponents of all the methods out there. I think calling out one side or another as especially bad or judgmental just adds to the hate. (not that I think you're doing it wrong! Just sayin!)

ooop, the was a gap between when i started writing what i just posted and when it posted--so i didn't notice that lots of folks had already said it, but better! Now I'm the one feeling like a tool...

Wow.  I guess I am not seeing how that statement is offensive, really.

Well, my kids didn't sleep with me very often but I did rock them to sleep until they were about two.  I loved it.  I did it for me.  My mother-in-law was totally upset that I rocked my kids.  She said I was spoiling them.  They are grown now and the most UN-spoiled kids I know.  Both are very down to earth real people and the oldest is a great parent.

What bothers me by some AP'ers is the notion that if you do XYZ you are a detatched parent.  We did things that our son clearly indicated a need for--such as *not* co-sleeping and using a crib after co-sleeping for 6 mos.  We were following his cues (he couldn't sleep in the same room).  He hated the sling after awhile, loved his stroller, etc.

What I always find amusing, personally, is that everyone likes to say that people who [whatever, in this case follow attachment parenting tenets] are so darn judgmental, totally not seeing the irony in themselves being just as judgmental about things by offering up the critique.

At the end of the day, parenting is a darn hard job and whatever approach you take, as long as you're trying your best, you're probably going to do just fine. Are there better approaches?  Yes, for specific children, but we've never said anything about non-AP "ruining" children or anything of the sort. In fact, if you were to pop over to our attachment parenting blog you'd find that we have lots of doubts and spend a lot of time asking "ohmygod what's going on?" with even the most basic things.

Of course, with a 10yo, 7yo and 3yo, it's a full house anyway.

But seriously, we're all in this together. :-)

wow.  I never even heard of "not stroller trained." For real?  damn!  This is me, trying not to judge.  *bites tongue*

Whatever. If you never tote your kid around in a stroller, they're going to think it's weird and not want to sit in it. I never want to bother with the hassle of the thing and so I wear my baby everywhere. He doesn't dig the stroller as a result. I don't see how my laziness with a stroller is a judgement on anybody.

People who follow AP occasionally feel smug and superior about "sacrificing" themselves for their children. People who reject AP occasionally feel smug and superior about "not sacrificing" who they were before their children. Everybody gets to party down with their defensive self.  

personally, i have experienced the most self-righteousness from APers.  i have described in other posts how i was flamed and kicked off the mothering magazine's motheringdotcommune site for simply mentioning that i wanted sleeping tips for non co-sleepers.  what?-  i am not "holistic" enough for mothering magazine?-  but i feed my kid organic foods along with my own breastmilk, and i even use cloth diapers and cloth wipes!  anyway, sears and the camp piss me off with the term "natural parenting".  the only natural parenting is being in-tune with your childs needs.  AP doesn't allow for differences in personalities.  my kid didn't want to co-sleep, hated slings and pouches of any kind, and loves his stroller.  the APers i knew insisted i was just "doing it wrong" when it came to slings, but i swear i wasn't and my kid doesn't like being confined.  if i had forced him to be confined in a sling, wouldn't that also be forcing a child to do something he/she doesn't want to do?  furthermore, as a feminist, i am also suspicious of any philosphy/parenting style that seems to attempt to keep the woman in in her place, as it were. to my way of seeing it, APing keeps a woman down, and i am tempted to view APing as a form of backlash against women.  

Whoops!  I thought my job as a parent was to raise self sufficient human beings who could contribute to society.  Teaching independance is a survival technique taught all over the world.  When I die I want my kids to be able to make on their own.  Not turn to the first overbearing bully they meet and let them control their lives.  I truely beleive the whole AP movement is more to pacify the parents, make them feel important, rather than for the child.  

The year? 2007. The scene? Cyberwood. A naive, wiry parental blog with a dream -- you could call it Blog Ambition -- started out working small, beer-soaked gigs at county fairs and roadhouses across the country, only to one day sell out mammoth stadiums