Peter Hartlaub came up with a great list of what not to get the dad you love for Fathers Day. While I'm not entirely convinced we moms have the sweet deal (how many macaroni necklaces does one woman need?) it's important you don't screw up royally and get the old man something you'll see payback for later. A few people have unintentionally come up with these lists as well, but this is the first and funniest to hit all the key "oh, dad doesn't really care what we get him" presents. I'd also like to add you should avoid anything that is or goes on a keychain unless it's the keys to a new car or something that plays porn. (Nope, I don't really know what that last one means either, but if somebody invents it, I'm totally buying one.)
But wait, here's one more really awful gift! Sends a stronger message of resentment and dissatisfaction than even fitness equipment: the Gold Man toilet attachment urinal-thingie. For the guy whose spray is so random, he couldn't hit the toilet if it was swallowing him alive; and now, thanks to the Gold Man, it practically is! Note how the modern lines of the Gold Man make it seem like it's almost moving, a gaping mouth perfect for those with castration fears (a reasonable fear, if you ask me.) Oh, and you can barf in it too. Lovely. This darling contraption can be removed and placed next to the toilet, where I'm sure it will be completely un-funky and never mistaken for a pee-showered trash can. Hey, is "Gold Man" a pee reference? Eeeeeew.
Photo credit: Chronicle photo by James Merithew
