Babble

a magazine and community for the new urban parent

Strollerderby

Fancy Restaurant to Mom: This is No Place for Kids

A family in Bend, Oregon was refused service at a local restaurant because they brought a baby along. The servers at upscale restaurant Baltazar told Yvette Nishikawa they didn't have a high chair for her baby because they didn't  'specialize in children.'  After leaving the restaurant, Ms. Nishikawa called the owner who reiterated that he didn't want to encourage patrons to bring their kids to dine.

Then, she blogged about it.  And the furor took off from there. Angry posts went up encouraging families with kids to boycott Baltazar's, and pretty soon the other side started weighing in.

In my view, there are times and places for children. A fancy restaurant and a spa are two occasions when the presence of children is disruptive and inappropriate. There are plenty of kid-friendly dining experiences you can have with your kids in nearly every city.  Why do you need to go to a white-table cloth establishment in order to enjoy a family night out? And truly, is anything more annoying than having a nice mommy break at a spa overrun by misbehaving kids who scream and carry-on?


Comments

 

nancy said:

I agree completely that there is a time and a place for kids.

April 27, 2007 3:37 PM
 

Kaz said:

Maybe it is because I don't eat meat, but "upscale" and "fish tacos" don't really seem to go together...

April 27, 2007 3:37 PM
 

Miss-B said:

How old of a baby?  How fancy of a restaurant?

We went to Blackbird for our anniversary last year.  While we were there a large party showed up with a newborn in tow.  I was jealous.  I wish I'd been able to get out and about with my newborns that way.  

At the same time, I don't drop three hundred on a dinner expecting to have a toddler sitting eighteen inches from me.  I guess it depends on how fancy the place is.  It can't be <i>that</i> great if they haven't trained their servers not to act like douchebags to the patrons.

April 27, 2007 3:40 PM
 

Miss-B said:

"Maybe it is because I don't eat meat, but "upscale" and "fish tacos" don't really seem to go together..."

I amend my earlier statement.  A place that has fish tacos on the menu should expect people to bring children.  Unless it's billed as, "Deconstructed 'Fish Taco' with Chilean Sea Bass, Polenta cake, and chili coulis."  Even then they're pushing it.

April 27, 2007 3:44 PM
 

tm said:

 I agree with the restaurant 100%.  When you go to a fine dining establishment you're paying for the atmosphere as well as the food and service.  I would be pretty miffed if I spent two, three hundred on dinner and a baby was crying or fussing at the table next to me.  I love my baby and I actually like going out to dinner with him and my husband, but we have the good sense to go to places that are children and baby friendly.  And even in a baby friendly environment, if baby was acting fussy or crying we would leave.  We would get our food to go or cancel our order and leave.  

April 27, 2007 3:52 PM
 

Anne said:

Well, if you read her blog, there are some clarifications to CrankMama's post: She wasn't refused service.  They sat them, and then were just nasty and rude about it.  And, the baby was eight weeks old, so they only wanted a high chair to have a place to put the carseat in which the baby was sleeping.  I agree there is a time and a place for kids (and so, presumably, does the customer in question, whose older children were home with a sitter), but a sleeping infant doesn't seem like much to get your knickers in a twist over.  

Oh, and, the restaurater screamed at her and called her a fucking bitch when she called to tell him about her experience.  Babies, high chairs, whatever, that seems like reason enough for all in Bend to avoid this place.  

April 27, 2007 4:16 PM
 

Miss-B said:

"Babies, high chairs, whatever, that seems like reason enough for all in Bend to avoid this place."

You said it.

There may be a place for children, babies, highchairs, whatever; If I enter a restaurant and they decide to seat my party, then they proceed to offer substandard service because my party didn't live up to their expectations of what kind of people should be dining there, then fuck that place in the eye.  

April 27, 2007 4:24 PM
 

Amy said:

This is actually a hot button for me.  I've found that in in some neighborhoods/establishments, it doesn't matter if your child is well behaved - people will still complain.  Despite all the "unruly children" comments, I rarely actually see horribly behaved children in restaurants.  I think it's a matter of perspective, and normal toddler behavior is viewed as "naughty."  We visited a really noisy hamburger joint in once, and when I posted a positive comment on a local website, it was full of people complaining that the restaurant was full of nasty children.  Nasty children who'll be paying your Social Security, that's what I say.  

April 27, 2007 4:38 PM
 

bubbles76angel said:

Generally, if it's a really fancy restaurant, we leave the baby at home.  But we have been to a few for family events (birthdays usually) with her.  I think if it's a really nice restaurant and you know that it's probably inappropriate to bring children, you shouldn't bring your baby.  

BUT I think that high class restaurants, should also have the class to be respectful, understanding, tactful and have excellent customer service.  Which wasn't the case here.  

April 27, 2007 6:54 PM
 

mom101 said:

I think what's important is that diners - with or without kids - maintain decorum and respect the ambience of any establishment. This means if you are with a group of friends, you don't jump on the table and sing a drunken round of Volare. If you're with a date, you don't go to third base in the banquette. And if you're with your kid, you don't let them shriek or run around the place.

I'm of the school that if you've got well mannered kids who can respect the rules, you have the right to be there and be treated well. But that's easy for me to say. My child is perfect.

April 27, 2007 7:29 PM
 

Mom2Two said:

I agree with Mom101.  A friend of mine took her 4 year old to the symphony because she was obsessed with classical music.  She was an angel.  You won't see me taking *my* child to the symphony, because, after all, he is 2 1/2.  

8 week old babies don't do much other than sleep and eat.  Give me a break.

Hey, it could be worse.  Another friend was denied seating in a cafe in France because she had her 3 month old along and they "didn't take babies."  Inside was a couple eating with their DOG lounging under the table...

April 27, 2007 8:00 PM
 

Jenande said:

I took my ten-month-old boy to Chez Panisse.  It was my last chance to go there (and only my second time ever) before leaving the Bay Area.  I brought a Me-Too chair that hooked neatly on the table.  My child didn't cry or make any kind of disturbance, but especially at that age he was truly a foodie -- he spent the entire time appreciating the perfect fruit and bread and bites of other things.  Though they were clearly surprised to have a baby customer, the staff were gracious as ever.  I would not take my now-three and two-year-olds there, but I'm very happy I didn't err on the side of caution that other time.

April 27, 2007 9:45 PM
 

Kim said:

I agree wiht MOM101.

I write a blog about Eating Around Chicago with Kids. My family was *invited* to dine at two rather upscale restaurants.

Key to a successful high-style dining with kids is clarifying behavioral expectations beforehand, as well as any related consequences and rewards. (Threats and bribes you say? Who cares? It worked!)

April 27, 2007 10:28 PM
 

Sheri said:

We have a fancy restaurant we go to all the time.  It isn't quite $300 for two, but it is a little more upscale than your average place.  We go when they aren't crowded, at about 2ish, after naps.  My kids aren't perfect (they are almost 5 and 3), but if no one is there but us, who can we bother, right??  We went there when my dh's parents were still alive, and continue to eat there at least once a month.  The staff has known my boys since the oldest was 4 and the other guys since infanthood.  I remember once the hostess picked up Nate and walked with him so we could finish our dinner.  He was around 2 months and wanted attention.  

I believe there is a time and a place for kids.  We don't have sitters, so we figured out the next best thing.  If I thought for a minute we were bothering anyone, I wouldn't do it.  Oh, and we tip around 30% and pick up all the food that ends up on the floor.  Maybe that's why they like us.

April 27, 2007 11:26 PM
 

Bend Oregon Restaurants said:

Why am I the "other side". I'm like Switzerland, I'm neutral. I didn't have all the facts when I received the initial post to my blog so I just threw in my two cents based on the initial comments sent to me.

One thing that I feel needs to be cleared up...this restaurant is not that fancy. I beleive their bill was $300 but that was for a table of 6 adults (and the sleeping baby). I've eaten there a few times, it's pricey for a Mexican restaurant for sure and can get really spendy with their expensive margaritas. But this place doesn't scream "no kids" when you walk in. If I didn't know better, I'd bring kids with me. I can't wait for friends with kids to visit so we can go there. Well, I talk a big game, so we'll see when the chance comes.

-BOR

April 27, 2007 11:44 PM
 

Sheri said:

OK, just my two cents again, I saw a review of the place.  If you have the your restaurant's name engraved on your beverage glasses, you ain't that fancy.

April 28, 2007 12:05 AM
 

Yvette said:

Hi all- I am the gal that emailed about 20 personal friends last Friday night with news of the incident that happened to me at the restaurant and then later with the follow-up conversation with B.  Until today, I had never posted a blog so I'm quite the newbie to this.

My email ended up all over the town- on websites I never knew existed, and in newspapers.  Due to many people coming forward with similar complaints- many NOT involving children- the papers decided to run the story.   My intention was to inform my PARENT friends so they could avoid the same type of mistreatment- not put him out of business.  He will eventually do that ON HIS OWN because of the DOZENS of people now contacting the newspapers with complaints (no children, same issue!)  

In a nutshell... my experience:

Mom (ME!) leaves CHILDREN AT HOME WITH BABYSITTER TO ENJOY QUIET EVENING OUT WITH TWO OTHER COUPLES.  She brings the newborn baby.  The group is SEATED BY THE STAFF/OWNER and then treated rudely by two employees and owner.  The bratty, loud, obnoxious, unruly, food throwing, out of control 4 week old sleeps the entire time.  Other guests with us are horrified and convince her to write a letter- she does and then is telephoned by owner who is outraged by the suggestion to buy ONE HIGHCHAIR just in case parent goes in to restaurant not knowing UNSTATED POLICY.  Here it goes everyone- ready,  OWNER LOSES TEMPER AND SAYS, "GO TO HELL, YOU F__ING BTCH"

THere it is - straight from the horse's mouth!  Nothing else to provoke the man- no racial slurs, rude comments, sarcasm, nada, zip.

Now- the issue is not children or infants in restaurants- heck, many of us parents would LOVE TO GO to an ADULT ONLY dinner spot.  I agree that it is COMPLETELY his prerogative to have an adults only establishment but we are not mind readers and this mexican restaurant in a strip mall does not ooze "fine dining."

And whether you are FOR OR AGAINST children in restaurants is IRRELEVANT.  The point is IF A PERSON WANTS TO SUCCEED IN THEIR BUSINESS, they must know how to handle issues in a PROFESSIONAL manner.  That's it.  There are NO excuses for that type of behavior- it' s plain WRONG.

April 28, 2007 1:43 AM
 

Anisa said:

Wow, great clarification from Yvette.  This owner is obviously insane.  I think we all agree that all parties should respect the ambience of the establishment, and that Yvette and her baby certainly did, and that these people simply don't understand the basic points of quality service.  Abusive language against customers, for instance, is nearly always discouraged.  Good debate sparked by one rogue restauranteur.  I hope we hear from him soon!

April 28, 2007 3:02 AM
 

InDudeMood said:

When my oldest daughter was four she said loudly enough for the entire restaurant to hear:  "Dad, I just farted and, whoo-whee, does it smell BAD!"

Needless to say, I'm glad it was a kid friendly place and everyone seemed amused.  But yeah, isn't there a time to leave the kiddies at home?  Just my opinion.  Humbly submitted.  :-)

April 29, 2007 2:28 AM
 

Strollerderby said:

That headline? That sums up our week. When we weren&#39;t knee-deep in placenta juice (mmmmm), we were kicking kids out of restaurants, wondering why new moms are so damn selfish and getting an odd feeling that celebrities aren&#39;t using &quot;yoga&quot;

August 14, 2007 12:04 AM

in

GROUP BLOGS

  • Strollerderby

    The smartest, funniest, most exhaustive parenting blog in the blogosphere.
  • Droolicious

    Modern design for modern parents.
  • FameCrawler

    Your daily baby celebrity fix.
back to blog homepage