Emmeline turns one next week, and she's already learning that a well-timed tantrum will get her anything she desires. More Cheerios. More play time. More heroin-spiked formula. So it was a great relief to read this bit of parenting advice from one Andrew Post, a senior and mass communications major at North Dakota State School Of Making Life As Simplistic As Possible -- NDSSOMLASAP for short.
Apparently I've been dealing with Emme's newfound independence with the wrong mindset. Turns out I've got to A. think of her as a dog, B. beat the crap out of her occasionally and C. force her to eat spinach so she might one day look through rose-colored glasses and see what a great dad I actually was. Thanks Andrew!
Here's just one of my favorite excerpts:
"I would be far less than a man today if Mom and Dad hadn’t taken the trouble to teach me some hard lessons.
"Parents who pamper their children and can’t stand disciplining them are literally following a recipe for disaster.
"Those children will end up (at the very least) socially inept losers. Like the people on “Jerry Springer.” "
I think he nailed it. (Oh please, oh please, oh please -- no one unearth the crazy crap I wrote in college ....)