Strollerderby

My son kinda figured it out on his own and he is only 6. I think the best thing to do is see how far you can push it, and when you see that look of doubt in their eyes, come clean. I realized Santa wasnt real when I noticed he had the same hand writing as my dad. Yea i still tell the story, but it didnt mess me up in any way. (although that is arguable with some)

I always think it's odd when parents express so much concern over their children discovering The Horrible Betrayal of the Santa Claus Lie. Has anyone ever really felt traumatized and been left with scars when they learned the truth? I also confirmed the nonexistence of Santa through the handwriting discovery - but it made me feel like Nancy Drew (bonus!), plus, my dad explained me that Santa was indeed real, he just wasn't a man - he was the feeling that people call "Christmas Spirit" and the Easter Bunny was a made-up character used to bring the excitement of spring to life. (We also spent a lot of time talking about book plots, and such, so all of this went along with my parents general approach to fantasy/fiction as a tool for understanding life.) I wouldn't ever change those years of having that magical little world a few days a year.

When children are very small they need to believe in magic.  They have a natural urge to believe that good things happen and that everything magically will always be all right.  As they grow older, they begin to realize that they and the people around them can make the good things happen. They can also make bad things happen.  They begin to realize magic isn't real.  If some jerk of a brother doesn't tell them when they are 4, they might actually believe until they are ready to give it up.

When I asked my dad if there was really a Santa Claus, he said, "Yes, but your mom and I are Santa Claus." I didn't feel betrayed at all--I felt pretty cool for being in on the grownup secret.

Two stories.

First, I was one of the youngest in my family and never had a chance to believe in Santa Claus. My parents also went the it is the spirit of

Christmas route when explaining why other parents let their kids believe in a made up person. I was that kid in Kindergarten who told the whole class Santa was a lie.

Second, a good friend of mine tried to go the honest route and told her oldest daughter from the start that Santa wasn't real. To this day her children try to convince her that Santa is real. I don't know if this is a desire to believe in magic or good. I love to hear the arguments that they have when she tries to give them real facts and logic around Santa. Each year is something new and enlightening.

My son isn't a year yet and I don't know what I will do. I guess it depends on how he reacts to Santa.

Huh? What do you mean....they're NOT real?

We are all about the whole Santa Claus thing, along with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy AND the Great Pumpkin (he brings non candy treats on Halloween so mom and dad can give away much of their candy--we like our kids with teeth).  

Our oldest is 17 and believed till he was 15ish.  He's autistic and at about 12, I tried to explain to him Santa doesn't exist.  He's autistic and many of the kids at school try to take care of him.  He mentioned that Santa wasn't real to the captain of the football team who told him "whoever told you that was lying.  Santa's the bomb!!"  He came home from school that day and told me I was lying to him.  He eventually figured it out when he saw my husband and I setting up presents 3 years later, but has been sworn to never let on to his two younger brothers.  

I don't see a problem with it.  I believed till I was like in 7th grade and should have caught on earlier, but I really don't think I wanted to.  I'm not scarred.  

Really, I'm not.  

I don't think there's really any way to plan it, just take it as it comes. For what it's worth, I think we should just let them believe, and, handle any "issues" as they arise.

I believed, and, figures it out on my own, I turned out OK, too.

Really, I did. Honest. You in the back? Be quiet. I swear I turned out OK, don't listen to them.

When a friend at school told my daughter that Santa Claus wasn't real, she came home and asked me. She was nine.  I my mind I sighed mentally and figured that we had made it longer than most families do.  Out loud I told her this:  Santa Claus was a real person at one time.  He was a very good man that brought toys and food to poor children when they needed them.  We celebrate his memory at Christmas time and that memory is a magical thing.  As long as we keep it alive in our hearts and remember to give to others who are less fortunate than our family and not just to ourselves, Santa will always be real.  

Now, she tells all nay-sayers that they just don't get what Christmas really means.  Then she explains it to them the way I explained it to her.

As for the Easter Bunny etc....she's known they aren't real for years and years, but it's  fun thing for us to do in the house and she has a three year old brother that's just getting into it, so we enjoy it while we can.

I was the youngest of 6 kids, and when it came time for my parents to choose to go the Santa route with me, my 17 year old sister told them that it would be wrong for them to lie to me. They chose to take her advice, however they did nothing to shield me from Santa, either. I watched all the pre-Christmas specials. When I asked if I could leave out milk and cookies, I was encouraged to do so. My parents didn't squelch my Santa fervor; they just never explicitly "told" me anything either. And I believed in him, until I was about 7 or so.

I realize that what my parents did was in some ways sneakier than lying, but hey, if it helped them sleep better at night, then it was worth while.

If you're really feeling too guilty to lie, let the media do your lying for you. It ought to be good for something.

And by the way, when my sister had her own kids, her position shockingly had changed...

When my son was 8, he came home asking me if Santa was real, and I told him yes, but I felt terrible about lying. The next year I chose to tell him the truth. He was DEVASTATED. You would have thought I killed his best friend. He knew the truth, I think, but didn't want to know. We finally got him calmed down and then he asked us if that meant the Easter Bunny wasn't real, either. When my husband started laughing my son dissolved into another half-hour flood of tears. He is almost 12 now and still feels that I ruined Christmas for him. Well, I don't call him the Drama King for nothing... I regret now that I didn't dodge the issue for another year or so. I think he wanted to believe in the magical aspect of Santa for a little longer.

I lie to my kids all the time.  It's one of the perks.

I figure if their grandparents  can abuse their time with them by filling their heads with religous fluff, then who am I to take the honesty route?