Who's the Material Girl, now? 

(Sorry.  I had to!)

Melissa Dumas claims to have been the nanny for Madonna's two oldest children, Lola and Rocco, from 2005-2006, and she's looking to cash in on her experience with a tell-all book titled "Live To Tell: My Life As Madonna's Nanny," scheduled for release later this year. 

Reports say that the book paints a portrait of Madonna as an "overly strict mother," who forbids even the slightest noises from being made while she's sleeping (not even running water), forces household members to adhere to a strict dietary regimen - macrobiotic, I'm guessing - and enforces a total media ban within the home(s): no television, newspapers or magazines allowed - ever.

So far, it sounds pretty accurate; Madonna has mentioned the media ban herself, and has admitted to being "the disciplinarian" in the family.  I  wonder what Guy Ritchie thinks of his wife running their house like some kind of deranged Capitan Von Trapp in a cone bra - where does he fit into all of this?  And if she hated the famously strict Catholic home she grew up in (she has spoken openly about how much she loathed it), why would Madonna choose to raise her own children in a similar fashion?  For god's sake, does "Papa Don't Preach" mean nothing?!?