Shut Up & Parent: Why Time Magazine Hates Babble
Like someone straight from a 1950s parenting book he gently reminds us, “Once, it was understood that raising kids was about subordinating
yourself, recognizing that, at least as far as Darwin and the gene pool
were concerned, you were no longer the star.”
He assumes that the raft of parenting memoirs and blogs, as well as on-line magazines like Babble prove our unwillingness to put our kids first. By turning parenting into an intellectual, social, and critical exercise we fail to see that we are no longer the center of the universe. In this analysis, parents are to be seen and not heard.
But if there were ever a time to be self-reflective and even a bit angst-ridden, that time is now. As relatively new parents, we learn a great deal by reading the writings of others in similar straits. And if our kids listen to the Ramones and wear Baby Gap, it doesn’t mean being cool is our primary objective. On the contrary, any parent with a heart, no matter what they wear, where they live, or what is on their iPod, understands the tectonic shift that must occur when one is the guardian of little innocent people.
Parents no longer look only toward the experts for advice and direction. We look within and to each other. Through our parenting magazines, blogs, books, and podcasts, we are providing more support and real information than Dr. Spock ever could. The democratization of parenting information is at hand. Move over Dr. Sears, we are the new experts.
Slate is joining the “Notes from the Underbelly” television show pile-on that began a few days ago here
James Poniewozik, author of the much Babbled about “Too Cool for Preschool” piece in this week’s Time Magazine, kindly agreed to answer some of our questions about his problem with hip parent bloggers and writers. STROLLER DERBY: You seem concerned that
Funny, when I first heard of Dr. Spock, i thought it was the dude from Star Trek that wrote a book about raising kids.
As for Time, I wouldn’t take them seriously. Remember who was ‘person of the year’ – you.
First, I know, I used the word “blogosphere.” I apologize. Second, in case you haven’t heard, James Poniewozick
While I certainly think that we are a somewhat anxiety-ridden and judgmental generation when it comes to parenting (Mommywars anyone?), I find it laughable that a BabyBoomer, part of the ME generation, is implying that GenX is particularly narcissistic.
And frankly the term “hipster” as applied to parenting has become a word that has lost all meaning as it has been co-opted as another marketing tool and manufactured trend. Really, what the hell is a hipster parent anyway, and why do we even need to apply the label as something desirable or undesirable to which one should (or should not) aspire? I’m with Jah in endorsing the idea of “you keep doing what you doing.” Can we just remove the label altogether and talk about what interests us as parents (and people?)
First, I know, I used the word “blogosphere.” I apologize. Second, in case you haven’t heard, James Poniewozick
is this a satire or are you people serious? All of you “alternaparents” or whatever you want to be called need to grow up and quit imposing your own quirky! original! musical and fashion tastes on your poor kids. Read them a real book, take off the Ramones tshirts, and cut their hair. and yours too, while you’re at it.
I agree with Jah.
WE KNOW what we are doing. Poniewozik doesn’t.
Jah stop chasing rats around kitchen for a moment.
Eye and I wonder why you all so worked up? If you as secure in your role as parent as you say, then why you give a bucket of hipster-poop about what this guy say? What, you worried what others might think about you? Sheesh mon, that be too pathetic. Parents in 1950s berated for not being American enough. Parents in 60s for not being middle-class enough. Parents in 70s for being too laid back. In 80s for listening to Bon Jovi. It just go on and on. Like Toots sing, “Pressures gonna drop on you.” So what. If you really hip, cool, urban, whatever, you keep doing what you doing. Not whining about how “The Media” be dissin’ you.
Jah also wonder why everyone down on Dr. Spock? He first to say that parents know best what their kids need, so follow your instincts. That don’t sound so bad to Jah.
Jah
Wait, Baby Gap is cool??
PingBack from http://www.crankmama.com/2007/02/11/were-here-were-hip-get-used-to-it/
Here’s what I wrote about this on my own blog. Take that, mainstream media!
Some dude at Time.com is ragging on parent bloggers for being narcissists with a skewed sense of priorities, more interested in making our offspring cool, and thereby remaining (or in my case, becoming) cool through their reflected hipness. Now I proudly admit to being anarcissist, and an especially compelling, fascinating one at that, but otherwise, I think the article misses the mark.
I like to write online about what’s going on in my life, for my own amusement and for the entertainment of anyone who clicks on by. And what’s going on in my life now is parenting. I don’t write about the Lads in place of spending time with them; I write about them because I devote so much of myself to them. I find my sons endlessly amazing and amusing, and I’m just bursting with joy at their very existence. This is just an outlet for that. There’s a certain element of navel-gazing in blogging, but for now, I’m gazing at the Lads’ navels — and as any parent of two-year-olds knows, there’s nothing more interesting than a belly button.
“Hipster.” It’s a dirty word, these days. Especially when used to describe a parent. In fact, to some , the word “hipster” is synonymous with the word “douche bag.” Originally, the term was coined in the 1940s, and used to refer to the jazz
i like your use of the phrase “parents are to be seen and not heard.” I have commented to friends recently that whereas q century ago western culture suffered from a “children are to be seen and not heard” complex, American culture has since gone too far in the other direction, organizing parenthood almost exclusively around children. The protagonist of the modern American suburb is the child; almost all institutions are organized around the child and his/her physical and mental nourishment. It’s clearly great to nourish children, but what of providing the children with parents who have a life that they would aspire to have themselves someday? Why should they want to become adults at all? If i work hard in school someday i will be able to spend my life isolated from others my age, deprived of cultural engagement, driving carpool.
I would like to give my children, in addition to everything else we parents want to give our children, an example of a fulfilled adult life. There is such a thing as having a culture that is too child obsessed, and American culture today is a case study of it. It is, in the end, a disservice to children. This kind of response to Babble and other thinking, engaged parents is a response to heresy in the church of the child obsessed. Let them hurl spitballs … its about time we had a forum like this.
I agree with Crunchy.
Also, I really like those matching outfits from the photo. Pity may daughter and I are too fat to wear them.
Okay, seriously though? There’s nothing “alternative” about any of this. My friends who grew up in life center housing in the 70′s? They might be able to talk about alternative. Someone being homeschool in a bunker in Montana? Same.
Buying a brownstone or a Hollywood bungalow and some Eames furniture to breastfeed on? Attending a homeschooling or AP meet up organized by your local message board because, although you’re proud to live in a slum, you’re too proud to school your children in one? Not. So. Much.
“Hipster.” It’s a dirty word, these days. Especially when used to describe a parent. In fact, to some , the word “hipster” is synonymous with the word “douche bag.” Originally, the term was coined in the 1940s, and used to refer to the jazz
Check out this mofo’s bio: http://www.time.com/time/columnist/poniewozik/article/0,9565,494009,00.html
(Here a list of the other articles he’s written for Time: http://www.time.com/time/columnist/poniewozik; by the sound of the titles, he sounds like he also has a brainiac complex.)
This dude Poniewozik probably is suffering from a mid-life/identity crisis.
Judging by his bio and that he started being published in 1997 (on Salon.com), I would either place him as a baby boomer OR one of those on the cusp of boomdom and the Gen X era. Since he started writing on the web, I guess he’s the latter, most likely starting out as some _wunderkind_, especially if he’s been aired on NPR, the leftist equivalent of _60 Minutes_. Now he’s too old to be considered cute or noticed literary-wise, AND he has two kids — a veritable GEEZER.
Now he’s coming down on the new breed of writers who have the means to self-publish. Like we’re stepping on his old turf.
Just, say “fuck him” and ignore his old washed-up ass.
(Watch out, he might be trying to get his own _Eragon_ published.)
I don’t even think that we talk about it any more than previous generations. It is just that the talking happens online rather than at the kitchen table.
I don’t think we are any better or worse parents than the last generation….we are just filled with more angst and self doubt about how it all fits into our little world and if we are doing a good enough job and so on.
And we talk about it.
All the time.
Great post, CrankMama. Couldn’t agree more.