Cocktail Playdates: What’s the Big Deal?
Did you catch the Today Show this morning? Melissa Summers was on with Meredith Viera discussing the “cocktail playdate” phenomenon.
When Melissa told me she was going on the show, I was worried that the producers would try to paint those of us that might like to have a cocktail or glass of wine at playdates (no, not every one, and not at 9:00 AM although some days…) as a bunch of irresponsible alcoholics, but my impression was that it was a very balanced segment.
The moms they interviewed were all women I’d be happy to have over some afternoon to share a bottle of wine. And Melissa is right, if you have a problem with that we probably can’t be friends. And people that criticize moms who drink responsibly BECAUSE WE’RE ADULTS, are just looking for an excuse to critize, well, anything.
The Today Show polled iVillage members and 57% disapproved of “momtinis.” I think the numbers would be different if they polled on a site like Babble. So what do you think? Have you ever shared a bottle of wine or mixed up a batch of mojitos with other parents while your kids are around? Or should alcohol never mix with children?
[graphic credit: Suburban Bliss]


Daddy Blogger Doodaddy has a thought-provoking post about the difficulties of creating a play group and
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Frig. I didn’t know this was already a trend. I thought I was being a pioneer.
It’s funny, the first playdate I hosted in my house, I HAD to open a bottle of Shiraz from get down from the high of non-stop cleaning. None of the other mommies accepted, probably to appear decorous, or they were pregnant with the 2nd. I call the groups I host the “Teatime Thursday Playgroup” because they are not at some nosebleed daytime hour.
I was part of this particular NYC neighborhood’s Ya-boo-hoo group for a while until I started being militant-mommy on my posts and was too hot for the boomer moms to handle. They banned me. Ha. I’d like to throw some red wine on those moms’ white Izod shirts.
Are you kidding? Playdates REQUIRE booze. Seriously, if I’m getting together w/ people, I want a drink. I’m not talking 5, or even 3 for that matter, but a glass of wine or a beer is nice when hanging out w/ other moms or dads, shooting the sh*t, watching our kids destroy the house or try to kill each other. I certainly wouldn’t boycott a playdate because there was nothing yummy to drink, but you better believe if Jenna’s mom has a glass of wine waiting, and Henry’s mom doesn’t – I’m lobbying for Jenna’s house.
Because of the heated reaction to The Today Show’s segment on cocktail playdates which aired on 1/26/07
Ayun Halliday has been one of my favorite writers ever since I laid hands on The Big Rumpus . Not one to be tied down by stereotypes, the offbeat mama of two and mastermind behind the East Village Inky has gone on to write three tomes outside of the parenting
I’m just stunned by the people who think having a drink in front of their child will make them an alcoholic. The surest way to give your kids an unhealthy attitude toward alchohol is to build it up as having some sort of mystical powers – for good or evil. Tell/show your kids that alcohol is only for drunkards, and when they try it and like it, they’ll assume they’re drunkards and act accordingly. Tell/show your kids that you can’t have fun without alcohol, and they’ll assume that they can’t either. A relaxed and moderate attitude toward drinking is the best hope for helping your kids grown into their own healthy attitude toward the stuff when they’re adults.
Absolutely! We used to have regular Friday night gatherings with anywhere from 1-3 other families in San Francisco. My husband, a namer by trade, dubbed it “Tots n’ Tonic” – this apparently spread to another group of parents who passed the name along to some parents in NYC. A couple years ago there was an article about it in the NYT. We’d order dinner and have a glass or two of wine, the kids would all play (sometimes we’d put lime wedges in their sippies) and then the kids all got to take a bath together! No one over overdid it, it was just a great time for everyone.
What I’ve learned from all this is that 57% of the people who are on iVillage suck. So I guess I am better off here on Babble after all.
I never host a playdate without offering coffee, tea, Diet Coke or wine. It’s an afternoon playdate for chrisake, not an AA meeting. If you’re going to get hammered while you’re playing with your kids you’re probably going to do so whether I’m there to enable you or not. And honestly, nothing makes other peoples toddlers more tolerable than a glass or two of wine.
I live in a very social neighborhorhood and many a time we have had cocktail hour on a Friday afternoon while the kids play. So I would have to say that I would be part of the the 43% of people on iVillage who would have to say that really, as long as we represent moderate and responsible drinking, there is nothing wrong with it.
Yep! I’ve had a glass or two of wine with other moms while watching our kids. I would MUCH rather present an example of healthy, moderate, responsible drinking to my children than be a Puritan about it and have her go crazy in college.
Besides, I really, really love red wine.
And when you’re breastfeeding, nothing guarantees that the little one will take a good nap like a glass of merlot! It’s good for the heart, too.
I think that is a GREAT idea for afternoon playdates. By 2 pm, we’ve had three poops up the bodysuit and at least two barfing episodes, four instances of Mommy’s hair being pulled toward a baby’s mouth, and no fewer than seventeen occurrences of the baby screaming in my ear because I can’t figure out what the hell she means by “EEEEEGAHOOH!”
So yeah, a glass of wine would be nice.
Yep. We’re cocktail parents up in here–no birthday goes uncelebrated without beer, whether you’re turning two or thirty-two. We’ve had a few drinky playdates and may we have a few more. And frankly, that Sofia Coppola sippy-can of sparkling wine has improved my opinion of going to the playground.