Okay, this isn't as bad as it sounds, but the situation is still pretty effed up. These parents aren't Picabo Street's parents who decided that calling her "Little Girl" until she could choose her own name was a good idea. The parents in this story did give their kid a first name, they just couldn't decide on a last name without tying up the courts for two years.

Oregon residents Christy Wizner and Chad Doherty had a baby together in April of 2004.  They were not married and are no longer together. Wizner wanted the baby to have her last name, the same last name as her previous two children. Thing is, her last name isn't her "ancestral" last name, but the last name of her ex-husband. Doherty took issue with that (natch), and wanted the baby to have his surname since he is the father. Seems like a reasonable request, yes? No. The pair couldn't agree so they did the American thing and hired lawyers.

(Don't you wonder what the kid's last name was for two years?)

"The issues that usually are the most contentious — child support, custody and visitation — were resolved quickly." But Wizner and Doherty still couldn't agree on their daughter's last name, "so a hearing was held in November of 2004. The judge at the time "decided to follow the custom of naming the child after a biological parent of the child."

Wizner appealled and after two years and a review of "1,000 years of naming history," the new judge ruled in favor of Wizner giving Doherty's biological child the last name of his baby mama's ex-husband. Seriously, how pissed would you be? 

Said the judge: "We recognize that having a surname different from the noncustodial father's surname can have an impact on the relationship that the noncustodial parent has with the child, but development of a bond between father and daughter will depend on the love and devotion that father exhibits toward his daughter, not on whether the child bears his name."

I know what the judge is saying, but come on. The woman already has two kids with her name by a different dad. What is so hard about raising a child with a different last name. How many of us have grown up in blended families where this was the case and no one had to hire lawyers to figure it all out?

File under: Parenting Without a License. Cross-Reference: Girl, Why You Gotta Be Like That?

[via Yahoo News]