In a clever post, Momish discusses what ails us this holiday season: Holiday Histrionics Disorder -- a diagnosis with the following symptoms:
- Feeling keyed up or on edge, with the inability to distinguish
between meaningful and insignificant issues (eminent bankruptcy vs.
broken tree ornaments)
- Obsessive concern and worry over lists
- Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank, forgetfulness
- Impatience, irritability displayed in crowded public places
- Sudden aggressive or violent emotions (mostly directed towards seasonal retail help and/or significant other)
- Intense aversion to the colors green and/or red (except regarding foods or drinks)
- Constant worry or depression over weight gain
To this excellent list I'd add:
- Desire to harm Salvation Army bell ringers coupled with deeply mean thoughts about church ladies and cheerful people
- Inability to envision Peace on Earth
- End of the World starting to seem "ok."
If you or your loved ones are suffering from abnormally high levels of holiday stress, here are some quick cures, in order of effectiveness:
- Sex on the kitchen floor -- yes it's often uncomfortable, but you'll feel wild and young after you do it
- Mimosas -- morning alcohol that is socially appropriate. Need I say more?
- Chocolate
- Teach your children to say funny things in LOUD voices in PUBLIC places (e.g., "Mom - Why are Republicans going to Hell? Is it because they don't care about poor people?")
- Walk by grocery check-out and secretly make fun of everyone who buys "People"
And you? What are your solutions to holiday stress?
