Some parents have a shady past. It might be as frivolous as a cocaine bust back in the swingin' Reagan 80s, or as sad as a 26-year string of convictions for driving drunk.

But what if the parents' crime is a sex crime? That poses an interesting dilemma when it comes time for said parent to attend school functions. Your average parent, after all (hi), isn't gonna be thrilled about a child molester or rapist wandering around school grounds no matter how many sprogs they call their own. The Granite Board of Education in South Salt Lake City had to tackle this thorny issue. Their solution: require sex offenders to call ahead before they attend events, and ensure that one or more adults have an eagle-eye on them at all times.

How does that make you feel as a parent? Damned if I can tell you how it makes me feel. I'd prefer to see these issues addressed on a case by case basis rather than by a blanket rule. Otherwise, who knows who the hell you're letting through? Chronic sex offenders can do some sad shit to get their pedophilia jones. Take Canadian dad Robert Alan Girard, who used his 6-year-old daughter's sleepovers as a front for molesting her friends. All it takes is one moment of "I thought YOU were watching him!" for a child to fall into harm's way.

And yes, I'm being paranoid parent, and treating sex offenders as if they'll offend again. Sue me. The odds are overwhelmingly in danger's favor.