I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

friskycat01 — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 00:59:49 GMT

For some reason I have chronic eight month post-baby baby fever. Eight months after my daughter was born I got the fever. Finn was conceived two weeks later. Finn will be eight months old on Dec. 9th and I am already feeling it full force despite the fact that I had my tubes tied when Finn was born (my husband and I decided long ago we could handle no more than two). For example, I spent about three hours looking at <a href="www.jctoys.com/.../productView.aspx baby dolls of which I purchased two for my daughter to assuage my need for cute baby-ness.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

GirlsGoneChild — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 21:36:29 GMT

You guys are all awesome. Thanks for your .02. Much appreciated.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Sheri — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 20:13:57 GMT

Sounds like you have a plan. My kids are 18, 5 and 3 1/2. There are 22 months between numbers 2 and 3. It works for us. The first 6 months of Quinn's (the youngest) life were sortve a blur, but I enjoy them. At least you will have only one in diapers and all that. The double diapers/pull-ups thing sucks. I hope everything turns out just the way you want it to....I tend to agree with everyone else that planning it down to the month and everything doesn't always work. You'll land on your feet no matter what!!!

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Kim — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 05:08:48 GMT

There's been a lot of comments regarding when siblings do and don't get along. I know my bro and I (3 1/2 years apart) HATED, and I mean hated each other. BUT my parents didn't really do a good job and there was a messy divorce. I wonder if the parents get along and provide good boundaries and lots of love, if it really matters what the age difference is. Just curious.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

HerBadMother — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 04:10:06 GMT

HBF and I tried to sort out the whole 'being ready' thing, until we came to the realization that we weren't never going to feel as ready as we wanted to feel. So we decided to let fate decide, and fate did, and now here we are, all knocked up and shit. And I gotta say - I still don't feel 100% ready, whatever that means. I felt more ready yesterday than I did two months ago, and I certainly feel more ready having seen some u/s pics, but truth? I might feel LESS ready tomorrow, when Wonderbaby kicks my ass again and I spend the afternoon with my head in the toilet. But when the little sprout arrives? I KNOW that we'll be ready for him/her.

Ready in our hearts. That's all that matters.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Bridget — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 17:36:42 GMT

I too had my first child at a young age-23. Between finishing my BA and trying to break into a design career, 28 snuck up on me rather quickly. I decided it was time. It was a tough decision, because after about age 3 (or potty training), you revert back to being a bit of the old pre-baby selfish self. Your child becomes more independent. You can go out and the kiddo can stay at G'mas for the weekend, take a vacation with your spouse, drink wine with friends until you pass out, whatever we Moms do for fun.

We had said if we didn't have another baby by the time our daughter was five, then we were cool with one.

I now have a 6 month old and five year old, and it is an incredible/ rewarding /frustrating / blessed trip everyday. The worst was when she said "I really want it to be just the three of us again." I think the more verbal the kid is the harder the adjustment. They can tell you how you've in a sense rocked their world upside down.

He of course is clueless to her resentment and lights up every time she looks his way. I think each day gets better, and I'm amazed these beautiful little people are mine. (And I'm holding out for a vacation around the time he's one. Keeping my fingers crossed!)

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

AMomTwoBoys — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 17:02:09 GMT

My boys are almost 2 1/2 years apart. The youngest is only 3 months, so the jury is still out, but so far so good. Dylan loves his little brother and hasn't had too many jealousy issues, except for a short stint sleeping on the dog bed. My hope is that they'll be BFF's like my sister and me and you and your brother. There's nothing like it!

Having said that, I'll probably wait longer before the next one (if there is one). I'm not sure I want to go through having to change two diapers again!

There's never going to be a perfect time, because there's always going to be some reason NOT to do it. You'll know when you're ready and trust me, as soon as that little one arrives, it will become the best decision you ever made!

P.S. OMG...Emily freaks ME out...please, please, please make sure Archer understands that THAT is not what having a sibling is all about! :0)

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Nila — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:34:18 GMT

My sister and I are 7 years apart. That's too much. My boys are 22 months apart. That rocks. They're best buds, amd I'm so glad they have eachother, especially since I never got to experience that.

The funny thing is that I'm pregnant again and by the time this one comes along, my youngest will be 10. The crazy thing is that we planned it. I think I've lost my mind.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Sarah — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 04:55:39 GMT

When we planned our second to be 3 years younger than our first, I still worried how would we manage all of it. I focused on making Beau "the big brother" and making his "big boy room". When Luke was born, I was amazed at how special their relationship is. I didn't even think about the fact that they are brothers. They laugh, learn, dig, run, fight, splash, all together. It's awesome. And well worth all the chaos and trouble. Whatever age yours are will be great. I do think that parents can help to foster their relationship too. I'm sure you and Hal will be awesome at that. Good luck!

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Mine are 3 and 4 — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 03:52:46 GMT

At least once each day I am thankful that I have two kids. They have a relationship that I am not a part of and it is beautiful.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Sarah — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 01:57:50 GMT

I'm in the EXACT same position, too. Completely unready to have another kid (my boy is 2.5), but know that I want one some day, just NOT RIGHT NOW. In fact, I was just discussing the idea of "trying" next summer with my man the other day. The funny part of all of this is that I've been super late this month, took a preg test last night, and holyshitimpregnant.

And you know what? It's okay. It's not at all right, and I'm most probably going to go all Bertha Rochester when the baby gets here and I'm totally unequipped to cope with myself much less two whippersnappers, but it will be okay. We will be happy.

This is all to say, we can plan all we'd like, but sometimes it just doesn't matter.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

mfk — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 23:51:55 GMT

Wow... new baby!! How exciting. I doubt I will even have one kid by 27 so, you know, you're wayyyy ahead of the curve ;). I was (am) 4.5 years older than my brother, who is in turn 4 years older than my sister, which meant we had the same "I moved out when she was 11" dynamic. We're still not super close, but on the other hand, we didn't fight much. I think it just depends on the family though... my family in general is not especially demonstrative or huggy, and if you guys are then I'm sure that will affect Archer's relationship with the baby. can't wait to see him/ her :)

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Tiffany — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 19:34:05 GMT

I'm 27 with three kids, and thinking a fourth! And you thought you were crazy.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Clara — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 19:30:13 GMT

Our decision on age differences was financially driven - must pay off cars in order to afford paying for daycare for #2. That said, there are 4 years and 3 months between the boy and the girl and it's awesome. We can leave him alone in a room with her and not worry that he will poke her eyes out. He likes to help. He can give her a pacifier in the car and truly adores her. They also need different enough things that he doesn't get jealous. Oh, and we were far enough removed from the baby stuff - pacifiers, diapers, etc. - that he didn't regress at all.

My brother and I are 6 years apart. We fought like crazy when I was a kid but are uber close now.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

kuumba — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 18:20:34 GMT

We're just still on number one (not actively trying but not longer actively preventing it either), but in terms of sibling spacing my sister are I are 6 years apart and to this day (we're 29 and 23) we're crazy close. There was a time when I was in college and she was in Jr. high that we didn't talk much/have much in common but aside from those few years it's been great.

When we were younger I loved playing with her and teaching her things. We rarely argued because I could never make since of being 12 and arguing with a 6 year old. My parently laid on the 'role model' thing pretty thick and I soaked it all up. We talk about every other day. My husband has a sister who's 13 years younger than him and they talk ALL THE TIME! She's mostly telling him about the new cute boy in her class :) But she rarely calls/speaks to one of her other brothers who's a little closer in age.

I'm saying all of this to say that individual personality is often more important than age difference.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Jaci — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 13:23:26 GMT

If you're waiting to be 'ready', you'll be waiting forever.I don't think we're ever ready, but after baby #2 comes you won't be able to imagine your family any other way!

There is 4 1/2 years between my oldest son and my second son. Like you, my brother and I are 2 years apart and I was worried about the bigger span. It's different, but they're still close and it's special in other ways.

Then two years later, we got preggo with #3....but at our first ultrasound we found out we had a #3 AND #4 (and we don't have twins in the family).

Was I ready? No way!!!!

But, now we're a family of 6 and I can't imagine life any other way. It's busy, and hectic, and amazing.

Good luck with your next leap of faith. Isn't life a wild ride??

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Eliza — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:14:54 GMT

Archer and Kennedy look like siblings!

I have 2 older sisters, one is 2 years older and one is 4 years older than me, i like the small differences, but i bicker more with the one who is only 2 years older (despite us being very very close, and best friends). the 4 year age gap is big enough for me to still respect her as an elder despite both of us being adults. it's 6 of on and half a dozen of the other.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Sabrina — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 07:55:17 GMT

Yeah, I'm 24, and my kids are 3 and 1.5, a year and a half apart. THAT was insane at first, and still kinda is, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I assume that it doesn't matter when you go from one kid to two, it's probably insane. I hear that going from 2 to 3 or more isn't as bad of a change, but I don't plan on ever finding out. 2 is enough for me! I was an only child, my mom struggled to get pregnant with me, and struggled afterwards so much that I never did have a sibling. I just count myself lucky to have these two.

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Kendra — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 07:33:56 GMT

Bec, strap it on girl! I just went off the pill and we are TTC...love the lingo. Yeah, I am just taking one for the team because I will probably we a freaking mess but you know what, life is a mess no matter how you look at it. As we have both seen, there is never the perfect moment and never enough money, so get to it girlie.....concieve already. then we can be prego together, 8 hours away, and have babies the same age again! love you tons...go now, hurry!!!

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Jessi — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:23:47 GMT

I am 26 with 2 boys who are now 4 and 6. The two year gap is great for their relationship, but a lot of work. We were changing diapers for about 4 1/2 years straight between the two of them. My husband is deployed for the second time and when he gets back (April) we've talked about possibly having number 3. There would be a 5 year age gap from my youngest and I don't really want the gap to get bigger than that. You never know though, sometimes it has more to do with their personalities and whether they click together rather than the age difference.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Mary Boston — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:05:37 GMT

Just do it. You'll never plan yourself ready. My hubbie and I started trying to plan out our next kid when my first was 6 months old. Should we go off birth control? Do I want to have another child after this demon colic spawn of mine? blah, blah blah....little did we know that I had been pregnant for 3 months already!

My kids are 12 months apart. Yep, 2 kids under 2 years old! It really isn't that bad. You just do whatever it takes. You even eventually learn how to take showers again :) Rememver the adjustment you first went through with Archer?....it's like that, but easier because now you have a little bit of an idea as to what you're doing.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Steph — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:47:31 GMT

Congrats on the step towards multiple parenthood! I myself am pregnant with #2, due in May- my first is going to be 4 in January- so they'll have the exact same age spread as Archer and your #2. And, I just wanted to say thanks for the honesty here- I am tooooootally freaking out over being the MOTHER. OF. TWO. I mean, I just started getting sleep again, and now I gotta start all over?? My man and I were in Target yesterday, and I almost broke out in hives looking at the baby strollers, and the cribs, and the baby clothes. I just gave away six bags of baby clothes! We just stopped buying diapers! It feels totally overwhelming. But, then I hear Ella in her room pretending she's holding a baby, or talking about her "little brother in mommy's tummy", and I soften up a bit. And, remembering how completely unprepared I was for her, and how I can pretty much handle anything now (with a hot bath and a glass of wine...), and it doesn't seem too daunting. You're gonna be fine, and just like when Archer arrived, you're gonna forget how you ever survived without both of them...

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

Jen — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:40:06 GMT

I wanted to try getting pregnant the second we finalized the adoption of our son (he was about one and a half at the time) but my husband was a lot more cautious. We waited and now we have an age gap of nearly 5 and a half years between kids. Lots of people warned us that it would be a problem but so far it's been awesome. He's 7 and she's 2 and they are crazy about each other. I've never seen two kids who get along so well. I don't know if it will always be this way but right now I would say 5 years is the perfect amount of time between kids.

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

LogicalMama — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 18:21:15 GMT

Four or more years apart also means you won't have to put two kids through college at the same time-- now that's a serious bonus with the rising costs of education!! Having kids closer in age doesn't mean automatic buddies! You never know what you're gonna get and how they are going to get along.

My sister and I are four years apart. We shared a room growing up and were very different, fought a lot. Now, as adults, we are great friends! The same goes for my other sister (7 yrs apart) and my brothers (8 and 10 years apart)!

re: I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

jjlibra — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 02:17:23 GMT

good luck with your pregger plans. i have 3. the boy and girl are exactly ten days short of two years apart (girl is the oldest) and they hate eachother. no really- like HATE eachother. they made me whip out the "you'll feel bad for breaking my heart when i'm dead" line. it's that bad. then the youngest is 9 and 7 years younger than they are and they both love her. so no one ever knows how it will go. but i wouldn't give any of them back. well, not permanently. well...nah.