Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Expat Mom — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:37:19 GMT

I had only interns attending my first birth and they did a real hack job of my episiotomy (which I also told them I didn`t want) . . . and get this . . . I hadn`t even STARTED PUSHING YET! :S

Like you, I never fully recovered. But, the good news, with my second, I didn`t have the episiotomy and did tear, but even so I was actually able to sit down just fine like two days afterwards.It healed super fast. So while tear-free might be nice . . . tearing is WAY better than cutting.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

ouchygroucy — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:13:35 GMT

worse than female circumsion i believe but then again they saved my babys life soo i am not really mad at the ObGyn.who pisses me off is my Gp, after 2 years of going and complaining about back pain and pevic pain that nerly floors me i decided to be rebelious and go to the hospital without referal and insist to the gyno only to hear that my vag wall is falling and i have a retocele and perineal damage! I don't understand what this all means yet but all i know is that Gp in holland are the worst doctors in the world.If this fool just looked at the info they send after you give birth he might have seen the link between my pain and this form of genital mutilation..what i want to hear are the horror stories ,,genital prolaspe and about pain.I hav only one baby so i can't understand why this happen ed to me

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

tallgirl75@hotmail.com — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 01:20:42 GMT

I had an episotomy after some stretching and 2 hours of pushing with my first. I had a second opinion on how it was sewn up, and he did a good job. i healed and could wipe within a week.

With my second, he waited until i started to tear before giving me one. I really think it is the little tears (they were lateral) that hurt the worse the second time. My baby had a HUGE head the second time around too, so maybe that was the issue.

The old girl ain't what she used to be.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Jules — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:51:37 GMT

Avoid doctor directed pushing and you won't tear bad enough to mention, if at all. Check the Hypnobirthing method, it's a little hippy dippy, and you won't have a pain free birth as they say, but the methods work. I tore just a little bit in front as the baby turned on the way out. Just a few stitches. Doesn't work with an epidural though. Good luck with the birth! -J

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Wendy — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 19:53:51 GMT

DesignMama reminded me of a really helpful tip my midwife gave me: cut down on sugar and eat wheat free. It helps to reduce swelling in general, but especially in the pelvic region which can have a huge impact on not tearing.

And I think Courtney is absolutely right about the malpractice suits leading to more cutting and interventions in general. I had my baby in the UK where there is very little litigation and there is also a lot less medical intervention in birthing, plus a lot more midwife assisted births. Makes you think.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Kris — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:31:02 GMT

I had an one w/ first and second children....awful, painful, but not some of the horror stories my poor friends had. With last child, I was progressing so fast doctor didn't have time and I had a small tear.

What a breeze compared to the episiotomy. My husband couldn't believe I was practically dancing a jig just hours after the birth. I didn't even have to use the Dermaplast or as we call it Derma-blast!

My sister and bff had the same experience after having episiotomies w/ first births and tearing w/ their last.

Good luck!

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

kristin — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:01:19 GMT

two words...elective c-section! No way was I going to mess up my vag and future sex life for a natural delivery. I did have twins, so that made my decision easier. Too many of my nurses and docs said they would have an elective c bc of messing up the vag muscles. Yikes!

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

courtney — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:52:32 GMT

You know, and this is just speculation, but I wonder how many people get cut because Dr's are scarred of malpractice suits (I hear obgyn's are the most sued people withing the medical arena). It's sad that you can't trust a trained professional do their job (which is taking care of you and baby) better than worrying about protecting themselves. And yes there are lots of good caring Dr's but sadly I am not convinced that they aren't the minority now.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

DesignMama — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:39:32 GMT

I demanded to not get an episiotomy with my first (my OB thought I was crazy) but I tore horribly (3rd degree).

My second was smaller (I made sure to be more careful with my sugar intake the second time around) and I barely had a 2nd degree tear along the scar tissue from my old tear. This labor was also unmedicated, which helped me birth out my son slowly and more controlled (versus the vacuum extractor the first time around).

So yeah, I don't know what type of birth you have planned, but in case you are going the natural route, I recommend "Birthing from Within." It's pretty new-agey, but I figure you're already half-way granola if you end up reading it. I like it's take on childbirth -- it's painful, dirty, and can be noisy; here are the tools to deal with it.

Episiotomies are unnecessary and will do more damage than good. Imagine holding a piece of fabric taut, then snip into it with a pair of scissors. The fabric will end up tearing more easily, right? Docs just don't like sewing up the jaggies because it's more difficult and painstaking as opposed to a nice clean line. But it's your body, not theirs.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Courtney — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:15:06 GMT

Not speaking from first hand experience, but just throwing in another yes it can be done. My step sister was ready to plan a c section after her first birth because of the pain of having and healing from her epi. She gave birth to a larger boy the second time around, and did not need one. She too had a Dr with a less than stellar bedside manner the first time around (her Dr and his partner would take on call days so whoever was on call delivered). She got her Dr to sechedule induction so he could be on there for her 2nd, but she went into labor at 3 am the night before induction.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

katie — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:44:40 GMT

It may not be your thing, but I am planning on a water birth with midwives (at home). Much less tearing (if at all) and no doctors grabbing at me while I am going through the process. I can't even imagine a scalpel coming near my parts like that. We are running on me and the baby's time schedule...not the stupid knife-happy doctor's.

Search the internet for more info and YouTube has tons of videos. Just my two cents!

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

amber — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:52:11 GMT

oh. my. god. charlotte. who does that @#$%&^*! think he is!?!? first of all this is your birth, you are in charge. second of all that is the most racist, ignorant, ridiculous thing i've heard in a long time. run away from that dick of a doctor, please!! if you absolutely must deliver in that hospital (homebirth? birth centre? hospital further away?) please get yourself a couple of good doulas, you're going to need all the support you can get. *hugs*

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

charlotte — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:46:57 GMT

OMG, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes and my heart racing. You ladies have my bits scared to bits now ...

I spoke about this with my ob-gyn (sadly, there is only one hospital in our area that delivers babies and has a NICU--only one!!!), and he gave me the old "cut is better than tear" line, besides letting me know that if I "wanted to drop the kid like a Chinese rice patty worker" and bring it in later, that'd be okay with him, too. Of course, he said that he's the one in charge and I should follow his judgment. And now I'm really scared.

Will definitely get the epi-no and discuss the oil and stretching with the hubs. And maybe look for a different ob/gyn.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Wendy — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 20:38:02 GMT

Also, I forgot to say that in UK, it is considered common medical knowledge that a tear (which is jagged and can therefore knit together better) heals much more easily than an incision (which is straight). The practice of episiotomies seems to be purely for the convenience of doctors and has no discernible health benefits for mother or baby. It's a lot quicker and simpler for a doctor to cut the baby out and then sew up a straight cut rather than to wait for the natural process of birth to occur and then sew up a jagged tear.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Wendy — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 20:31:53 GMT

I agree with everything that Heather said. I prepared for the birth of my daughter with the hypnobirthing method which recommends perineal massage in the last few weeks before your due date. If you do nothing else, do this. I totally believe that the oils and the stretching not only softened the area, but prepared my body for what it would feel like for that area to stretch so much and not tear. N.B. Not to toot my own horn, or hoo-hoo, so to speak, but I was pretty darned tight once upon a time, so I was quite nervous about the whole human being shooting out of my cooch thing. The huz did the massage for me after sex, which I found to be the most comfortable time, because my body was more relaxed after I'd had my, ahem, jollies... And it was good to give the old huz an important pre-birth job to do other than assembling baby stuff. As for the aforementioned tightness, after just a couple of weeks of massage (which should involve both rubbing and stretching), I couldn't believe the progress in terms of how much stretching I was able to tolerate. Just goes to show that this shit works!

In the end, my baby was three weeks late and posterior (sunny side up) at birth, and I had her naturally at a birthing center in London with amazing midwives who never told me what to do and trusted my judgement. I pushed for three hours before my daughter was finally born on a birthing stool, and you know what? I didn't have a single tear. Not one. I think this was due to a combo of me being in an upright/squatting position (which has been proven to reduce tearing), the hypnobirthing technique of not pushing until the very end and then only with steady pushes, and most of all the perineal massage prep. My body already knew the feeling of stretching there so I wasn't afraid of it and I never tensed up. I think tensing up contributes a lot to tearing, as it does with other injuries.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. I absolutely believe that you can have the kind of natural birth you want, especially if you have the right kind of health care support around you, people who are both knowledgeable and willing to let you have the power in your birthing situation. I know this can be hard to come by in the US (this is why I had my baby in the UK), but if you look hard enough, you can find it. I think midwives are the way to go if you can find one who clicks with you and who's had a lot of experience.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Andi — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 19:03:38 GMT

I had an episiotomy with my son. I pushed & pushed but there was no way his big ole' head was going to come out. As soon as I had it he flew out without even a push. But I also had a Y shaped tear. I hurt so bad for so long. It was 6 months before my husband & I could have sex.

I know someone who tore to her rectum with her first & didn't tear at all with her 2nd. Her ob did perineal massage during labor- they brought a bottle of olive oil & a crock pot to the hospital & it worked.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Allison — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 01:11:49 GMT

I had a big ole' episiotimy with my first baby, so I was convinced I would tear or need another epis. with the second. Nope! My second baby came out (and my dr. made sure to take him out slowly so I wouldn't tear) and I didn't tear at all! I kept thanking my dr. for not letting me tear. There is hope sista!

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

tcumom — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:54:17 GMT

I would recommend going with a midwife. There are midwives out there that are part of ob practices and deliver at hospitals if you look enough. I switched to one at 30 weeks and I'm so glad I did. She's awesome for so many reasons including her really low rates of episitomies. She slows things down to give your body time to catch up, practices perineal massage, etc.

I ended up needing a c-section despite all of my midwife and doula's efforts (they tried tons of stuff to prevent one that an ob wouldn't have tried but it did no good) so I was glad my midwife was based at a hospital.

My husband was very dubious when I told him I wanted to swich at 30 weeks but after I switched and he met my midwife he told me he never wanted me to switch back to an ob.

Just so you know, a midwife can also handle most well woman care.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

EpiNo — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:58:34 GMT

I didn't have time to read through all the comments--ask and ye shall receive, eh?--but I recommend a thing called the Epi-No. It's basically a balloon that you inflate to stretch your perineum. The more you strech, the larger you are able to inflate it. It's really weird and terribly embarrassing when you have to ask your husband to help you with it becasue you can't see past your enormous belly, BUT it really works. Had an 8.11 baby who came out in 3 pushes, and needed only 2 small stiches. You should be able to get it at a cruchy birthing place. And I highly recommend Tucks pads. They are a lifesaver becasue even with minimal damage, I couldn't sit right for weeks, and it took a long time beore I felt more like myself again. Good luck!

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

minniemama68 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 02:43:32 GMT

Completely natural childbirth. Tearing requiring 7 stitches. Yeah it itched. And for years afterwards, I could feel where I had been stitched. It didn't bother me, but it was kindve strange.

I would take the other ladies recommendations in regards to the birthing ball and such and since you've made your case with your OB, I think you are well on your way to not having the dots connected so to speak. Although I have two other children, I ended up having c-sections with both of them, so I have nothing for ya. (although I can say, if that does happen-the c-it isn't the end of the world, I did fine with recovery after both.

May your labor be short and as pain free as possible.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

denise — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:16:27 GMT

First baby was 9lbs 3oz, three days of labor, 3 hours of pushing, 4th degree laceration, 2 1/2 hours of sewing to repair the damage done (husband stopped counting after 150 stitches). Total nightmare. Second baby, 10lbs, 3 hours total for labor, pushing, and delivery. 3rd degree laceration but only 50 stitches. Only difference, no episiotomy with second delivery because the doctor didn't have time to do one! I know 50 stitches sounds like a lot of stitches but the difference in healing was like night and day. 4 weeks as opposed to three months. And you know, for years afterward I could tell you when it was going to rain because of that scar!

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Marcy — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:55:03 GMT

With my first child I had an episiotomy and my doctor didn't even ask me whether I wanted one or not, because she considered them routine - but I healed very well within about 6 weeks - fast forward 3 years to my delivery with my 2nd child, I had a hospital birth with a midwife this time and they did not do routine epis. so they decided to see how things went, well my son was 9lb, 3oz and I tore really badly, they told me it was a 2nd deg. tear but I think it was more like 4th deg. it took forever until I was able to go to the bathroom without crying - I had to mentally prepare myself well in advance and sex and all that was weird for a while, so with my 3rd child I talked with my midwife in advance, because I wanted and epis. that time rather than having to heal from another bad tear. At the delivery they ended up giving me a small cut and very carefully stitched me back up and I healed completely in 4 weeks - I was so happy! (& so was my husband - right back to sex after 4 weeks and never a problem since.) I think you have a much more caring doctor this time around so I think that can make all the difference!

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

gj3smom — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:37:48 GMT

My son was 9 lbs. 10 oz. I was given an episiotomy - I don't actually remember getting it, but my husband told me later that they cut me from one end to the other. The stitching was done and I spent the next year having pain with sex, tampons, sneezing...the whole deal. I finally went to a new doctor who redid my episiotomy...removed some scar tissue and restiched. I've been happy ever since with NO problems. I'm now pregnant with my second and SERIOUSLY considering c-section just so I don't have to go through that again...somehow I imagine stiches across your belly as easier to deal with then stiches down below. Call me crazy!

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

Candes — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:59:58 GMT

Wow, there are some stories here.

I was probably a candidate for an E. I had the raw pleasure of tearing in a "C," a second degree tear. I lost a lot of blood and gained a lot of stitches. As my OB put it, "Labor wasn't good to you."

DERMAPLAST was my friend, that and a squeeze bottle of warm water. Recovery was horrible.

re: Episiotomy: A Vagina's Lament

cst — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 23:15:10 GMT

I had my girl 11 days ago. She was 9 pounds, 1 ounce, but I delivered at a midwifery center, so an episiotomy was never even mentioned. Also, despite not having an epidural, I didn't feel my second-degree tear happening in the least. It hurt afterward, absolutely, but a donut pillow did the trick for the five or so days it took to stop aching. After several stitches and fewer than two weeks, I'm completely healed. So here's another vote for risking a tear!