Straight from the Bottle - All Comments

re: Hair Today

Suzanne — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:52:12 GMT

He's adorable. Word of warning though.... my son decided he wanted to grow his hair longer in 8th grade. I wasn't particularly worried and just said, "Ok, as long as you keep it neat"... which he has. Well, now... it's 4 years later, he still keeps it relatively long-ish (shoulder) and he's having a hell of a time finding a job. Dressed neat, clean hair, clean shaven... it still gives the impression that he's a 'rebel'.

I did suggest he think about cutting it a little shorter, he's not thrilled, but mom's money bank is running dry & he needs employment. lol

re: Hair Today

Shannon — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:41:53 GMT

Both of my boys have long hair and I like it that way. They look cute. We recently moved to hickville and someone comments on it every day. I have no idea why strangers think it is any of their business? We do trim it when they can't see though because our ped recommended it when Eli had recurrent conjunctivitis. Caleb loves his long hair, but has gotten used to the trims because he trusts that we aren't going to chop it all off.

I think it is important to give kids some control over their lives, it makes the battles over the necessary stuff so much easier. I let them pick their own clothes every day even when the color combos nearly blind me, they comb their own hair, and remember to brush their teeth and ask for their vitamins when I forget. A little independence, freedom, and self sufficiency is a GOOD thing.

re: Hair Today

Valerie — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:40:40 GMT

Wow, who knew bangs could cause such drama?

I totally agree with the "pick your battles" comment. From what I've read here and on GCC, Archer is a bright, sensitive, and kind young man, and that's what's important. What his hair looks like shouldn't make one bit of difference.

re: Hair Today

Pam — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:12:46 GMT

Wow! Alix needs a chill pill yo! Anyway, my boy likes his locks long too. I was wondering what totally cool drag race strip does Arch man have there? I LOVE it! Can you create the tack?is it flexible? Where do I get one for my little can't see shit his hair is so long little guy?

re: Hair Today

Girlsgonechild — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:55:57 GMT

Wow! Controversy! The funny thing is? I'm always surprised what ends up being controversial. Apparently this is one of those posts?

I'm not going to argue with angry people who think I'm too lenient because that's just silly. You don't know me or my children whatsoever so its moot. You know what you read here and on GGC and judge by the stories I think are interesting/funny/ridiculous enough to write about and that's fine with me.

I'm incredibly secure with my ability to parent and my kid's an incredible well-adjusted respectable, well-mannered bad-ass who understands and respects the rules that are worthy of abiding.

Video games? Not allowed in our house.

Treats before dinner? Hell no.

Talking back? Automatic timeout.

Hair? I could give two fucks.

The end.

re: Hair Today

Mrs. Cookie — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:12:17 GMT

Oh, come on, Alix! Get over yourself. Nowhere has Rebecca said or done anything that makes it seem she sets NO limits. When a child's safety, well being, or moral character are in jeopardy, I have no doubt she would step in with boundaries. But it's HAIR, for crying out loud. I'm a teacher so I have some experience with kids whose parents run the spectrum from best friends to drill sergeants and I have to say, it's the parents somewhere in between who allow their children some individuality and autonomy that wind up with the least rebellious, happiest, most congenial kids of them all. Parents who dictate every tiniest thing are just begging for rebellious kids who make poor choices to spite the parents and for bad relationships once the kids are adults. It's not like Rebecca is letting Archer play in the streets alone at night because he feels like it. It's not like she's allowing him to eat sugar every day and then not brush if he doesn't feel like it. It's hair. I repeat. It's hair. What's the big freaking deal?

re: Hair Today

Candace — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:06:22 GMT

We just had this discussion at my house. Me: "When can we cut that hair?" My five-year-old: "In a thousand years. After that, every day."

Seriously Alix, what the hell? What makes a parent want to be that overbearing and controlling?

re: Hair Today

jessica — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:59:45 GMT

i understand the critics. i get where they are coming from but i see your point as well and i also think that this isn't a big deal to you. if you truly believed he "needed" a haircut for safety or hygiene you'd make him get one. the fact is that you aren't about that which is why he feels comfortable telling you no and why you feel comfortable saying okay when he says no (in this matter) so who cares?

there is a difference between expressing yourself and being bratty and i don't think he's being bratty and that's what the critics aren't getting.

re: Hair Today

Karla — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:54:03 GMT

It isn't square or uptight to consider that there are certain arenas in life when it is respectful to be neatly groomed--even at 4 years old. School is one arena. I'd let him grow his hair or braid it or shave it over the summers but come school time, neat is respectful. All of this nonsense about him having a strong sense of self is nonsense....he is FOUR!!! He's testing plain and simple.

re: Hair Today

Danielle — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:31:21 GMT

I agree with Alix to some degree. Children should not be treated as equals, they should be treated like children. Once they are 18 and adults, that's a different story. This being said, children should not always have the finaly say, so hopefully Archer doesn't get to have his way with everything.

re: Hair Today

irene — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:17:54 GMT

You might want to offer just to trim the front so that he can see better, growing out bangs is THE WORST, it tickles!

re: Hair Today

Shana — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:10:12 GMT

Okay, what is the MATTER with you? Not going to school would be harmful, in that it would adversely affect his education. Not going to the dentist = dental problems. What is long hair hurting? (And when did Rebecca ever say that she took her position to be "fun?" She clearly feels that this IS what's best for him, and who died and made you the sole arbiter of What's Good for Children? Or what Parenting is About?) If you've read for any length of time, you know that he eats healthily and does have limits -- just not the ones that you'd set with an iron fist.

You, Alix, are one of the nosy, judgmental, sanctimonious mothers that drive normal mothers crazy. Holy crap, dude.

re: Hair Today

Chandra Endel — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:07:27 GMT

Good for you! Archer's spirit is strong and he knows who he is. Besides, where do you think he got it from?!!!! Congrats on such a great kid(s)!

re: Hair Today

Keri — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:19:07 GMT

Umm, Alix...? Go F yourself. I'm sorry but I'm sick of the bullying. Yes, parents bully their kids to do things that they want the kids to do. And IMHO, that is WRONG. No wonder kids today are bullies and are out of control. It's because of how the parents treat them-with absolutely NO respect. Children should be treated like equals. Would you force your adult best friend to go to the barber and hold him down as the barber shaves his head??? Hell no! So why do we treat our kids that way? No wonder they don't respect us. Bec is doing the right thing, letting Archer be his own person and not break his spirit. I only wish more parents were like her. You rock, Bec and Archer! =D

re: Hair Today

Alix — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:09:32 GMT

He's what? Four? And you've already lost control. Pretty soon he's going to look like Cousin It from the Addams Family. This is what comes from refusing to take responsibility and step up and parent. Parenting isn't only about dressing your kids up in cute clothes and playing with them it's about enforcing bedtime, making sure the kids eat a healthy diet and setting limits.

What are you going to do when he doesn't want to go to school? Or go to the dentist? It's not all finger painting and playing dress up. it's hard being a parent and sometimes your kids hate you but you do the mature thing and keep them healthy and safe. I'm sure his teachers aren't thrilled with him hiding behind his hair. If he can't see he's going to fall off his bike or fall down the stairs. Are you so invested in being a "fun" mommy that you can't risk making your child angry to do what's best for him?

Yes, you should take him for a trim to get the hair out of his eyes. Good children's barbers know how to deal with thrashing, crying kids. If you had had his hair trimmed routinely as a baby this would be no big deal but now he's digging in his heels and you're clueless about what to do next.

re: Hair Today

Stacy — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:07:28 GMT

Rebecca, I just want to say that I think you're a really great mom. You inspire me.

re: Hair Today

elismsue — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:01:47 GMT

Been there, done that...from hair growing out, ponytails to Jamaican braids with beads. He was voted king of his prom while in ponytail. It's been white, yellow, orange and red. He is naturally a brunette. We approached the hair issue like the earring in the ears issue. When he doesn't like it anymore, it will be cut and it will be taken out.

Now 31, he is married, has a son and no earring or ponytail.

These are really only some issues of showing individuality and independence. Ones that are easily "fixed" when they are ready.

re: Hair Today

jaelithe — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:01:13 GMT

My son has the same attitude about his hair and I would TOTALLY let him grow it long . . .

IF he had not inherited his father's tendency for random corkscrew cowlicks coupled with a mixture of totally straight pieces and pieces with giant unruly 90-degree-turn waves. Once his hair gets past a certain length, it's like Harry Potter hair on steroids. It looks fine short and I keep thinking it would look nice long if he could get it to shoulder length, but once it gets past his ears parts of it literally start sticking out at right angles.

So I cut it, and then I feel all guilty like I'm caving into gender stereotypes and the Unsolicited Admonitions of Squares. But it's really just my desire to not have to spend an hour in the morning trying to make my kid's hair look presentable.

re: Hair Today

steph — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:48:52 GMT

Change "needs a haircut" to "needs to tuck in her undershirt" (my 13 yo leaves her undershirt showing out the bottom of her top) and this is the same conversation I have with my MIL everyday.

re: Hair Today

Amie Simmons — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:49:44 GMT

you're a good mommy.

re: Hair Today

Marie Eve — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:57:07 GMT

Seriously his hair isn't that long, and he looks great (and it's all part of his Britpop icon persona).

As long as you have him cut it before it grows into the sheer ridiculousness -like, ankle length- that is Celine Dion's son though. But that's in a *large number of years*.

re: Hair Today

Bec — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:48:41 GMT

He's gorgeous and confident and firm in his convictions. Why would anyone want to change him? Who is the jerk pressuring you like that?

re: Hair Today

Mommy Lisa — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:02:52 GMT

SOOOO agree. Hair can be cut, not cut, colored purple. I stated YEARS ago to my husband when his ex fought their daughter over purple highlights that I DO NOT CARE what our child ever does to her hair. She can shave it all of and I won't care...unless she shaves it for a cult. THEN, I would care.

re: Hair Today

ping — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:25:08 GMT

you have an amazing headstrong boy and from someone who has an amazing headstrong girl, you wouldn't have them any other way! this is not worth the fight. he knows who he is and that is awesome...sometimes frustrating...sometimes infuriating but overall awesome!

re: Hair Today

Tina — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:08:23 GMT

Love it! I get comments all that time that my tot needs a cut. He's two, so for now, it's really my say, but even when I do get it cut I hover around making sure they don't cut off too much. I like it shaggy and a bit long. Until he says "Mama...I just want the standard issue boy cut" this is the way it will be. I think part of it is sentiment...when he was born he had this head full of black long hair. It stood straight up and I could immediately see his 2 cowlicks that are just like mine. Even during his last sonogram the tech was all "whoah...look at all that hair!" it was swirling around...Anyway, love lil boys with long hair! Go Archer!