Straight from the Bottle : speech therapy

An Update on the Huge Head Incident of '09

GirlsGoneChild — Sun, 31 May 2009 04:52:00 GMT

I just realized I have yet to divulge the information gathered at Fable's "head-check" last week during which she was weighed, measured and re-measured my make sure she didn't need further tests for having an abnormally large head. It turns out that because her length and weight were equally as off the charts as her head size she was well-proportioned and no cause for concern, which "duh" of course she was but it left me wondering what would have happened if it wasn't? Tests? Cat-scans? Helmets? Me being worried for (most likely) no reason?

Fable Luella: 8 months and 23 pounds of pure gorgeous perfection.

The various charts and graphs and "this is normal" vs. "this is abnormal" make me feel poopy in the tummy. Anxious. Annoyed. Uncomfortable. Worried. Even angry. I realize the importance of taking measurements and weighing our babies but the whole "off the charts," "below average," "you should worry because your child is too small or too big or too this or too that etc" can be enough to give a parent a complex for life.

With Archer it had little to do with physical attributes (he was always tall but never off the charts). He was a late bloomer from the get. Crawling at 13 months and walking at 17 months, which was "slightly worrisome" to the pediatrician. It wasn't until we went in for his two-year-check-up that our doctor handed us red flags and told us to start waving them. He wasn't talking yet. Not even a little bit. He was late. He needed help. It was time to have him tested. So we did. Specialists and therapists and early interventionists OH MY!

Archer was fine, of course. He was just late to talk. Late to walk. Late to everything. He was a late bloomer who blossomed beautifully on his own in due time and yet two of his four years of life were spent under the eyes and ears of doctors and family members who "worried" about him.

Fable's already "ahead of schedule" re: many of her milestones. But also "behind" on others. She's been waving "hi" and "bye" for several weeks but isn't crawling yet. She can mimic sounds including "Hi" but won't take a sippy cup. And she's huge. Off the charts now with weight and height to match her giant head. She's the size of most children twice her age and that's the way she is. She's her own girl just like Archer was his own boy, God bless 'em.

Being "below average" or "less than" or "different than" is difficult for many parents if not all of us and at some point every parent deals with "it" in some form because no child is average and that's the beauty of life, of being a parent and being a child and being a human being. And yet the system is set up for "normal" and "average" to be words that relieve us, even excite us because status quo = an 82% success rate according to 92% of charts and 89% of graphs or whatever blah blah blah.

The thing is? Some children are "ahead of schedule" while some children are "behind what is average." Some kids must be tested for being "too big" while others cause worry because they're "too small" but no matter who says what, and no matter the matter, every child is juuuuust right.

Right?

Right.

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Throwing Speech Therapy Out With...

GirlsGoneChild — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 03:06:00 GMT

Last week we decided to pull Archer out of speech therapy, mainly because in the last six-months of speech therapy, no one has done their job well. We went through four therapists all of whom flaked on us half the time. I haven't decided who I want to blame. Regional Center or the therapists themselves. At first we had the speech therapists coming to us. But like I said before, only a fraction of the time did the therapist actually show. Traffic was always sooooo bad. Maybe next week!

Because of our issues with flaky at-home therapists we decided to go into an actual office once a week but the flakiness continued. Several times not even an hour before our appointment, I was called and canceled on. And when we weren't (canceled on) the therapists seemed to have no idea what they were doing.

Archer es muy frustrado. His mama tambien.

"How's he doing?" I asked after our last session.

The therapist just shrugged and giggled. "He's doing fine," she said.

Uh... and?

Ironically, our speech therapists seemed unable to articulate what was going on with Archer's progress. No "he's getting stronger ever week!" or "Sorry, sister. Outlook not good." Just smiles and shrugs and "see you next week!"

Honestly, I really wanted to be open to speech therapy. Lordy knows Archer needed it. He still needs it. He's making progress of course but still has major speech-issues. He's about a year-and-a-half behind, we think, which is cool, but help is surely necessary at this point.

The final straw came last week when after three weeks of being flaked on, we were flaked on a grand total of four times in a row. Deservedly pissed off, Hal called to cancel therapy for good. We decided to instead put Archer in school five days a week. Because preschool doesn't call and cancel an hour before it starts and anyway, school seems to be working FAR MORE than speech therapy ever did.

Come on, Mom. Let's blow this popsicle stand...

Right about now I'm feeling pretty bad about Los Angeles' state-funded speech therapy (can you tell?). I really wanted to give it a chance but frankly it's been nothing but a waste of time for all of us. If we could afford to hire a private therapist I would do so but alas, we must depend on state-funded intervention and apparently, you get what you pay for 'round these here parts.

So preschool five days a week is Archer's only speech therapy. He sings songs. He paints pictures. He attempts to communicate with the boys and girls in his class and he's happy.

I couldn't be prouder of the progress Archer has made. Progress that hasn't been interrupted by flaky incompetents who cannot even make eye-contact with a concerned parent and/or do his/her job. Free preschool has been the silver lining of this whole experience. We love Archer's school and feel very lucky to have the support and aid of his teachers who have been nothing but patient with Archer and his delays.

It's hard enough for a parent to acknowledge that his/her child needs professional assistance. Harder yet when professional assistance isn't at all professional. Oy to the ARGH.

So no more speech therapy for us. Not unless we decide to hire someone out of pocket who will actually show up and you know, therapize.

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Appearance Update:

Los Angeles: Book Soup (this) Saturday April 5th, 5pm

San Diego: Borders Carlsbad Wednesday April 9th, 7pm

for more appearance dates/times click here.

He Can Read! Music!

GirlsGoneChild — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 04:34:00 GMT

No, really. My kid may be a few years behind as far as speech is concerned but who needs words when you have music? Archer's taken to sitting down with Hal's music books and just... reading. Humming along as he goes. Ch-check it:

Okay, okay, so he isn't *really* reading the music. But it's still cute and makes me wonder at what age music lessons are most common. Hal and I both played piano as children. I guess it's probably way too early (Archer turns 3 end of May) but the kid has been interested in music since the beginning. In fact, he can speak almost perfectly when in song. (If life was a musical, there's a good chance Archer wouldn't be so slow to the language scene.)

I can't help but wonder if perhaps music classes will help his speech. It kind of makes sense. Archer's confident when it comes to music. He responds to melodies in a unique way. (I think?) Does one nurture such passion, even at this early age or is it more appropriate to shoot mini-movies and gush over them on the internet?

I have no idea. Do you?

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Early Intervention: An (Annoyed) Update

GirlsGoneChild — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 04:46:00 GMT

I haven't really posted since my rainbowy gumdrop post two months ago when I praised our speech therapist and wrote about how much we all loved her and wanted to marry her and blah-blah. And I meant it. She was really great. When she showed up. It seems that, although Early Intervention was eager to "intervene" and send all kinds of specialists our way at first, they sort of half-assed the follow-up situation. Our speech therapist showed up about 25% of the time, calling in an hour after we expected her with all kinds of excuses why she couldn't make it. And that was just the first month. It's been three weeks since we had any communication with our therapist at all. Uh... Hello? Earth to speech therapist! Come in speech therapist.

Waiting for Godot, er, Go Dog Go, a favorite read/activity with our MIA Speech Therapist

Fortunately Archer has been talking quite a bit on his own so although he doesn't really *need* a speech therapist, I do think it would be helpful to have somebody working with him besides Hal and I. I guess it's kind of like wanting what I can't have. When therapy was thrust upon us forcefully I wanted nothing to do with it but now that we've been totally brushed-off and ignored by the system I'm kind of pissed. And a little bit psycho ex-girlfriend with the whole situation: What's wrong with us? Are we not good enough for you? Why don't you call? Why don't you like us? WE LOOOOVE YOU. Wah-sniff!

Archer, being two and a half has six months left of free therapy until he turns three and we gotta start payin' up so I'd like to figure this all out, like, now. But certain *ahem* people don't have the same time sensitivity. I will say this: One of the awesome things about Early Intervention is that you get free preschool out of the deal. So Archer starts school beginning of January free of charge. Cool, right? So I guess I can't really bitch *that* much. Preschool is expensive, man! Crazy expensive. $860.00 a month and that's for the cheap schools! "Oy to the vey", I say!

Anyway... This post is kind of an inquiry for those of you who have dealt with and/or work for any Early Intervention type services. Is this standard practice or are we the anomaly, here? I want to support Early Intervention. I really do, because I think it's great that it exists for families who need some extra assistance but come on, people. You're not making it easy on me to support a system that has thrown us for a loop when it seems like a relatively straight-forward situation. Archer is approved for Speech Therapy. We are assigned a speech therapist. And not even one month later... Dead air. Nothing. I feel so used.

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On the First Day of Speech Therapy, Archer's Speech Therapist Gave to Me...

GirlsGoneChild — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 04:25:00 GMT

It's pretty amazing how long it took to finally get a speech therapist over here. Early Intervention may have been quick to throw assessors our way, but it's taken almost four months to get started with speech therapy. Four months, a thousand phone calls and one accidental appointment for physical therapy.

"But we're here for speech therapy."

"No, you're not."

"Um... yes we are?"

Anyway, moving on...

Today was the day-- the moment of truth. I cleaned the house, watched the clock and finally waited like a dog in the window, with Archer who's newly obsessed with waving at people, both real and invisible. We waited for her to appear, smiling, genuine, cool, exactly what our previous "assessment coordinators" were not. In short, she was lovely. A delight. I was happy to welcome her into our home.

She didn't do much besides talk to Archer and to me. Ask us both questions. Give us the whole shpeal on what to expect in the weeks and maybe months ahead. Two days a week of playtime. And activities. And lots of books. Positive reinforcement and games for all!

Archer loved her and so did I. And a sigh of relief was heard throughout the land. My previous angst disappeared and as Archer and I showed her the door and waved "bye! bye!" out the window, I found myself sad to see her go and excited to get down to business on Thursday

On the first day of speech therapy, Archer's speech therapist gave to me...~~A partridge in a pear tree~~ peace of mind. Awesome.

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