On the Eve of Knowing

GirlsGoneChild — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:27:00 GMT

*UPDATED BELOW*

I'm closing in on nineteen-weeks pregnant which means, tomorrow, during my ultrasound I will most likely find out the sex of my baby. I am not one for surprises. I have no patience in this life and can't help but obsess over ALL of life's little question-marks so, ho-HO! The sex I will know.

"Do you have a preference," people often ask, which is one of those questions that makes me very uncomfortable, mainly because I don't know what I'm having yet. And I kind of just want to have whatever I'm having, you know? I prefer whatever is.

"I'd like a boy or a girl," I usually say. And I would, both for very different reasons.

When I was pregnant with Archer I absolutely had a preference. I wanted a son. I couldn't imagine myself mothering anything but boys, probably because socially I always felt more comfortable with boys and in a way, the thought of having a daughter scared me. In my experience, girls are, uh... more difficult than boys. I feel like I would have a hard time controlling a daughter mainly because I'm stll having a hard time trying to control my self.

This pregnancy all my dreams have been daughter dreams, which doesn't exactly gel with my doctor's prediction that I'm pregnant with another boy. My 12-week ultrasound my doctor said he thought he might have seen a penis. He even said he was "80% sure you are having a boy" but for whatever reason, in every one of my dreams: girl. So now I'm just feeling very confused. I have no clue what this baby is. My subconscious, obviously thinks girl. My practical-self believes the doc and is going with boy. Tomorrow, of course, I'll know for sure.

The last several weeks I've spent with friends who have daughters. I've helped their little girls get dressed. Played with their hair. Read them stories. And kind of in a way, hoped that maybe one day I could have that, too. That mother-daughter, girl on girl, slumber-party-in-barrettes thing. I honestly, for once saw myself mothering a daughter and being, well, not so bad at it.

Reading books with BMC's Foo in Portland

This is not to say I'd be absolutely tickled by having all boys. (We're planning on stopping after two. Er, at least I am. Hal wants, like, a thousand kids. Uh, yeah right, dude.) I get giddy at the thought of brothers rolling around in the dirt, playing kick-the-can, racing each other on skateboards. Not to mention them not hating me in highschool (or at least not HATING hating me.)

But for once, I'm not afraid of the alternative. Which means that maybe in a way, I'm growing up-ish.

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Guess the baby's sex, below! I will pick one winner at random and send you a signed copy of my new book, Rockabye: From Wild to Child. All I need from you is to place your guess in the comments and link me to where you can be reached by email. Stay tuned for tomorrow's update and chosen winner! Good luck!

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UPDATE: In classic true-to-life form, I do not have an answer. The doctor did say he was almost 100% percent postive I was having a girl, but I cannot trust an "almost" (especially after the 80% sure it's a boy prediction last ultrasound and uh.... well...) so I will wait until the next (more high-tech) ultrasound where I have actual photos of genitals and proof positive. Even so, I was shocked to hear "girl"... Shocked. And maybe I'm still a little shocked and that's why I want to absolutely certain before I start shopping for vintage sailor dresses and gingham bonnets and such. HOWEVER! To be fair, I will be choosing one "It's a boy" voter AND one "It's a girl voter," sending both picked-at-random winners a book and a GGC mix CD. I will be emailing both winners later this afternoon. Thank you all so much for playing and stay-tuned, for some photographic evidence and hopefully, an accurate call on le sex of le baby!

Congratulations to Lisa L. and Heather V. for winning GGC Mx-CD's and a signed copy of Rockabye. Rad of you all to participate! Stay tuned for more fun contest-like drawing-things!

Straight from the Bottle : name the sex

On the Eve of Knowing