Straight From the Bottle

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  • Another. Someday.

    When Archer was born, I knew he wasn't going to be an only child. I knew this because we didn't want him to be an only child, because if we were going to have one child we were going to have two. That was the rule. Hell! I couldn't even have one dog without feeling like I was depriving him of a playmate. After having my dog, Cooper for four-months, I found him a sibling. And when Archer was 3.5, Fable was born. 

     

     

    I always knew I wanted two kids. I never even thought to want more. I figured that regardless of their sex, two would be plenty of children for us. My entire pregnancy with Fable I kept thinking, it would be my last. The last time I'd ever be pregnant. The last time I'd ever give birth. Enjoy these last few months. Savor the suspense, revel in the excitement and the sweetness of newborn toes...

     

    Feet

     

    And that I did. I moped and whined and begged Fable to stay a baby because she was "our last." I recorded my pregnancy with photos and wrote tediously about my experience but then Fable was born and my second thought after: holy fuck, I love this girl more than I ever thought I could ever ...  was: holy fuck, we're not done. We're not all here. The feeling was so overwhelming to me, I almost felt guilty. How could I possibly be thinking of another child right now? There is a newborn baby in my arms and she's mine!

     

    But the truth is that I did...

     

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  • Keeping Archer's Marbles Away From Fable's Mouth

     

    Today I caught Archer playing with his marbles at Fable's feet as she grasped for them with her chubby little hands. In .05 seconds I leapt on Archer, tackling him to the ground. 

     

    "I told you not to play with your marbles anywhere even close to Fable's vicinity!"

     

    "Because Fable could choke on the marbles and die, right Mommy?"

     

    "Um... What?"

     

    "Because Fable could swallow a marble and it would choke and die and then it wouldn't be very nice at all."

     

    "Um... Yes? Yes. So... Please don't do that anymore."

     

    "Yeah. Because it's NOT NICE!"

     

    Archer spent the rest of the afternoon playing marbles on the other side of the living room as Fable kicked her little legs against her bouncy seat. But it got me thinking, wondering what I'm going to do when Fable is old enough to crawl. I never childproofed the house when Archer was a baby because I didn't really need to. Because he didn't really care to try to get into anything and plus, nothing of mine was really of interest. Nothing besides my shoes and tampons (great toy, very useful) and it wasn't like he was going to choke on those. Fable on the other hand is a second child and second children, I'm finding, want nothing more than to get all up in their big brothers' bidnis.


    tea partier

    Hooray for Archer's stuff! And while we're at it, hooray for tea parties! And leg warmers! And cute headbands and flowers and wonderfulness!

     

    "At some point you're probably going to have to take away Archer's marbles," my mom said to me months ago, during a mother/daughter marble shopping-spree. (It's amazing how HARD it is to find marbles these days and how easy it is to find dolls that talk. So backwards and lame.)

     

    "Yeah. I'll just take them away when she's crawling and stuff," I agreed and left it at that. 

     

    Taking away Archer's marbles seemed like a perfectly logical, obvious sollution until Archer's marbles became his greatest love and now I'm fucked. Because how the hell can I take away my darling son's greatest love? I mean... I can't. Can I...?

     

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About the Blogger

rebecca woolf

Rebecca Woolf in LA

Who says becoming a mom means succumbing to laser tattoo removal and moving to the suburbs? This young writer and mother of two gives it to you Straight From the Bottle.

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