When Archer was born, I knew he wasn't going to be an only child. I
knew this because we didn't want him to be an only child, because if we
were going to have one child we were going to have two. That was the
rule. Hell! I couldn't even have one dog without feeling like I was
depriving him of a playmate. After having my dog, Cooper for
four-months, I found him a sibling. And when Archer was 3.5, Fable was
born.
I always knew I wanted two kids. I never even thought to
want more. I figured that regardless of their sex, two would be plenty
of children for us. My entire pregnancy with Fable I kept thinking, it
would be my last. The last time I'd ever be pregnant. The last time I'd
ever give birth. Enjoy these last few months. Savor the suspense, revel in the excitement and the sweetness of newborn toes...
And
that I did. I moped and whined and begged Fable to stay a baby because
she was "our last." I recorded my pregnancy with photos and wrote
tediously about my experience but then Fable was born and my second
thought after: holy fuck, I love this girl more than I ever thought I could ever ... was: holy fuck, we're not done. We're not all here. The feeling was so overwhelming to me, I almost felt guilty. How could I possibly be thinking of another child right now? There is a newborn baby in my arms and she's mine!
But the truth is that I did...
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