I recently twittered something
to the extent of "all my kid will eat is macaroni and cheese" to which
someone @ed me something along the lines of "that's because you're a
sucky mom who gives in to your kid's demands and doesn't force feed him
chard!" to which I blocked said person because Hi. Who publicly
twitters that shit? Uh... duh.
The truth of the matter
is this: my son is a damn picky eater and I've tried everything and now
I give up because I refuse to... well, force feed him chard. (I don't
believe in forcing children to eat. I think its wrong and causes eating
disorders because, frankly, it is and it does.)
Archer
didn't always only eat macaroni and cheese. I'm a health food junkie
vegetarian who lives on quinoa, lentils and vegetables and once upon a
time I fixed for Archer all of the things I cooked for Hal and myself
with little complaints. In fact, anytime someone complained about their
child's awful eating habits, I smiled to myself, thinking "my kid's so
badass he eats avocado sandwiches for lunch and teriyaki tofu for
dinner and prefers berries over chocolate chip cookies." Of course,
when Archer turned three, everything changed. All green items (except
for the occasional avocado) went out the window. Archer swore of
grains, nuts, and all vegetable-based meals, demanding cheerios and
toast ONLY! (Foods he ate for breakfast but never for lunch or dinner.)
"No, dude. Those are breakfast foods."
But he was like, "whatever, mom. I won't eat then."
That's
when the (organic! all natural!) macaroni and cheese came into our
lives. And the fish sticks, which are for the time being the only
dinners Archer will touch. (The occasional scrambled egg as well if I'm
lucky.) I've tried mixing cauliflower in with his mac and cheese. That
didn't work. Yogurt in with his eggs. That didn't work either, so we're
back to square one.
Of course, lunch is another story
and Archer goes through phases where he downs pistachios, happily
snacks on apples and flaxseed crackers and his favorite: pepper jack
yogurt cheese. We go out for smoothies at least three times a week
(after school) where Archer enjoys an Acai smoothie (the only flavor he
will drink) with a shot of wheat grass mixed in (this was my mom's
GENIUS idea and is currently the only way to get him to eat his
vegetables.) He even eats the occasional avocado when he's REALLY
living dangerously but for the most part his dinners consist of either
fishsticks and/or macaroni and cheese. And have done so for the past
nine-months.
I
realize this is quite common but it still makes me a little sad.
Especially the whole no vegetable thing. Mainly because I worship
vegetables. I attend Vegetable Church on Sundays! And all my son cares
about are THOSE SATANIC CARBS! AHHHHHHHH!!!!...
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