Straight From the Bottle

Browse by Tags

(RSS)
  • The Battle of the Middle Names

     

    When Hal and I finally decided on the first name of our unborn baby girl, I was relieved. Especially because the name was my idea, and wasn't something Hal (or anyone else for that matter) would have figured to be a name at all. The name grew on him like a weed and pretty soon, there wasn't a doubt in either of our minds that it was the right name. It felt right much like Archer did. Her middle name? Well, that's a whole 'notha story.

     

    There were two middle names I loved. Two middle names that I felt fit with the first name we decided on. Two middle names to honor two people I adored. 

     

    "Two middle names? No way! She's not having two middle names!"

     

    "But YES! She has to! It sounds so pretty! And the names totally flow!"

     

    "NO! Archer only has one middle name! Everyone only has ONE middle name."

     

    "Nu-uh. Lots of people have two middle names. OR TEN! It doesn't even matter anyway what everyone is doing. Jesus, Hal. What are you, some kind of lemming?"

     

    "Two middle names sounds pretentious."

     

    "Classic, you mean. Elegant and classic."

     

    "You're insane."

     

    "Pleeeeeeeaaaaseeeeee???"

     

    "No! You already chose the first name! No."

     

    Read More...


  • Eating Butter With Chopsticks

    Compromise is the key to every healthy relationship, including the relationships we must nurture and maintain with our offspring. Bedtime will never occur at 8pm sharp like we'd like it to. Sometimes baths take longer than ten minutes and green vegetables, if we're lucky will be eaten one out of every ten times they're served. One child's half-assedness is another parent's success story, so chin-up parental-peeps. It's going to be okay.

     

    If your kid decides he wants to eat a stick of butter for breakfast? Let him eat lard! So long as he does so on YOUR terms. For instance: Chopsticks! A child is never too young to learn how to eat pats of butter with chopsticks. Especially when in public restaurants in trendy neighborhoods.

     

     

    IMG_3889

     

    This way, when a restaurant patron gives you the evil eye for letting your child devour butter, he will also be giving you an impressed nod when he notices that your child is eating butter with-- could it be? Yes! Indeed it can be!-- CHOPSTICKS!

     

     

    Read More...



in

About the Blogger

rebecca woolf

Rebecca Woolf in LA

Who says becoming a mom means succumbing to laser tattoo removal and moving to the suburbs? This young writer and mother of two gives it to you Straight From the Bottle.

GROUP BLOGS

  • Strollerderby

    The smartest, funniest, most exhaustive parenting blog in the blogosphere.
  • Droolicious

    Modern design for modern parents.
  • FameCrawler

    Your daily baby celebrity fix.
back to blog homepage