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• On the Eve of Knowing

  *UPDATED BELOW* I'm closing in on nineteen-weeks pregnant which means, tomorrow, during my ultrasound I will most likely find out the sex of my baby. I am not one for surprises. I have no patience in this life and can't help but obsess over ALL of life's little question-marks so, ho-HO! The sex I will know.   "Do you have a preference," people often ask, which is one of those questions that makes me very uncomfortable, mainly because I don't know what I'm having yet. And I kind of just want to have whatever I'm having, you know? I prefer whatever is.   "I'd like a boy or a girl," I usually say. And I would, both for very different reasons.   When I was pregnant with Archer I absolutely had a preference. I wanted a son. I couldn't imagine myself mothering anything but boys, probably because socially I always felt more comfortable with boys and in a way, the thought of having a daughter scared me. In my experience, girls are, uh... more difficult than boys. I feel like I would have a hard time controlling a daughter mainly because I'm stll having a hard time trying to control my self.   This pregnancy all my dreams have been daughter dreams, which doesn't exactly gel with my doctor's prediction that I'm pregnant with another boy. My 12-week ultrasound my doctor said he thought he might have seen a penis. He even said he was "80% sure you are having a boy" but for whatever reason, in every one of my dreams: girl. So now I'm just feeling very confused. I have no clue what this baby is. My subconscious, obviously thinks girl. My practical-self believes the doc and is going with boy. Tomorrow, of course, I'll know for sure.   The last several weeks I've spent with friends who have daughters. I've helped their little girls get dressed. Played with their hair. Read them stories. And kind of in a way, hoped that maybe one day I could have that, too. That mother-daughter, girl on girl, slumber-party-in-barrettes thing. I honestly, for once saw myself mothering a daughter and being, well, not so bad at it.     Reading books with BMC's Foo in Portland   Read More... Posted May 08 2008, 12:27 PM by GirlsGoneChild with | with 135 comment(s) Filed under: baby #2, name the sex, not afraid of baby girls

• Bribing for Brotherhood

  "Hey, Archer. Guess what! There's a baby in Mommy's body!"   "Baby?"   "Yeah. Right in here. In my belly, see?   "No baby, Mommy."    "Yes, baby. Just really small baby right now. Grape-sized."   Archer flashes me his "what the hell kind of drugs you on, woman" face   "Do you want to have a baby?"   "No!"   "You don't want to have a little brother to wrestle with?"   "No!"   "Do you want a little sister to play with in the park? You can frolick and--"   "No!"   "You don't want a little friend to build forts with and draw on walls with and--?"   "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   "You know what? When you have a baby you get ice-cream. All you can eat ice-cream. And cookies."   "Ay-Keem? Yay! Ay-keem!!!! Yay!"   "So do you want to have a baby and cookies?"   "Yays!"   "Do you want to have a little brother to wrestle with and ice cream? "   "Yays! Ak-keem baby!"   "What about a baby sister to push on the swings and cookies?"   "YAYS! YAYS! OKAAAAAAAY. Coo-KIE COO-KIE. YAYS, MOMMY! YAYS! Wheredigo-Ak-keem-COOkie?"   So I'm really happy to report to all who've enquired that Archer can't wait to be a brother. And ice-cream. And cookies. And... yeah.    ***  Posted Feb 25 2008, 05:19 PM by GirlsGoneChild with | with 9 comment(s) Filed under: baby #2, ice cream, brotherhood

• I Know What We'll Do Next Summer

  Okay so about the whole second baby thing. We're kind of nowhere near ready. Then again, we weren't even close to being even a tiny bit next to nowhere near ready with Archer so maybe that doesn't matter so much.   That being said, we've decided after months and a cazillion hours of contemplation that next summer seems like a good time to remove the contraceptive and Whoop! There it is! ... Or if you will/ in the words of today's TTC** couples: we're going to "try"...   Archer turns three next May, so if all goes as "planned" Archer and #2 will be four years apart, which seems like a really big gap to me but there's no way in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks we can get me pregs any sooner. I would be a walking disaster-zone with all that's going on. Shit, I'm a walking disaster-zone, anyway.    (Archer as an only child.)     I've been weighing the pros and cons against my own childhood: my brother, David and I are 2.5 years apart and it was awesome for us as kids. We were BFF for years and even though we had a love-slump in High School we're OMG totally BFF! again, now that we're adult-ish people. My sister, Rachel and I have seven years between us which is a lot. And it kind of sucks because I never really got to know her like I wish I did. I moved out when she was eleven. There was very little borrowing of clothes or bonding over boys. And that would have been nice. To have that. I want Archer to have that. I want him to have a built-in BFF or at the very least, someone to bounce ideas off. Someone to talk shit about Hal and I with when we're acting lame and annoying and "Gosh! Our parents are such tools!"   That's important. To have that.     (Archer with "Emily," a doll we picked up at Rite Aid so we could sample life as a family of four. We're weird.)   Of course, I'm totally torn between wanting Archer to have a sibling close-ish in age and being waaaaay overwhelmed by the thought of having another kid...     Read More... Posted Nov 14 2007, 10:45 AM by GirlsGoneChild with | with 52 comment(s) Filed under: planning pregnancy, pregnancy, baby #2, siblings