(Ed: I'm hoping there won't be a volume two for obvious reasons.)
1. Itchy Toes:
My toes itch like crazy mofos these last few weeks. I'm convinced it's
because of the heat and the swelling in my ankles by the end of another
90-degree day but that's only because I have no idea about anything.
Plain and simple, it sucks. I can't even get my legs around one
revolution on the stationary bike without trying to itch my toes over
my New Balances. Flip-flops are pretty much a must after 4pm and by
10pm, I'm whining for Hal to itch my toes, which has to be one of his
least favorite hobbies ever. (Unless he has a foot fetish I don't know
about it.)
2. Sex Allergy: I hear stories all the
time about pregnancy being such a turn on to some women. How their sex
lives "heat up" the second the minute they start incubating babies. I
am not one of these people. I am normally a very horny, sex-starved
young twenty-something but knock me up? Knock the kink out of my veins.
My favorite sex positions are off limits. Everything is uncomfortable in there
and I feel the opposite of "sexy". Perhaps if I was one of those "let's
make love, lover," people, things would be different. Pregnancy is
beautiful and for some, sex is too. Not for me. The words "make love"
give me the hardcore heebies and slow, sensual, by candlelight sex has
never been my thing. Sex (IMO) should be dirty and crazy and exciting
and uh... lying on my side and sort of half-wiggling isn't really doing
it for me these days. Thankfully, my husband's a great sport and hasn't
given me one ounce of shit for being the "reluctant sex-partner" that
I've been these last few months. (Maybe that's why he's okay itching my
toes for an hour. That's about as much as he's getting these days.
(Unless you count the various hookers I've ordered for him while I'm
out of commission.)...
Read More...
