Okay, so I think I hate my IUD. I realize this is contrary, perhaps to my earlier posts about loving how easy …. loving that I have no period… loving that I don’t have to take a pill… etc, etc, etc..
Here’s why I changed my mind:
This week marks my one-year anniversary with my Mirena – the IUD with a leetle beet of hormone. Hormone my OB promised wouldn’t affect me at all. And I believed him. Even though he was like, “you may not ever have a period again as long as you’re on it!” and I was like, “Oh! Cool! That seems natural for the female body! Stick ‘er in there, sir!”
Because I’m not very smart.
And he was right! No period! No period for an entire year, now. But guess what happens when hormones fuck with your body’s natural SITUATION – you aren’t yourself. And for me? The casualty of IUD has been my sex drive. My poor once-hypercharged horny-for-your-love sex drive has been reduced to a raisin in the sun – dry as a bone. (NO PUN INTENDED! Ew, boners are GROSS!)
My poor husband. My poor hand. My poor YouPorn account.
I’ve been meaning to blog about this for months now because my original post was so IUD = HOORAY! And you know what? Some IUDs may be awesome. The copper one? I hear great things about. Besides a heavier period, they supposedly rock. (Although, now that I have an IUD, I realize I hate the idea of having a T-shaped contraption shoved up my vag, stuck for a decade in my uterus.) But the Mirena? Is not my BFF. Not at all.
Besides the whole hormones fucking up my sex drive – turning me into a complete prude, devoid of my former ability to come hither at a moment’s notice, my man can feel the strings during sex, which … ouch for him. (Not that we’re even having sex. Last night I threatened to call the police when Hal tried to take my pants off. I even went so far as calling him a mate-rapist.)
I was warned by many of you re: Mirena’s unholy traits and now I get it. I understand the controversy, I do. I’m a late-twenties woman (in her supposed sexual-prime!!!) lacking a sex-drive, threatening to sue her husband for sexual harassment every time he grabs her ass. I live in a tamponless household, for bloody sake! (Pun intended! Ha, ha!) I have a T-shaped penis-poker stuck up inside my body for four more cruel years.
And so? I’m pulling that fucker. As soon as I can figure out what the hell to use in its place.