DUI of IUD
I haven’t had a period in six-months. I know, I’m breastfeeding so you’re probably like, well, duh! But actually? No. I started my period six weeks post-partum because my body is insane and thinks I’m some kind of breeding ground. In the good old days, pre birth control, I would likely have ten kids by the time I was twenty-one. Rough, that would have been but I digress.
Rebecca Woolf circa a long time ago, twenty-eight-year-old mother of 18.
It isn’t a coincidence that IUD is DUI backwards. Driving drunk leads to crashing much like IUDs often do. That is, if you’re me. Specifically me last week when I had an emotional breakdown followed by a bout of OMGI’mPregnantitis. I’m usually a pretty balanced girl. I’m not prone to mood swings or PMS. I have my moments of fog but seldom freak out. That was until two weeks ago when I started to feel funny. Hormonal funny. Emotional, on edge and totally beside myself with bouts of random tears, even anger. I felt like I was crashing after a nine-month high and maybe I was. But at the time, all I could think was, “Oh my God, what if I’m pregnant?”
I had soon convinced myself that my belly was huge and pregnant looking. I examined my naked body in the bathroom mirror in disbelief.
“I look AT LEAST four-months pregnant, Oh my God.”
It didn’t stop there. My sense of smell was noticeably heightened when I evacuated my kids and dogs from our house because I smelled fire and was convinced it was coming from inside the walls. We stood outside for ten minutes with Hal on the phone, before I realized that what I was smelling was coming from a down-the-street neighbor’s charcoal barbeque.
“I think I have pregnancy nose,” I said when I called Hal back. “Oh God almighty, what if I’m pregnant! What if the IUD hath failed us and I’m six months pregnant and I’m going to sit down to pee one of these days and BOOM: A third child.”
“I think you’re crazy,” Hal said.
“Exactly. It’s hormones. Pregnancy hormones OH MY GOD! What are we going to do? Three children in a two-bedroom duplex will be MADNESS! NOOOOOOOOOO.”
“Bec, you’re not pregnant.”
Just in case, he brought home a pregnancy test.
And he was right.
And I was relieved.
But also a little freaked out that for the next five years, “Pregnancy Scares” might be my middle name because life without a period*, although, AWESOME, is kind of a little bit scary. Or maybe I should just stop watching all those “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” shows on Discovery Health.
***
*20% of those with Mirena IUD stop getting their period within the first year. I stopped getting mine immediately which seems rare according to the Internet but normal according to my OBGYN.
haha I had the paranoia after watching that show on discovery. I am on BC but had an incredibly light period and was like OOO SHIT I AM GOING TO HAVE A BABY IN A TOILET!
Wow, I’m right with you, for the last week I’ve been a hormonal wreck and finally took a test this morning while my 8 month old napped.
Not pregnant, but a little sad about it.
I stopped getting my period immediately after getting the IUD, too. No side effects, just *poof* no period. I was breastfeeding for the first 2 months, but still…no period. It’s AWESOME. But I’m sure to have a freakout like yours before too long. You just never know…
Thanks for that – you always make me laugh with your brutal honesty. Keep writing and blogging-you are doing what you were meant to do.
shoo, glad to hear someone had similar scare, albeit really weird around the same time as my freakout, something in the air perhaps? There is no scarier thoughts than the weird thoughts that stream through an “OMG I’m so preggers but afraid to pee on a stick” feeling. But then as soon as aunt flow comes back just to Eff with me, I’m left with the sadness “dern, I’m not preggers.”
I remember buying a pregnancy test when my first daughter was four months old b/c I was convinced I was pregnant. It was terrifying. And, thankfully, I was wrong. Now I have a three month old and I’m having the same fears. I’m breastfeeding and no period yet, but what if…. I’m not quite ready to go back on birth control and we’ve never been very good with the, uh, barrier method so it could happen. *cold sweat*
i was like that last year for about a month. for me it was birth control pill… made me cry, yell and panic within minutes. I stopped and feel better than ever. The thought of putting synthetic hormonal shiz in my body- frightening after the fact. i think about the mirena and it sounds like a best of the beasts but i can’t do it… 5 years and I’ll be too old to procreate, haha. i ain’t no 40 yr old pregnant mama although 5 years without a period and no baby.. sounds delightful!
not that you really want to hear this but my sister is now about 10 weeks pregnant and she got pregnant with the IUD still in!
I’m always amazed when you write about something that I’m dealing with at the exact same time! I am still breastfeeding my 8 mo. old and taking BC. For the last several days I have been really on edge and I have five of the biggest zits that have ever existed planted on my face! They only other times I’ve broken out like this have been when I was pregnant. It’s been this nagging little thought in the back of my head for the last 48 hrs. I haven’t even had the nerve to mention it to my husband. It’s definitely one of those rare times when I wished for a period…………..
This is the main reason I went with the non-mirena, non-hormonal, 10 years instead of 5 IUD. Because while no periods might be nice in theory, I will have no more of the messing with the hormones thank you very much. They are tired of being messed with, and if I continue to mess with them on a regular basis, they will band together and they will mess with me right back and probably 10 fold. AF comes for me right on time every month, and while I know this thing is pretty bulletproof, I still have an OMGwhatifI’mpregnant moment every few months. Once the answer has been yes, at least once, it will forever be a question in the back of your mind. What if it happens again?
I totally hear you. I have to take a pregnancy test every month so I don’t have an “omgimpregnant” moment. I rarely get my period due to PCOS. Oh the joys of being a women. Good thing the real joys outweigh the suck or it totally wouldn’t be worth it.
I have the Mirena and I’m breastfeeding 11 month twins and I still haven’t had a period. After reading this I had to check the link out. I’m think I’m not going to get a period ever. Awesome! But I’ll probably have a few meltdowns thinking I’m pregnant. Lol.
I know exactly where you’re coming from.
I got an IUD early last year, and not taking the pill everyday made me feel like I was playing with fire. Every time my period was even a little late, I nearly made myself sick with panic. But it always passed, and now I never worry. It gets better, I promise.
I hope you’re able to relax and enjoy it.
Between the breastfeeding and the IUD, I might guess that your hormones are just “readjusting”–especially if you’re nursing less often.
I’m in the process of weaning, and I had almost exactly the same experience last week, down to the taking of the pregnancy test because I was SURE I was pregnant. (I’m not.) But it’s crazy-making.
i have the Mirena too & it’s due 2 come out (my youngest was 5 in February)…my hubby is in the process of getting his referral 4 the snip snip – then it’ll b 3 months b4 he’s shooting blanks – so i was worried my IUD would give out b4 then…turns out, the doc says he has 2 tell me “ur IUD is no longer working”, BUT in Europe, they use the same 5yr IUD for 7 years! ;0) i stopped having my period almost immediately after having it put in & haven’t had 1 since! 5 yrs without a period has me spoiled – i’m soooo not looking forward 2 that coming back!
I totally love that pic! I had the same kind of things happen to me, but they’ve since mellowed out. I’ve had mine for a year now and periodically I will freak out and think that I must be pregnant, but so far I haven’t been. Best of luck to you and your IUD!
The picture is hillarious! It reminds me of that Friends episode where Phoebe tricks Rachel and tells her she’s not pregnant, just to see how she would feel about it, before she tells her that really she is. I have had several of those moments… thinking about the snip snip… (not for me, but the man who impregnated me twice!)
Totally me, too. All of it. Multiple times, since getting my IUD 15 months ago. And still, I wouldn’t go back.
Wow. I’ve had my mirena in place for over a year now and I still get my periods and at times they are more annoying than they were before. It’s frustrating… but I do love not having to even think about using birth control. Totally loving that part!
I have a Mirena (on year 3) and I had the same incredibly scary moments several times. I had a period the whole first year and a half and then suddenly it was gone. I worried at first, now I just sit back and enjoy it. I love love love it.
I think I will immediately be getting an IUD so that my period stops. Because after being completely regular for my whole life (including after the births of my firt two children) I am now having my period EVERY TWO FREAKING WEEKS! I had my third baby, and things have kicked into double time since then. Super annoying.
I seriously need to get to the gyno office for an IUD, but I’m still up in the air as to whether I should get the Mirena or the “old fashion” copper one. Hmmmmm, to bleed or not to bleed? That is the question
I’ve had the IUD for 4 years and go quite a long time between periods. At first, I panicked every couple of months. I bought pregnancy tests, peed on them, sighed with relief and then started all over. But you know what? A couple of months ago I was cleaning and found a test with one stick gone, and the other still in the box. It was expired. I haven’t had a flinch of pregnancy scare in over two years! The fear will pass and you’ll just trust that trusty little device. I promise.
My current husband had a “snip snip” a few years ago. But all this talk of no periods is making me think of getting a IUD just to be tampon/cramps/bitch free. Plus the extra “whew. no worries” factor would be great. Since we have 8 kids total. Oh, the horrors of it all.
Wow! I just went to OB/GYN for a consultation before having Mirena inserted. I remembered your post from january and was really wondering what your experience has been like, since after talking to doc I’ve totally begun to panic about all the possible side effects and possible problems. Sounds like I should just relax and look forward to immediate or eventual period-free days! Oh and that maybe I should pick up a box (or ten) of pregnancy tests!
I’m scheduled to get a Mirena IUD next week. I didn’t even think pregnancy scares would be a possible side effect! It’s still worth it, right?
I’m on Depo, and my son is seven months old. I actually buy pregnancy tests in bulk from Costco, because I don’t get a period anymore either. I occasionally get super light irregular bleeding. I get so freaked out by the idea of possibly being pregnant again that I pee on a stick on the first of every month just to be safe.
I’ve never ever EVER had a regular period. Ever. I can go 9 months without one without the benefits of being preggers, or 2 weeks before it starts back up again. I would KILL for a regular schedule and occasional pregnancy scare. Granted…I keep jumping at shadows lately because I’d also kill to actually BE pregnant. Go figure.
I have the Mirena (this is actually my second) and I NEVER got a period the first time I had it and then with this second one, I didn’t get a period for about a year and a half and then BAM, got one last month. CRAZY! I guess since I’ve never gotten pregnant except when I was actively trying, it doesn’t really worry me. Of course, if my boobs started hurting I’d be freakin’ the F’ out, but for now, I’m enjoying my lack of period and hoping that last month’s period was a fluke.
Glad you got the result you wanted! But I know I would be the same way – a total head case every month that went by without a period. In a way, I’m glad that my Mirena failed…I had one inserted, and two weeks later it “removed” itself – huge waste of money, but at least I wont have the worry.
If it happens again… you might want to consider the old school copper IUD. I got hormonal wacko about six months ago and it took me a while to figure out what the hell was going on, I felt like I was totally losing my mind– it was the stupid Mirena. I switched my IUD out and I shit you not I felt better in three days. I have a regular period now and I would much rather deal with that (and not have random ohmygodi’mpregnant moments), than feel as psycho as I did with the Mirena.
I went on the Depo Provera shot after college, which stopped my period immediatly. A month later I freaked out and was crying at Planned Parenthood because I thought for sure I got a “bad shot” that didn’t work at all. They almost laughed me out of there after I took a prego test. After that, I stopped worrying and started enjoying wearing light colored pants.
oh man. stopped breastfeeding at seven months. first period. seven weeks later – finally a period. in between: crying, bloated, irritable, two negative tests. It was a mess.
oh, hormones…
I didn’t have a period for the 2 years I was on Depo, nor the 2 years I was on Mirena.
Ah, all the money I saved on tampons!
I didn’t have a period for the first year on Mirena and I LOVED it. Then suddenly out of nowhere almost exactly a year after it was placed, I started having cramps and spotting then suddenly a full on period. Now I have a period every month that seems to last for 2 weeks. Cramping, bloating, irritability, and bleeding/spotting for 10-14 days. It’s driving me batty. My doc put me back on the pill for 3 months to see if it would help thin the uterine lining and get me back to no periods. No luck, as soon as I got off the pill again, Hello Flo! I’m considering having the darn thing removed even though it would cost me so much more in the long run. I just can’t take the hormonal changes and long ass periods, let alone the dings my sex life has taken. BLAH!
Ladies, if you have no period you have no PMS. Not everyone is guaranteed to skip all periods but if you are lucky like I am, you will, and no PMS. I could go my whole life and not be that bitchy again – hooray!! I love Mirena.
I’m not sure if you’re keeping track to do your own “non-scientific poll,” but I had my Mirena put in at 6-weeks postpartum and haven’t had a period since. My little girl is THREE AND A HALF years old.
Personally, I think it’s AWESOME to live like w/out a period…but that’s just me.
What’s funny is when doctors ask me the date of my last menstrual cycle, I know it by heart, because it was the date I had to give at every OB visit for 9-months. Of course, when I get to the year (2005), it always throws them off.
I read your blog frequently but this is the first time I’ve commented. I just wanted to chime in that DEAR GOD pregnancy scares are the scariest things ever! I had one not too long ago and was peeing on every stick I could find (all were negative, but sans period I was unconvinced) and bargaining with every god that existed- also, reading your blog and trying to convince myself that motherhood at 23 was obviously not life shattering- you made it! hahaha. anyways, I don’t use an IUD but just switched pills- and recently learned the virtues of watching one’s period like a hawk. So, I sort of envy the non-period.
Love your blog!
I am so glad I’m not the only one freaking out and having pregnancy scares!!! My period returned when my solely breast-fed son was 3.5 months old. WTF??!! Talk about pissed off!
Heh. I went for my 6 week post partum check/annual physical and prescription for IUD, spotted the next week for a day, got a period the following week. Then had the IUD put in this last Monday.
I am glad to know I’m not the only one who got a period early on.
Pregnancy scare at our house too. Took a test and it’s positive. Whoops! Baby is only 13 months old. Here come number three I guess…
Understand completely! I got mirena put in almost a year ago and I’ve probably taken 3 pregnancy tests since I got it put in!! My period stopped immediately but every couple months belly blows up like I’m six months pregnant. That combined with the insane mood swings, Im happy Im still married
I did Mirena for awhile, and did the OMG am I pregnant thing for the entire time. Scared the hell out of me. But, I was one of the insanely small number of women whose body doesn’t like Mirena, so I developed ovarian cysts that burst… which, in my mind, meant I had a tubal pregnancy.
Yeah, I gave up and got the tubes tied.
I have had my Mirena for a little over a year now and had a period once a month – couldn’t set your watch by it but it always happened. I am with you – not having one would be a little scary…but I think I have reached that stage because I cruised through June without one and we are nearing the end of July and still no period. However, I’m not worried about being prego because my bf is paranoid so we still use condoms. I know, I know, it’s like: what was the point?
Also, for the first 7 or 8 months I would get extreeeeeeemely sad right before my period. Like, “the world is going to end, there is nothing to be done, I am a failure, I am in despair” kind of sad. And I knew there was no reason for it so I’m pretty sure it was my IUD since that is a potential side effect. THANK GOD that time has passed because I know I couldn’t handle it if it had lasted through the 5 years of my IUD.
LOL, wow. I just blogged about my own pregnancy scare after getting my Mirena 2 weeks ago! What if I was already juuust a little pregnant when they put it in? OMG I’m gonna have a mutant baby!!! I’m not though. But thanks, now I’m gonna be paranoid for the next 5 years.
I have a Mirena, and I went through EXACTLY the same thing when I first got mine. I stopped getting my period almost immediately, and twice in the first 8 months, I was absolutely certain I was pregnant. Took pregnancy tests and they were all negative, so I have kinda learned to mellow out about it whenever I get that hormonal feeling…
Stop watching the Crazy Shows. I’ve had an IUD for years and they have been the best – periodless – years of my life. Love it, and remember the statistics on the Mirena’s efficacy – you can’t beat that shit!
Oh The Pregnancy Scare! My husband and I are trying to have another baby, but I still get “the pregnancy scare” feeling!
I feel pregnant! Oh Holy Crap! I had IB Profin and very rare tuna last night!!!!
Followed your GGC blog to this one-I’m an avid reader over there! I totally agree…I have had my IUD for roughly 5 months now and I swear I’ve JUST KNOWN I was preggo 4 times already. I even did the “I look 4 months pregnant” bit in front of the mirror, and even “felt the baby move” when I had a bad bout of gas! haha. It’s refreshing to not worry about BC, but seriously…you have to NOT WORRY ABOUT BC for that to be a bonus!
there are many women reporting HUGE health problems, discomfort, serious hormonal imbalances and crazy mood swings after inserting Mirena IUD.
Take a look here:
http://curezone.com/forums/f.asp?f=713
If I were in your shoes, I’d get an appointment and have it out ASAP.
I could have written that whole post. Well, not as well as you did, but the content? Totally. I actually just bought a pack of 2 preg. tests last week (my 1st time doing so in 3 years almost), and I’m coming up on my 2nd anniversary of Mirena insertion. Peed on a stick = negative results = PHEW!
okay, seriously? I honestly think the morena ejects crazy pills into the bloodstream! I didn’t have a pregnancy scare, but I have definitely had moments of insanity, over emotional-ness, and illogical anger, out of the blue-pregnancy-like craziness. I swear it is this device in my uterus, and besides the fact that it’s nice to not have to worry about getting knocked up, i really hate it and want to take it out! (see, it’s making me paranoid!)
Hi Rebecca – I’ve just stumbled into your writings via Momversation and I really enjoy your perspective. I have to admit that I haven’t read every comment here because I’m insanely lazy so forgive me if I am redundant. I’m a nurse practitioner for a Planned Parenthood who inserts Mirenas every day. I happen to also have one. I’m on my second – I had my first removed to have a baby. Because the progestin is present in such a small amount, localized generally in the uterine area, and not mitigated by estrogen, many women have PMS-type symptoms every month which often make them think they may be pregnant. It is my experience that the cessation of a period (usually spotting) is more frequent than the literature states.
The best way to help ensure pregnancy protection is to check the string length monthly. If the IUD strings are longer than when previously checked, this indicates that the Mirena is dislodged and compromised. most people don’t check. I’ll be the first to admit that I have blown this off on many months. I often forget because I don’t get a period, and I’m too busy running after a 9 month old to remember. In addition, my hand-to-vagina length ratio is awkward for checking. I don’t have the “EEEW!” factor going for me, so I *do* check on occasion.
It’s not the biggest deal right now, because in addition to forgetting to check my IUD, I also forget to have sex more than once in a blue moon.
Just thought I’d chime in to help people feel a little more confident on this AWESOME method.
I had a Mirena for two years – I had it removed 3 months ago. I had hormonal mood swings and acne that worsened over the two years. I went to my dermotologist and tried everything – including different antibiotics. I didn’t attribute it to the Mirena. The hormonal feelings and acne were making me depressed. I, finally, in desperation had the Mirena removed – I felt normal in a week. I have not had a cystic acne spot in two months. My skin is now clear and I don’t feel like a crazy person, but I do have to rethink my birth control options.
I’m on one of the ‘low-dose’ BCs that claim to lighten and shorten your period.
Yeah, how about just take it away completely. While its great in theory. I live in a constant state of “Oh my god I could be pregnant”. The first 6 months, since my doctor, and the internet since then they were so new to the market, failed to explain the possibility that my period would just disappear, I spent SO MUCH MONEY on pregnancy tests.
So much.
Pregnancy scares are … well they are very scary! All three of my pregnancies were surprises. Husband thought we had enough surprise in our lives and went for a snip snip.
And blessedly for him he did not complain ONE BIT. Because you know what I would have said right? (Full blown launch of being pregnant 3 times, the pregnancies, throwing up, stretch marks, the miscarriage, the D&C, carrying twins, the BIRTHS, yeah.) He didn’t complain a bit. Wise man!
I hated hated HATED the Mirena. No, let me say this again:
HAAAAAAAAAATED it!
But then, I’m the kind of person who actually likes getting her period. Morbid, I know. But in some way, it makes me feel “more like a woman and in tune with the moon” and whatever other crunchy b.s. you could come up with.
If I ever got another IUD, I’d get a non-hormonal one like the one I had before I got the evil Mirena. That worked much better for me.
Watch out… It IS possible! My second son was 6-months-old when I got pregnant with this one — due August 27th. I was breastfeeding and without period, so I didn’t find out for two whole months. I seriously thought I was LOSING MY MIND. I though I had a severe case of late-onset PPD. Nahhh….Just first trimester insanity!
OMG! After watching those ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’ shows I ALWAYS freak out thinking I’m pregnant when I’m late. I have a bad habit of not keeping track, so i drive myself insane. Than all of a sudden I am on an emotional rollercoaster. Crying for NO apparent reason, at the drop of a hat. Like a mad woman! Oh and everytime I look in the mirror, I look like I’m already 4 months along!
My boyfriend just deals with it and reasures me I’m not crazy and Aunt flo will visit soon. Which she does. whoo.
Apparently your post struck a cord because geez you sure had a lot of comments!
Just to add another comment…
My daughter just turned 1. I was late but that’s not unusual yet I was convinced I was pregnant. Had the huz buy some pregnancy tests because I was sure if it wasn’t positive that day that it would a few days later. Took the first test – negative. 4 hours later I started my period. The fastest way to start a late period – take a pregnancy test. hahaha
my husband has a vasectomy and i still freak out when i’m late…
Dude, I’m so going through this right now. I haven’t had a period for…seventeen moths (breastfeeding, yo), but I never thought I’d miss it like I do. Why am I hormonal? Why is my stomach pooching out like that? I think I just felt something kick?! Totally watching too much “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.”