This morning marked my last day of antibiotics and ding dong the mastitis is dead (which old mastitis? the wicked mastitis!) My boob made a full recovery Thursday just in time for my IUD insertion appointment at my friendly OBGYN’s office.
Needless to say, last week was quite the “indeed I have girly parts” week. Not that I ever doubt my womanness but two trips to the Gyno’s office for two different physical situations is always…uh… humbling.
What’s funny is that when I made the IUD insertion appointment for January 22nd weeks ago, it totally slipped my mind that January 22nd was my wedding anniversary (Four years, bitches. Woo!) which worked out because honestly? What better gift could I possibly give my husband for his anniversary than five years of sex without consequence?
The insertion was a lot easier than I anticipated. I took your advice (dear readers) and brought my mom to my appointment so she could drive me home in case I felt crampy and light-headed, which I did. Although the insertion was relatively pain-free (felt like an extreme pap smear. Pressure for about five seconds and then done) I felt crampy immediately afterwards. Like REALLY bad period cramps and felt faint for about an hour after insertion. My cramps subsided within a couple of hours and by evening, I felt totally normal and great. I was even able to get ready for my hot anniversary date without so much as thinking about the day’s earlier events, greeting my husband with a giant kiss on the lips.
“Happy Anniversary,” Hal said, arms full of the enormous bouquet he had acquired for such an occasion.
“Happy Anniversary,” I said back, uterus full of a tiny t-shaped contraction I had ALSO acquired for such an occasion… and many more.