Weird Pregnancy Symptons: Volume Three
(Weird Pregnancy Symptoms continued from here and here.)
Hooray! It’s time for another round of Weird Pregnancy Symptoms! As always, please feel free to add your favorite “wacky” symptoms below.
7. Bloody Pillows, Hands, Napkins and Face
I know it’s Hollywood and all, but even by LA standards my bloody nose runneth over. From the looks of my bathroom wastebasket, I’ve been out partying all night. Every time I sneeze, blow, wipe or just breathe, my nose starts bleeding like a faucet from The Shining. I remember being a little kid and thinking bloody noses were tre tre chic. I would walk around school (true story) with Kleenex in my nostrils thinking i was the shit of all shits.
“Oh this? Just a bloody nose,” I’d say, convinced I was impressing the boys.
I’ve since grown up and bloody noses in public are as they always should have been: embarrassing and awkward. Like for instance, grocery shopping with a bloody nose? Again, this is LA where the peeps love them some nose candy but still — I’m not a sight to behold. The other day I ran out of Kleenex and had to make due with paper from my moleskin. I forgot all about the bloody pages until I whipped out the notebook several days later and BEHOLD! A MASSACRE!
Oy to the Vey.
8. Crazy Sex Dreams
Maybe it has something to do with my lack of sex drive now that I’m the size of a water buffalo but the sex dreams are out of control. Like, I don’t even feel comfortable writing about them, which is totally unlike me because I’m comfortable writing about everything. I will say this — Every morning I wake up surprised there is only one man in my bed. And that he’s my husband.
9. Being Allergic to Touch (unless we’re talking foot rubs which is all I want.)
Being that I’m a crazy orgy-obsessed, swinging, lesbian with a strap-on collection in my sleep, I obviously must be allergic to touch when I’m awake. I cringe when people touch me anywhere, especially in or around the belly region. In fact, I find myself blocking people even before they step into my personal space. I’m usually a touchy-feely, huggy, kissy person, even with strangers who I tend to squeeze the bajeesus out of upon our first meeting. I LOVE me some hugs! Cab drivers, strange children at the park, grocery checkers… Skies the limit when it comes to love. But right now I don’t even want to think about being touched by anyone. Even Hal’s hugs feel uncomfortable. And when he sits next to me I feel the need to scoot over. My skin has become so sensitive to touch it almost hurts to brush up against him or anyone else. Of course, the foot rubs? That’s another story. I crave foot rubs like I once did pickles*.
Ah…. foot rubs.
***
*what can I say? I’m a total pregnancy cliche.
Oh I remember the nose bleed I seriously was bleeding out of my nose for 7 out of the 9 months of pregnancy. I feel you pain.
You look great though!
Oh my, I forgot about the nosebleeds. I hated that! I had the touch thing too, and the lack of sex drive. I only wish I’d had the crazy sex dreams, though.
I’m so jealous of what a gorgeous pregnant chica you are!
ach, the nosebleeds. mine never actually gushed, but i would get this stupid drip, drip, drip. blech. and i totally got the touch-phobia. Is Archer an all-over-Mama kind of kid? Plus with the heat, man. I remember being pregnant in August, not my idea of fun.
Ah yes, the nosebleeds. Pure craziness. I had never in my life had a nosebleed until I got pregnant, and then I think my body decided to make up for it. True story – every single maternity item I owned had one or more bloodstains on it by the time my son was born. It was like a bad horror flick.
My weirdest pregnancy symptom was that I would become physically ill if I smelled the steam from my iron. Before and after pregnancy, I couldn’t even really smell anything when the iron was on. But when I knocked up that weird burning water steam smell would make me vomit every single time (even after the morning sickness went away).
You look tres gorgeous, chica (yeah, that’s three languages…so what?).
)
I didn’t have nose bleeds. Didn’t even know that was a pregnancy thing, but I did have the aversion to touch. And my husband is a major hugger. He didn’t get it and just kept getting his feelings hurt when I growled at him not to touch me.
so glad to know i am not the only one with the blush-inducing crazy sex dreams! i at at 19 weeks and all my dreams are incredibly vivid these days–i dream i’m taking a bath and can feel the temperature of the water, i dream i’m cutting a lemon and can smell it, i have crazy sex dreams and…ahem…yeah. weird.
Uhhhmm hellooo! You look absolutely radiant in that picture! And after the post about ‘abnormal weight gain’ on GGC no less. Abnormal weight gain my ass. If I looked half as good as you when I was pregnant, I would be translating those sex dreams into real life!
Weird pregnancy symptom I encountered- my belly being numb. I weighed about 115lbs on a 5’7” frame when I got pregnant. I gained 55 lbs. All that expansion somehow left my tummy feeling numb to the touch. Thus giving me the heebie jeebies whenever the fiance touched me. Good god!
I also had sex dreams something fierce.
I had very vivid sex dreams. Seriously, I woke up sometimes thinking I WAS having sex and feeling half-embarrassed about what noises I might or might not have made in my sleep.
And you look great.
I remember the very vivid dreams, sexual and otherwise (baby daddy was cheating on me -in my (very huge) face-, etc…) And also the nosebleeds, which in my case were accompanied by another related symptom when I was tending to my dental hygiene. I used to call it “vampire flossing”.
I totally relate to #7 man I had some seriously bad nose bleeds, which freaked me out since I never had a nose bleed prior to being pregnant. The craziest incident was coming home from shopping with a girlfriend and unlocking the front door and feeling something coming out of my nose so fast it dripped onto my shirt. I wiped it up with my hand thinking I had a runny nose to find blood all over my shirt and hand, gross!
oh yes, i had nosebleeds for the first time in my life just as i was going through the morning sickness portion of my pregnancy. at times blood was simultaneously coming out of my mouth and nose. i remember one bad morning in particular when the bathroom looked like a slaughterhouse. i think my husband’s still scarred.
Yup got the bloody noses too but luckily so far only in the morning, kind of like when I had morning sickness but instead of vomit there is blood coming from my schnoz.
Yup got the crazy sex dreams too and damn are they steamy. I will just include one detail, pee, I know it is gross but hey a preg fetish is a preg fetish, right??? And this is normal during pregnancy, right, or should I be worried??? Actually the sex drive is kind of in over drive right now and it would be for the first time in pregnancy and I’m 34 weeks. I keep looking at my husband (and yes all the shirtless, running men (and clothed women) on the street) like do me already dammit!
I don’t have the touch thing, actually I want everyone to touch me and this really weird for me, not a hugger or a toucher. I want to feel all hands on me and I want hugs from people I don’t know but no one is reciprocating.
I think my weirdest pregnancy symptom is carpel tunnel syndrome. My fingers, hands and arms ache like I’m 90 years old. I have to wear braces at work and when I sleep. Now don’t you think I feel attractive in NYC with my wrist braces and 30 pound belly, yikes, maybe that is why the strangers won’t hug me
You look great btw.
I haven’t had any nose bleeds yet. Although, I am just beginning this crazy rollercoaster called pregnancy (just finished the first trimester) but the dreams are seriously insane. Not only are the sex dreams extremely vivid but they feel so real waking me up feeling as though I’ve actually had the orgasm. Not a bad side effect actually…
i became a total lebian-porn-aholic when i was pregnant… for some reason i didn’t like seeing men with women, only women with women. which is totally, um, unlike me… well, hello!? i did get pregnant.
no news on nose bleeds however…you look great by the way!!! forget the weight gain you are hilarious and look great! oh, and i read your book and just loved it. i found myself reading passages to whoever would listen. and i am ordering the book for a few friends. thanks for being the voice…
When I was pregnant I was so sensitive to smells that I sometimes could not go into a bathroom where other ladies had been b/c their smell made me gag.
I had CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY sex dreams my last trimester. I stopped having sex around 5 months b/c I felt like I was drowning every time we tried. I don’t remember many dreams but I do remember the one about being kidnapped by a drag queen dressed as a clown. ????!?
You ladies are hilarious and THANK YOU BZ! Appreciate your support and thanks for picking up the book! xoxoxoxo
That is one hell of a good list! I had it the other way around when knocked up…couldn’t get enough sex, but my dreams in the last trimester were horrid, ghoolish nightmares…every night, someone I loved, died a tragic death in front of me, just beyond my reach! And then I’d wake up and want sex. Ah, pregnancy, the weirdness that it is!
Yeah, I’m 31 weeks and the dreams are absurd (and somehow almost always involve ex boyfriends from eons ago, aka high school). Of course, I couldn’t be any less interested in sex and still realize I have a husband at this point (poor fellow).
crazy crazy sex dreams my last trimester also… that I well could never bring myself to tell my neglected husband about. I very much enjoyed your list and it seems there are quite a few of us who… well don’t want to go into detail about them either!
armpits that never smelled during my pregnancy – even after a sweaty yoga class!
body hair stopped growing.
OMG that made me crack up. I used to have the craziest sex dreams too. Seeing how I was single and not getting any they really helped alot
I totally remember the ” the dont touch me’s but what came with the was “don’t breath on me” my poor fiance and I would be snuggling and just feeling his breath on my face made me nuts. So i feel ya sister being pregnant brings out the wackeyness.
Hi Bec–
About the nose bleeding thing…. it usually means you are not absorbing enough vitamin C or Vitamin K. Just a nutritional heads up…
lovelovelove your blog/s