Hal and I decided several months ago to pull Archer out of school for a month before the baby is born (due early October). I really wanted to spend some time together, just Archer and me, before our family expansion. Expecting a second baby is a very different experience than expecting a first. With the second pregnancy, you expect a sibling as well as a new baby, and as much as I’m prepared with layette and bottles and the various accessories and baby needs, I must also prepare for my son’s new role as brother.
I’ve been doing what I can to prepare Archer for what will be a change in our dynamic. It won’t just be about him anymore and I’m very sensitive to that. I can still remember the feeling I had when my parents brought my little brother home from the hospital. I was a little younger than Archer when he was born and I can STILL remember the feeling seeing him for the first time. Suddenly, I wasn’t the baby anymore. I was crestfallen.
I’m preparing for Archer to have similar feelings, although when asked about the baby he smiles and hugs my belly, calling his sister by name, kissing her/me softly. Even still, I know that there will be days when Archer will be jealous, bitter and angry. Because that’s what happens when a new roommate moves in and a family of three becomes four.
Yesterday was our first day of ArcherMommyMonth and it was lovely. We met some friends for a playdate and Archer got a haircut (he asked for it, himself) and then we came home and had ice cream. Not so much an adventure as it was a mother-son date but it felt right and good and now I’m looking forward to the next few weeks: our last hoorah as partners in crime.
Archer sails on: Disneyland
I don’t know if Archer will remember this month but I know I will — I need this as much as he does — time with my son, alone. Adventuring all over town. Museum hopping, beach-combing, park-playing and lots of softserve.
I posted the following video last December, two or so weeks before the new baby was conceived– a collection of photos of Archer from 2007: an only child.
I’ve watched it several times in the last week — and when I do, I cry like an insane person. Because as I’ve read before from fellow bloggers in my community, expecting a second child is not without its moments of mourning. Mourning the baby who will soon become the big brother. Mourning our time together alone, just the two of us: mother and son.