(Ed: I’m hoping there won’t be a volume two for obvious reasons.)
1. Itchy Toes: My toes itch like crazy mofos these last few weeks. I’m convinced it’s because of the heat and the swelling in my ankles by the end of another 90-degree day but that’s only because I have no idea about anything. Plain and simple, it sucks. I can’t even get my legs around one revolution on the stationary bike without trying to itch my toes over my New Balances. Flip-flops are pretty much a must after 4pm and by 10pm, I’m whining for Hal to itch my toes, which has to be one of his least favorite hobbies ever. (Unless he has a foot fetish I don’t know about it.)
2. Sex Allergy: I hear stories all the time about pregnancy being such a turn on to some women. How their sex lives “heat up” the second the minute they start incubating babies. I am not one of these people. I am normally a very horny, sex-starved young twenty-something but knock me up? Knock the kink out of my veins. My favorite sex positions are off limits. Everything is uncomfortable in there and I feel the opposite of “sexy”. Perhaps if I was one of those “let’s make love, lover,” people, things would be different. Pregnancy is beautiful and for some, sex is too. Not for me. The words “make love” give me the hardcore heebies and slow, sensual, by candlelight sex has never been my thing. Sex (IMO) should be dirty and crazy and exciting and uh… lying on my side and sort of half-wiggling isn’t really doing it for me these days. Thankfully, my husband’s a great sport and hasn’t given me one ounce of shit for being the “reluctant sex-partner” that I’ve been these last few months. (Maybe that’s why he’s okay itching my toes for an hour. That’s about as much as he’s getting these days. (Unless you count the various hookers I’ve ordered for him while I’m out of commission.)
3. Good Books (and) Foreign Films Allergy: I believe the same thing happened with my last pregnancy. I replaced my current bedside read, Don Delillo’s Mao II, and started reading Entertainment Weekly, US Weekly and pretty much every other Weekly in existence.
Archer sinks to my level.
I also stopped watching anything with subtitles because “it was just too much work! My eyes!” I know I’m not the only one with this particular weird pregnancy symptom. Some of the most intelligent women I know couldn’t even form complete sentences while pregnant. And at the OBGYN’s office? I have yet to see one pregnant woman pick up a Harpers when there are so many back-issues of Cosmo hanging around. Surely there must be something about baby-making that makes us all intellectually lazy.
Anyone else dealing with the same pregnancy symptoms? Do you have any of your own to share?