On the Eve of Knowing
*UPDATED BELOW*
I’m closing in on nineteen-weeks pregnant which means, tomorrow, during my ultrasound I will most likely find out the sex of my baby. I am not one for surprises. I have no patience in this life and can’t help but obsess over ALL of life’s little question-marks so, ho-HO! The sex I will know.
“Do you have a preference,” people often ask, which is one of those questions that makes me very uncomfortable, mainly because I don’t know what I’m having yet. And I kind of just want to have whatever I’m having, you know? I prefer whatever is.
“I’d like a boy or a girl,” I usually say. And I would, both for very different reasons.
When I was pregnant with Archer I absolutely had a preference. I wanted a son. I couldn’t imagine myself mothering anything but boys, probably because socially I always felt more comfortable with boys and in a way, the thought of having a daughter scared me. In my experience, girls are, uh… more difficult than boys. I feel like I would have a hard time controlling a daughter mainly because I’m stll having a hard time trying to control my self.
This pregnancy all my dreams have been daughter dreams, which doesn’t exactly gel with my doctor’s prediction that I’m pregnant with another boy. My 12-week ultrasound my doctor said he thought he might have seen a penis. He even said he was “80% sure you are having a boy” but for whatever reason, in every one of my dreams: girl. So now I’m just feeling very confused. I have no clue what this baby is. My subconscious, obviously thinks girl. My practical-self believes the doc and is going with boy. Tomorrow, of course, I’ll know for sure.
The last several weeks I’ve spent with friends who have daughters. I’ve helped their little girls get dressed. Played with their hair. Read them stories. And kind of in a way, hoped that maybe one day I could have that, too. That mother-daughter, girl on girl, slumber-party-in-barrettes thing. I honestly, for once saw myself mothering a daughter and being, well, not so bad at it.
Reading books with BMC’s Foo in Portland
This is not to say I’d be absolutely tickled by having all boys. (We’re planning on stopping after two. Er, at least I am. Hal wants, like, a thousand kids. Uh, yeah right, dude.) I get giddy at the thought of brothers rolling around in the dirt, playing kick-the-can, racing each other on skateboards. Not to mention them not hating me in highschool (or at least not HATING hating me.)
But for once, I’m not afraid of the alternative. Which means that maybe in a way, I’m growing up-ish.
***
Guess the baby’s sex, below! I will pick one winner at random and send you a signed copy of my new book, Rockabye: From Wild to Child. All I need from you is to place your guess in the comments and link me to where you can be reached by email. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s update and chosen winner! Good luck!
***
UPDATE: In classic true-to-life form, I do not have an answer. The doctor did say he was almost 100% percent postive I was having a girl, but I cannot trust an “almost” (especially after the 80% sure it’s a boy prediction last ultrasound and uh…. well…) so I will wait until the next (more high-tech) ultrasound where I have actual photos of genitals and proof positive. Even so, I was shocked to hear “girl”… Shocked. And maybe I’m still a little shocked and that’s why I want to absolutely certain before I start shopping for vintage sailor dresses and gingham bonnets and such. HOWEVER! To be fair, I will be choosing one “It’s a boy” voter AND one “It’s a girl voter,” sending both picked-at-random winners a book and a GGC mix CD. I will be emailing both winners later this afternoon. Thank you all so much for playing and stay-tuned, for some photographic
evidence and hopefully, an accurate call on le sex of le baby!
Congratulations to Lisa L. and Heather V. for winning GGC Mx-CD’s and a signed copy of Rockabye. Rad of you all to participate! Stay tuned for more fun contest-like drawing-things!
I really want to be right for some reason. Since my doctor said 80% positive I’m having a girl at 19 weeks (we will check again in two weeks), and I hope like hell that percentage means something, I’m going to say boy.
Girl. And she will race Archer on her skateboard.
And because I really, really want the book, I’m commenting again so that you can reach me if I win.
I’m going to say — Girl. Not only will she race Archer on her skateboard but she will win. She will also be the one to introduce her brother to at least 2 of girls that will break his heart.
I will say boy. No need to add me to the list for the book, I already bought it
A mother’s intuition is rarely wrong. I say girl!
Congratulations either way.
girl baby.
I am going with the doctor’s 80% and guessing boy.
Heya,
I’m a first time commenter, I think. Both here and at GGC. Soooo, I guess I’m de-lurking. I was about to buy your book but winning it sounds better.
(I still proposed it for my book club though!)
Anyway, I guess boy. Because hopefully your doctor is competent. Unlike the last one.
I’m guessing girl – momma’s intuition wins it for me.
Not sure why but I’m thinking boy.
I get a girl vibe, and I’ve been right on most of my guesses with my friends, good luck!
My vote goes to a girl… it’s only fair to keep it even! Have fun tomorrow!
I want to vote Girl!
Goooo dream lady!
I’ll guess girl so that if you really do want to stop at two, you won’t beat yourself up wondering if you should try again and see what it’s like to have a daughter. See how I’m looking out for ya!
Girl is my guess… I have a friend whose doctor told her 100% positive: boy. She had a girl and they had to use two coats of pink paint to cover all the blue.
totally another boy
Boy– and there IS something special about brothers!
I’m a new(ish!) reader. I think girl! Just because I’m a sucker for going against statistics.
I say BOY!
http://www.GIRL.com
My guess is boy.
(But for some reason, I keep picturing you with a girl. Go figure.)
Girl, all the way!
Girl! Trust yourself. I didn’t find out the sex of my son until he was born, but I knew it was a boy all along. I was so convinced, I think I would have had serious attachment issues if it had been a girl!
I’m thinking girl.
I vote girl, but only because I WANT you to have a girl. I desperately thought that I wanted a boy and have a little girl. She’s the light of my life. I love watching her put on a little dress and twirl around in circles until she falls down; and I was such a tomboy that I thought I’d hate that stuff….
I just gotta say, as the wife of a transgender man (meaning he was born female and transitioned to male as an adult), you don’t actually get to find out whether you’re having a boy or a girl tomorrow.
I don’t mean to burst your bubble! You will get to find out the sex – whatever it is they got goin between their legs. But you won’t know what your baby’s gender is until they’re old enough to know and tell you themselves. You know?
And having read you and your blogs for long enough, I think you’re a with-it and cool enough mama to be able to handle that. So I hope I haven’t offended. I’m just super-sensitive to these kinds of things, being in love with and married to someone who had to profoundly disappoint his mama when he was about 30 or so to tell her the little girl she always thought she had was actually always her little boy.
I’m guessing boy. The thought of the wonderful new blog entries with him & Archer’s adventures (wrestling, washing the whole bathroom with your shampoo, asking each other to see whether they have cavities and spitting in each others mouths, the joys of being a mom of two boys are enjoyed fully by yours truly) are too tempting.
Ok, it’s cliche but if I don’t write this here my Turkish grandma will never forgive me: As long as he/she is healthy…
I say Boy. I am due to have my second boy in just over a week and, while it took me a little while to “mourn” tyhe little girl I may never have, I am now excited at the prospect of letting them run in the dirt and scrape their knees and wrestle each other. The bond between brothers can be a wonderful thing.
Of course, I am still mourning ribbons and all things pink.
Girl. Good luck tomorrow.
Delurking here to say congrats on the the baby and the book! And I am going for boy, simply because I had dreams about my precious little girl the first 4 months of my pregnancy, only to find out at the ultrasound that I was having a precious little boy! Best of luck to you, either way!
girl. preggo dreams are very telling. best wishes!
foxsquirrelrabbit@yahoo.com
You will be the more of two sons and refer to them as “the boys”. Congrats!
I say two for two, boy.
I have a girl, she’s going to college in the fall. They grow up so fast. I love remembering, as you write about your son. Thanks for the great writing; I’m going to buy the book even if I don’t win.
I think it’s a boy; I’d love to see pictures of Archer playing with his little brother. But, take it from a mom with 2 girls and 1 boy—either is awesome.
Boy! Tis the season. I already have the book and I loooooveeed it. Would adore a signed copy so I can pass my already broken in version on to a friend.
I wanted a girl and got a boy, and I’m so happy. But I want the next one to be a girl this time. And I want you to have a GIRL, too.
I say your dreams are right and it is a girl.
Boy!
I’d go with your gut on this one — girl. For what it’s worth, our first child’s ultrasound had the doctor saying “95% certain it’s a girl.” And I, like you, desperately wanted a boy, couldn’t fathom mothering a girl, not first time out of the gate. 5 months later, enter Ike (no, not a quirky name for a girl. Just a solid boy.) Second pregnancy, different state, different u/s tech said “85% positive it’s a boy.” But I’d learned my lesson. So when I was cleaning out closets during my nesting phase and moved my wedding gown out of the way and my inner voice said “Make sure you put that away for her…” I knew better. 5 months later, enter Bennett (yes, girl. Yes, quirky name. But definitely girl.) Therefore — I vote girl with you. Best of luck regardless. The mid-term ultrasound is so much fun!
I’ll go with “it’s a boy”…
My baby gender guessing radar says (insert series of pinging noises)….A GIRL. The radar has been acting up lately though, so it’s only about 50% accurate. =)
I will go with “girl”.
Why? To put it in my daughter’s words: “You already have a boy. Now you need a girl.” (Of course, she said the opposite about my wife. We find out this coming Wednesday.)
I think it’s a girl. I found out three weeks ago that mine is a girl — I’m 21 weeks. Have fun tomorrow either way!
I think you are having a girl!
girl
Girly girly girl.
Such giddyness.
Have fun!!! I wish I could go with you!!! And that it woudln’t be weird that I were there with you! ha ha! I just always loved going to my ultrasounds.
I want to go with the doctor, but I can’t ignore your dreams or the idea that your girl would have SUCH awesome clothes, so I vote girl.
I’m thinking girl for you just because everyone thinks I’m the one having a girl (but we all won’t find out until the birth). =P I enjoy finding out the sex of other people’s babies…it keeps me distracted from wanting to find out my baby’s sex. Hehe.
I’m a lurker, but since there’s now way I can afford your book at the moment and I desperately want to read it I’m going to comment
I’m guessing girl..Both times with my kids I just *knew* so mother’s intuition wins it out for me 
I say a girl. I’m usually right 90% of the time. Whatever it is you will love it body and soul.
I say girl. You’ll be thrilled with whatever. My son would say, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” LOL
I want you to have a girl becuase she would have the coolest mom and the coolest clothes. She will beat Archer sketboarding and playing kick the can.
When I was pregnant with twin girls I thought FOR SURE I was having two boys. Surprise! When I was pregnant again (with one) I thought FOR SURE it was a girl. Surprise again, it was a boy.
I think you fall in love with whatever you have.
I think it’s a girrrrrrl.
I think “it’s a boy”.
I say girl.
i thought the same thing and i had a girl. i’m terrified every day that she already hates me. ahhh- highschool will come waaay to soon
anyway—boy!
I think every good mommy should have a daughter. So, I hope it’s a girl.
Ah! So excited! Girl seems to be getting the most votes, which for whatever reason makes me think, boy, but that’s because life has been such a mindfu** lately… Every time I think I know… I soooo don’t.
Regardless, mama’s going to need a HUGE hat to fetch me a winner for this here contest. You guys are awesome! Thanks for participating! I’ll have to rock the prize-poll, again!
I dreamed I had a chicken with pregnancies 1 and 2 (they were girls) and a stuffed kitty cat with # 3 (a boy). Does that help? Or really, like, um, hurt?
Hmmm, I’m guessing girl.
I say it’s a girl!
I’ll say girl. B/c when I was pregnant with our latest (and last), I thought she was a girl. I really wanted a girl but was afraid to trust my instincts for fear of being disappointed. We didn’t find out until the delivery room and those instincts were right! So I hope I’m right for you too. B/c I’d really love a new book!
I am going w/ the doc’s 80% “guesstimate” and saying BOY!
Congrats either way.
I say girl, just cause you would then have a matched set, so to speak.
oooh fun. My BFF is finding out the gender in her bun tomorrow too. I knew,knew,knew that my little one was a boy so I wanna trust your instinct and say girl but if the doc thinks he saw a kickstand… I’m torn. What the hell, I’m going girl. Hope the leetle one shows you all their glory!
Girl Girl Girl!!
Yeah, I think BOY. I just do. Good luck!
Mmm. Boy. Yepperee.
I think it’s a girl. I knew with both if mine so I am going to go with your gut and your dreams.
Kherring1@gmail.com
Grrrrl. I’m gunning for that mix CD!
I immediately thought GIRL when I heard/ read the news… so that’s my vote. Either way. stoked. actually, a boy would be awesome for a bud for Archer… love you!
I’m guessing girl. I never had girl dreams until I was pregnant with my daughter. I’d always dreamed boys, even before meeting & marrying my husband. I dreamed boys when I was pregnant with my son, but with my 2nd pregnancy I had very vivid dreams about having a daughter. And a daughter I had!
p.s. When I had my ultrasound with her, the tech said that mother’s intuition is usually right.
Can’t wait to hear the good news!
BOY!
i think girl.. totally girl. I want the GGC mix cd!
Girl.
It’s a boy.
I vote girl.
I just have a feeling…
I vote girl. When I was pregnant during my waking hours I was never really sure. But my dreams were of little girls. And dreams typically reveal certain truths. And I had a girl.
I vote girl, your subconcious is almost always right. I thought I was having a girl with both and I was, even though to begin with I wanted a boy for your exact reasons. After I had my first girl I wanted another so that they could be sisters who are best friends when they grow up, and hopefully they will be.
I realized I forgot to leave an email on my earlier comment kaiasmom2003@yahoo.com…
I’m going to say boy. I can totally see you with two boys. I remember when I was expecting my daughter, I kept asking the doctor to “check again, because we’ve already bought pink bedding” lol, I just wanted to get my shopping on for the right kind of kiddo
Boy. Another Pirate of the snails….
Boy. Because of the whole one of each balance thing and because i’m dying to read your book.
I think it will be a boy…a lovely companion for little Archer!
My bet is BOY!
sarahviz@yahoo.com
Boy – I’m getting a penis vibe. Of course, I have three sons (+ one daughter), so maybe I’m clouded by the penis vibe in my own space.
jacante@cox.net
girl! dreams have to count for something. either way, though, i know you’ll be thrilled.
Boy! I have 2, and I love the brothers rolling in the dirt thing, so I’m guessing boy.
I think Doctor knows best, even if it is a guess.
Maybe I should have confirmed I say Boy
I think it will be a boy…I have two boys and they are so rough and tumble- endless energy.
I say girl!
I say boy…I was convinced I was having a boy too but out emerged a beautiful little girl!! Good Luck to you.
I had such strong boy vibes when I was pregnant and I ended up having a girl. I’m going to guess you’re having a boy. Luckily it will be awesome either way!
I am hoping that you have a boy – name him for your lost friend Mason – and then he achieves and exceeds all of the ambitions and goals that his namesake didn’t.
hey! Congrats on the baby and the new book! I’m thinking its going to be a little boy. No offence to susan about but give the kid his own name and his own identity. Just tell him about your friend… Like all the names you’ve picked out. Nice and quirky
Boy.
Welcome home!!!! I’m voting for a healthy baby!!! Cuz I have absolutely no idea what you are having, but I’ll say boy. With Quinn, I thought he was a girl for what seemed like the longest time.
What’s Archer think??? Or is he still oblivious????
Totally having a boy. Congratulations, by the way!!
I’m going with girl. I did not know what I was having and everyone predicted boy. I knew deep down (based on 1 single dream) that I was having a girl and I did.
I definitely think you’re having another Archer-esque type baby. Which means boy by the way.
Either way, though, congratulations!!!
girl!
my mom has three kids, 1 boy, 2 girls (in that order)
each time she was told that she would be having the opposite of what it would be.
She was so confident that the doctor was wrong all three times that she only decorated the rooms for the opposite of what the doctor told her, picked out names for the opposite sex, etc.
Triplets! (I’m the one who commented about having the triplet dream. I’m guessing the doc would’ve picked up on that by now.)
I’m going with BOY (solely because if I’m right the odds are better for winning the book and DUDE I would LOVE a GGC mix-CD.)
I think dreams are telling, so I am going with girl.
GIRL!
I am 22 wks, could have sworn I was having another boy, and like you, was JUST FINE with avoiding teenage mother-daughter tension. Had enough of my tension, thank you. But I am indeed having a girl and I’ve resolved that I’m not my mother and my daughter isn’t me. Now, I’m very excited. I might even embrace pink. We’ll see…
Good luck tomorrow. As a new reader, I’d love to win the book.
Boy!
I am gonna say a boy…
just got that vibe, we NEED to switch up the ratio’s a little bit, so a BOY!!!
I’d like to wish you a lil girl, but I just got that boy feeling, and just for the record, you won’t be 100% sure until “he” comes out to greet the world.
Love the blog, and am living vicariously through you, by the way, i’m a lurker…
My tech was wrong with her initial guess (80% sure it was a girl, but turns out it is indeed a boy). Regardless of that, I am guessing another boy for you.
Best of luck!
Lilflip326@aol.com
I’m saying boy.
I think it’s going to be a girl…or a boy! HAHAHAHA!
I went for my ultrasound on Friday and found out it was a girl just like my intuition told me it was. Go with your gut – it’s usually right!
Girl vote from me!
My intuition was totally totally wrong with my son – I thought girl all the way – so for you I am betting on a brother for Archer.
I going to go with boy. I was going to say girl, but my feeling is boy. I’m generally right with friends and family, but I don’t know that it translates to blog reading.
Hopefully the baby cooperates and you’re able to see.
Girl… for sure.
WOW — put out that free book offer and look at us all jumping up and down waving our hands!! OK, so I’ll go with girl. And I’d love to get a mix CD — maybe you could list what you put on it for the rest of us. Not that i’ve ever burned a CD in my life, but hey I can learn!
Good luck and best of health to mom and babe.
Girl Girl GIRL.
I will go ahead and guess boy, but vote for girl (I’m one of three sisters)
I’m gonna say boy. Only because 2 boys does sound like an awful lot of fun.
I’m thinking girl. I just like girls better. I already bought (and read) the book, so choosing me as your random winner would be totally thrifty! Loved the book and I am so excited for you!
OKAY– STOPPING CONTEST, HERE. WILL BE UPDATING POST MOMENTARILY. THANKS SO MUCH FOR PARTICIPATING!
My experience with most techs and docs when it comes to sex determining, count on the opposite of what they say unless they can point out easily-recognizable parts.
So hey I’m voting girl.
moonravencrow@gmail.com
Oh and if anyone wants the track list to my winner-CD, you can email me at rebeccawoolf@gmail.com and I’ll get it over to you. All songs, I imagine are downloadable on Itunes.
So stoked to be one of your winners! Although when I got the email, I assumed you’d been told it would be a boy– oops, now I know it could very well be a girl! Well, if so, they are so much fun. Drama queens, but fun
And Archer will still be one awesome big bro
I absolutely had to know the first time around but the second time around I *might* actually go for the surprise. I don’t know, though. Suspense is too much for me! I can’t handle surprises!
Congrats on finding out you’re having a…baby.
You know, today I imagined you updating with an inconclusive answer. Congrats on having a girl or boy
I have my 21 week ultrasound next week, although we’re not finding out. I almost want the technician to mess up and announce the sex, so I can know, but not give an official OK. Is that weird?
Sorry I missed the contest, but I’ll put my 2 cents in anyway. GIRL That’s the gut feeling I got reading your post.
When I was pregnant I wanted a little girl so bad. It took me awhile to get used to the idea of a boy. But I’m so happy I had a boy now and I don’t miss the pink clothes and little bitty sweaters like I thought I would. It’s just as much fun dressing him up! Now I think if I had another I’d want another boy, though the balance of testosterone to estrogen is already tipped against me.
I read on CNN recently that a study showed women who ate a high calorie diet just before getting pregnant were more likely to have a boy. And women on a restricted calorie diet were more likely to have girls. Also, women who ate breakfast had boys more often. So perhaps that will prove true in your case. In either scenario, I bet he/she will be just as adorable and delightful as Archer!
So who won?
See above! I posted their names at the end of my Update. Thanks!
Oh rats I didn’t win! No I will have to buy a copy! Hehe.
i have a son a few months older than archer and am pregnant with my second.
i felt EXACTLY the same, i always thought i wanted all boys and then i warmed to the idea of a girl. first ultrasound they thought a girl but was not 100% until the second and she is a girl.
now i walk through the clothing stores staring at the pink just wondering how i will make it happen.
Good luck on the proof positive u/s. I have two boys and couldn’t be happier. I love my guys. Tucker tells EVERYONE when Carsen gets older he’s going to wrestle with him. Insert cheesy, ear to ear grin and little face all a-glow.
I know its late and all of that jazz but I have to say, boy boy boy
I am going through the exact same thing! As we stand now we have an 90% girl- which is very exciting since my husbands family doesn’t make girls this will be the first in, like, 50 years! Waiting for the 4D Ultrasound in 6 weeks…
If you’re having girl dreams, then chances are very good that you’re right. My OB said that studies have shown that mother’s dreams about babies’ gender are frequently right. And everyone I know who has had such dreams (including me) has turned out to be right. I had lots of girl dreams for both pregnancies, and I have two girlies!