Every day the same thing happens. I drop Archer off at school. He kisses me, waves and scurries off to the playground. I watch him from the window as he lands in the sand, looks around at the other children and suddenly becomes shy. Quiet. A very different boy than the one I see at home.
"Hi Archer," the other children say.
"Hi," Archer says back, kicking the dirt, looking down sheepishly.
I watch him until my five-minutes of parking in a drop-off zone are up and occasionally I cry because Archer's got that whole loner in the trenchcoat thing going and it's heartbreaking to watch my child sit alone, when the other children seem so happy to be together. I remember how it felt, as a young child, to be shy. Overwhelmed by crowds of children, I wandered aimlessly as well.
In the car, I always remind myself that Archer's happy. He's glad to be at school and on the playground even if he's playing alone. He's smiling. Always smiling. No need for me to worry about my happy little child.
"Does Archer have any friends yet," I ask.
The teacher always answers me in the same way. "All the children love Archer. He's like everyone's little brother... We all adore him. He's a gentle little soul..."
"But does he have a friend? Is there anyone in the class that he sits with or..."
The teacher smiles. "Not really," she says. "But he's happy. He loves to hold the flag and read books and he participates in all the activities."
It was true, of course. Archer is a sublimely happy child so it would only make sense he would be the same kind of happy at school. He loves school! Every morning Archer rushes the door when it's time to go, always thrilled to see his teachers and kiss me goodbye.
Last week, when I went to pick up Archer, I asked the teacher how he was doing.
"He's doing great," she said. "Oh! And guess what? He has a friend."
"He does? A real one?"
I wanted to cry. His very first friend he made on his own! Someone to play with at school! Who was he? I had to know all...
"This other boy, he is just like Archer. He's quiet and shy and usually plays alone. But one day! All of a sudden? These two boys were not alone! They were together! Sitting together and playing together and it was like they found each other! Two boys just the same!"
I listened, gathering Archer's lunchbox and stack of art-projects, crying behind my giant sunglasses. The thought of Archer making his own like-minded friend was too much for me to handle. The thought of two little boys, wandering the outskirts of the playground only to decide, one day, to wander together was just... yeah. Yeah.
Tonight, before bed, I asked Archer about his new friend. About school and whether or not he was excited to go tomorrow. Archer repeated the name of his new friend and smiled. And so did I.
I probably would have cried again, too, had I been wearing my humungous sunglasses.
***
