I was the same way.  It's hard to contain the joy.  I'm glad you won't.

good for you!. I have had two losses, but still tell as soon as I know. It is exciting and if the worst happen, you do want the support - trust me on that one.

No one rocks devil-may-careism like you!

Okay, I really don't understand the whole "don't tell" mindset.  WHY IN THE WORLD would you want to set yourself up for feeling alone if something did happen to the baby?  I would want my friends and loved ones to know what was going on every step of the way so that they could celebrate with me-- or comfort and care for me should I need it.  

Anywho-  YIPPIE!!!! I'm SO excited for you!

My husband and I were going to wait until my 8 week appt. to tell our parents. I wanted to wait a few more weeks after that to tell everybody else. Then Crazy Hormonal & Queasy Chick came along, and I figured I had to get it out there before everyone guessed for themselves. So we announced it to the entire clan at a huge family party and it was awesome. I still haven't told my friends yet. My first appt is in 3 days!!

I'm so glad to hear others hating on the "don't tell" thing.  I've always rejected the idea that certain things are "proper."  This "proper" thing, in particular, just perpetuates the idea that people (especially women) aren't supposed to talk about things that are unpleasant and might make others uncomfortable.  Hello?  As if you wouldn't want/need the support of your best friends and family (and, in your case, your loyal readers)if something horrible happened.  So, good for you (and congrats)!  Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to take a break from reading for a while because I'm incredibly jealous!  My (surprise) son is about Archer's age and we've been trying for another (with all the charting, etc.) for almost a year!  Okay, so I'll keep reading... but I won't like it!

I think the don't tell for 3 months thing is just a weird American thing.  I've lived in 6 other countries across all continents and not only does no one else do that, my non-American friends thought I was totally weird for wanting to wait the first time around.  The second time around, there was no waiting.

I'll probably tell the online world instantly, but my parents I'll wait for. I don't want to have to have two personal conversations with them, really :p And as others have said, I figure I'll want people to know why I'm sad/crying/whatever if the worst happens.

Holy hell you have sweet legs! And tiiiinnnny jeans. Nice!

I was the same way. My theory on it was that if something did happen it also wasn't something I was going to be able to keep in and I would want support.

My MIL was really weird with the telling too soon thing. My husband actually kinda got upset that she wasn't more excited.

After my first loss my hubby and I waited to tell friends but we certainly told our families.  We needed the support and prayers.  With our third pregnancy I waited to tell friends (except my best friend)again but family knew right away.

Best of luck.  I look forward to reading about your experience.

I'm eight weeks pregnant with my first. We didn't wait to tell the immediate family but planned to hold out for the entire first trimester for everyone else. After a couple of weeks it got really depressing to keep it a secret. I felt like we didn't have permission to be excited, even though we're both thrilled. Finally, we figured that our hopes are already up. We'd be crushed if we lost the baby, whether or not others knew. So, we started telling a few friends. And now that the first doctor's appointment showed that things look well, we're going to tell everyone else.

Oh, yay, Jennifer! So happy to hear that! And yes, you're all right. If something. God forbid, were to happen, I'd look to you guys for support and I would certainly feel compelled to write about that experience like any other.

I'm totally down with telling early. We told our family right away, and our friends as we felt like it over the next few months.

The one place I did wait to announce my pregnancy was at work, because the thought of having everyone at work knowing I'd had a miscarriage if it happened was a bit much.

Secrets schmeecrets. We told friends and family straight away all three times I have been pregnant. The second pregnancy miscarried, and it wasn't that bad having to tell people... friends and family were of course lovely and supportive, and I was happy to have immediate understanding of why I was sad. Also, seveal people then told me about their miscarriages, which I hadn't known about, which also helped to put things in perspective.

We also told people the names of our kids as soon as we had decided... I understand that some people want to wait to see the baby before naming him or her, but we decided within days of knowing the sex and I didn't see the point of keeping the name a secret. It also helped our oldest I think, to have a name for his little brother before he was born.

I guess it's just a personal choice whether to tell people as soon as you know or not... for a variety of reasons.  With my three kids the telling was all different!  

#1 was a surprise so we told ASAP so that my parents had time to recover from the shock!

#2 was also a surprise but we became more creative!!! With my dad we let 'big brother' wear a t-shirt that said "I'll be a BIG brother Aug '03" and with my mom my brother at the time was dating a girl by the same name as me... so lets just say she went through a little bit of shock that time too LOL

#3 was totally planned because he had to be (because of RH sensitization) and we let everyone know by sending out X-mas cards with "From all of us and Baby" and see who caught on first... Also we had to wait a bit with telling on #3 because my sister found out she was preggo with her first and I didn't want to 'steal her fire'

can't imagine you not telling. you are "supposed" to wait because...well, you know, just in case it doesn't stick. but i can't imagine if, God (or Allah, or Buddah...) forbid that happened you would be able to keep that to yourself. sure i bet there are certain things you don't reveal to us but something THAT major would probably extremely difficult to keep in. you would probably share that story like any other story and comfort the world with it. i am not trying to sound ominous because i am NOT AT ALL, i'm just saying i can't imagine you hiding anything so big- one way or the other. i should probably delete this. I didn't wait because i too was excited and felt like if i didn't tell i'd be reminded every time that i didn't tell why i wasn't telling (does that make sense?) and that is just not good either!!

although....it would have been fun if you did keep it in but were so ready to bust that you dropped hints in your posts! "so i was waddling to the library with archer..."

I keep trying to write a response and it keeps coming out really angry and that's not how I want to sound.  

But I do want to say, for those that don't understand the "don't tell" mindset, or for those who enjoy hating on people who feel that this mindset is prudent (not "proper"...), I would just say that you should consider walking a mile in someone else's shoes.  Read an infertile woman's blog, one who has loads of experience dealing with recurrent miscarriage, and you may possibly lose some of that "hate" for women who wait to tell.  And maybe also consider that not everyone wants the troops rallied around them when they deal with the highly personal details of pregnancy loss.  Not everyone thrives off of that kind of attention.  Some women may even find it embarrasing or shameful that their body failed so drastically.  

It's a highly personal situation, and I kinda feel like criticism in either direction is kinda mean.  If I don't wanna share, please don't hate on me.  If Rebecca wants to share, from those quotes above, I see people sharing *concern*, but I don't see anyone "hating" on her for doing what she wants to do.  With miscarriage percentages, it's not unreasonable to consider if one is really ready to share yet, 'cos once you share, you can't take it back.  Are you sure that you want to explain to your dry-cleaner that you aren't pregnant anymore?  I mean, is this someone you want in your grief circle?  Are you sure you want your mother running in to your third grade teacher in the store and telling her?  Friends are one thing, but strangers are something totally separate, and often, once you share something like this, you can't control who does or doesn't know.  

I do think it's worth thinking about, but if, in the end your excitement wins out over any concerns, then share on!  But for the love of pete, please don't be ugly towards those women who choose not to share.  I promise that it doesn't make them any less excited about their pregnancy than someone who chooses to share immediately, nor does it make them more proper, or more pessimistic, or more right or more wrong.  It just makes them different.

K- I totally understand why people don't tell. TOTALLY. I'm sorry if this post offended you? I don't have any hate for anyone! Especially women who wait to tell they're pregnant and I don't think any of the commenters do either... I think it's a very personal choice that should be respected either and all ways.  

K -- Though I agree w. Rebecca that I don't think there's any "hating" going on here, I am really glad you brought up the infertility issue.

As someone who struggled to get pregnant -- and who knows lots of women who've struggled far more, for far longer -- I completely understand the desire to wait until you're "out of the woods" of the first trimester. There's so much disappointment and vulnerability and pain that goes along with infertility.

I remember a couple of weeks after I found out I was pregnant -- having already told our parents and some close friends -- when I had a few days of horrible cramps and was convinced I was miscarrying, I felt so embarrassed and angry at myself for having told anyone; like I'd jinxed the whole thing by being arrogant and foolish enough to think that *I* could actually get and stay pregnant.

Anyway, as I said in my other comment, I think it's great if women want to announce their pregnancy to the world ASAP. But there are definitely very good reasons not to do so either.

oh jeez, k's post is directly after mine so of course i think it's MEEEE who offended (although that is probably just my self centered way of thinking!) so let me just say that i understand, i don't disagree and was just trying to say that while others may not tell in the beginning, Becca shares most experiences and would probably share her experience no matter which way it went. For other people who don't share everything with everyone it makes much sense to wait because of that just in case factor. much easier not to have to let the whole world in on your grieving. hope i didn't come off as "ugly" i love everyone!!!

I say you do what is right for you.  I went through the whole infertility thing and told anyone who would listen what was going on.  I figured there would be that many more people on our side praying for us.  

I had a neighbor tell me how it was almost cruel for me to find out I was pregnant so early on (2 weeks after insem). I didn't feel that way, I just was so darned happy.  

You do what you gotta do and don't worry about it.  

I had a miscarriage several months ago, at 9 weeks.  We had told tons of people, and when we lost the baby I was really glad we had told.  I could just say "we lost the baby" and people immediately went into support-mode without having to get over the initial Oh!-I-didn't-even-know-you-were-pregnant! thing.  Plus, I hate that people almost treat pregnancy like some dirty secret or something, not talking about it for months and months...  It's ALL totally natural, being pregnant, losing a pregnancy, having a hard pregnancy, etc....  Why NOT talk about it??

I didn't mean to imply that everyone here was being ugly- but here's a direct quote from one of the commenters:

"I'm so glad to hear others hating on the "don't tell" thing."  Wow!  Friendly!

That's what I was responding to.  I just wanted to share a little perspective.  

And Rebecca-

I was totally not offended by anything that you wrote in your post.  I think your reactions are totally normal.  You are excited and you feel like it's time to share.  Cool!  I just felt the need to point out to those couple of commenters who were just aghast that anyone would ever not want to blurt out their news to everyone the instant that a second line appeared, that there are very real reasons for people to choose not to immediately share, and that (quoting) "hating" on people for being conservative in their decision to wait to tell is really kinda mean.  

I agree with K & with Heide - Pregnancy loss can be private & it is also a totally natural thing.

Speaking as a Midwifery Student, if I were to become pregnant now, knowing what I know, i'd wait until my 20 week anomaly scan was all good before I shared my news with anyone. But that's just me.

I see women coming to book with a midwife at 5 WEEKS - & it's too early... it's just far too soon... women wanting scans at 6 & 7 weeks.... wanting & EXPECTING internal examinations in pregnancy - WTF people??? Why - they're not necessary & not in the scope of 'normality'. Pregnancy is normal, dozens of scans & internals are NOT.