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Straight From the Bottle

Halloweeve: A Poem

His Mother's Keyper

 

Twas the night before Halloween and all through the house

Not a person wasn't helping me throw last-minute costumes together, not even my spouse.

Fabrics were pressed with iron-on-letters with care.

In hopes it would look good and no one would stare (in a bad way) 

 

My child was screaming from the bars of his bed

Wanting to hang out with his parents instead

Although momma was flattered, "Son, now, don't get me wrong...

"...But this costume is going to take me all the night long!"

When out the front door, there arose such a flutter.

A teenager in a mask! (I internally muttered) 

Away from the peephole I arose with a knife!

(I was cutting a jack-o-lantern with my Dad and his wife. )

The full moon that I saw through the peephole was scary!

"Smell my feet," said the teen and "my ass is real hairy!" 

Then what to my wandering eyes should appear?

But a dozen more teens with trick-or-treat gear!

 

And all of them clad head to toe, all in black

Carrying with them, stained pillow case sacks!

"It's too early I said! You must come back tomorrow"

But the teens, they all frowned, their brows furrowed in sorrow...

So I opened the door. With my pumpkin carving knife.

With my half-awake toddler, my dad and his wife

And we looked at each other and we had to agree

It isn't a sin to want some candy!

"Just one!" I demanded, shaking my head. 

"And if you smash all our pumpkins you're totally dead...

...I'll kill you, myself!" I seriously said.

 

The kids all said thank you, adjusting their masks. 

And as the door closed, my father's wife asked: 

 "Why did you give them our candy, anyway?

They're too old and it's not even Halloween day!"

I thought for a moment and then looked at my son.

And then back at the costume I had just now begun.

And I opened my eyes and stretched my hands to the sky

And I said something, shocking, even to I...

 

"One day my son will be older and change

And it will be a little bit hard and a little bit strange

And costumes will become what little kids wear

And it will be suddenly cool to flash strangers ass-hair.

And being too old for candy and costumes and fright

And unable to participate on Halloween night.

Is a terrible feeling. A feeling not right.... 

And I remember the feeling," I continued to say. 

"For there is nothing quite like a dark Milky Way.

And the sound that it makes when it falls in the sack.

I would do anything to get those glory days back..." 

 

As I muttered the words, a thought came to me 

My son just turned two and was going on three

An age that was expected to ring doorbells and run!

It was almost as if a new childhood had come!

 

A wink of my eye and a twist of my head

And it was time to get Archer back into his bed

Then finish cutting jack-o-lantern's triangle eyes

And the iron-on letters for tomorrow's disguise.  

 

And I heard my son babble as he passed out in his seat. 

"I can't wait for tomorrow... my first trick-or-treat."

(And I nodded and said, "yes, me, too, little sweet.")


Comments

 

Rebecca said:

I love this! Haha, I love how you had to mention your mom as your dad's wife for the sake of the rhyme. It made me laugh.

October 30, 2007 11:34 PM
 

nancyt said:

Awesome! Very Seussical.  It's true--you totally get to re-live trick-or-treating with little ones. Friendlier neighbors will often offer you candy too (especially if it's a slow night). Last year, one of our neighbors was giving out Mardi-Gras-esque necklaces, and I have to say I was a little skeeved when he offered me one too, but no boobs had to be shown for me to get one. Whew!

I really hope the ass hair was poetic license. A teenager who's a day early and vulgar to boot? They'd get some pumpkin guts from me! But I do understand your sympathies...

October 31, 2007 7:13 AM
 

knockedup said:

Love that you used "ass-hair"  That's one that doesn't get used often enough in poems.

October 31, 2007 9:35 AM
 

Don Mills Diva said:

Cute poem - you are way more philosphical about hairy-ass-flashing-teenagers than I would be, though I would probably give them something if only to avoid the house getting egged.

October 31, 2007 9:47 AM
 

Karen Sugarpants said:

That was adorable Rebecca!!  You're so creative!  Happy Halloween, Sweetie!

November 1, 2007 1:15 AM
 

Julie Pruitt said:

Hello,

I am trying to find your email address.  I wanted to see if you wanted to collaborate.  

Thanks!

Julie

mine is: trendytadpole@gmail.com

November 4, 2007 7:36 PM
 

Halloweeve: A Poem | arenasx said:

Pingback from  Halloweeve: A Poem | arenasx

November 22, 2007 2:58 PM

About GirlsGoneChild

Sometimes I rhyme: http://www.girlsgonechild.blogspot.com.

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About the Blogger

rebecca woolf

Rebecca Woolf in LA

Who says becoming a mom means succumbing to laser tattoo removal and moving to the suburbs? This young writer and mother of one gives it to you Straight From the Bottle.

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