I've become newly obsessed with finger puppets (they're just so cute and eensy-weensy and well-crafted!) so it was only fair and obvious for me to purchase Archer a thousand of them for his birthday. Which he hates. Especially because I won't let him take them out of the box.
I mean, is he even old enough to appreciate these babies?
I would like to say with a great big "JK!" that I'm kidding, but I'm not. I'm dead serious. (Seriously, you should see my face right now.) And even though I wrapped the puppet boxes up for Archer and presented them to him with a big ol "happy birthday, baby!" I was really, secretly, giving them to myself. I just didn't know it at the time.
It's just that, well, they're "geniuses" and I don't want to disrupt them. And seriously, if I dared to *gasp* remove them, it would be like throwing them out a car window. Or wait-- better yet-- it would be like putting them in a blender with poop and spaghetti sauce.
And I can't let that happen, can I? Not to Leo Effing Tolstoy!!
I can't let Virginia Woolf drown in the toilet bowl with my mascara!
It would be a tragedy for Van Gogh to lose an ear! Chewed off and thrown to the dogs!
And if Mozart died young from complications of pointer-finger-in-his-ass fever, I would NEVER forgive myself!
So what to do?
I knew a few kids growing up whose Barbies weren't to be touched. They stayed in their boxes, collectors items, their faces pressed sadly to the plastic BEGGING to be played with. I always hated these kid's parents growing up.
"But dolls are supposed to be played with!" I said.
"Yeah. But my mom says these dolls are different."
Aha! Yes! I understand now! I get the whole "different thing" now that I am older and more impressed with newness!
I just had no idea how toy-oriented I was until I had a child, whose toys I steal and keep for myself. And I feel like maybe I've gone totally crazy because of this. Because I might just be turning into "that" mom. The crazy one with toys in boxes all over her house and "don't touch that Madame Alexander doll, sweetie! It's a collector's item!"
Oh, Gawd. SAY it isn't so?
I'm not the only one....
Or am I?
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