I’m the least confrontational person ever. Probably to a fault, actually, which is why, to the neighbor, Archer’s name has for the past year and a half been, “Cooper.”
Cooper is my oldest dog’s name and somehow in the shuffle of thousands of dog walks/strolls, my neighbor got confused.
Cooper has and will always be a dog’s name to me because long before there was a baby, there was a dog: Cooper. Cooper the dog. Same goes for Dexter, my childhood pet. Dexter is not the name of a Seriel Killer on Showtime. Dexter is the name of a Cocker Spaniel. And Cooper is the name of a 96 pound boxer with horrendous gas.
“Hey, Cooper! Aren’t you getting big? Aw, Cooper! You’re such a big boy! Such a big Cooper-wooper-wooo.”
Cooper (my dog) wags his tail, of course, thinking he is FINALLY getting the attention he deserves, while Archer sits in his stroller all totally omg wtf.
“Heh. Yeah, he IS getting big. Sure.”
I look forward to the day when Archer decides the time has come to use his words. I look forward to him giving it to the neighbor straight and telling her once and (hopefully) for all that his name is Archer. NOT Cooper. I look forward to my son doing the dirty work for me because I am obviously unable to do it myself. It’s a terrible side-effect of a certain (possibly genetic) disorder called “Conflict Avoidance Disorder” and correcting a neighbor is, in my world, frightening.
So what, in my passive-aggressive way can I possibly do in this situation?
I have no idea. I guess I could make a sign. I could decorate Archer’s t-shirt in “Hi My Name is Archer NOT COOPER” puffy paint? (Do they even make puffy paint anymore? I LOOOOVED puffy paint!)
My only other option would be for me to adjust my hypothetical balls and tell the woman that for the past two-years she’s been calling Archer by the wrong name and to please stop because it’s making me crazy.
I’m kinda thinking, though, it’s far too late for that.
Archer? You’re just going to have to live a lie until we move and/or you decide you want to start talking. Sorry about that.