I realize that motherhood and six-inch spike heels don't exactly mix, but I also don’t think that motherhood should mean retiring one's (usually impractical) shoe collection (Yes, I'm on a shoe kick right now.)
So when I fall in love with a pair of heels, even if I have nowhere to "wear" them, I buy them. Even if it means sacrificing comfort for something sexy. Okay, okay. I'm a mom. I know. I should be practical and rock sweatpants and baggy jeans. Or at least that's the assumption, right? I should be wearing flats and sneakers every day of my life. Because seriously, who wears heels out to a play date? Or to the playground? Or to Mommy and Me class?
I do.
Yup.
I know. Call me c-c-c-craaaaaazy. Because sometimes I like to get dolled up with nowhere to go. Seriously guys, I'm a work at home mother. Where am I going? Errands? Play dates? The occasional stroll around the city? Pulease. Bachelorette parties aside, there is no dress code for me these days. And that sucks. So I have made up my own. And sometimes, that means wearing the highest heels I can pull off. Or the tightest jeans. Or the shortest skirt. Yup. Sometimes I whore it up on the blvd. And I'M A MOTHER!
Ack!
According to parenting magazines, moms are clueless when it comes to fashion. (And so are stylists.) But should we be? Does looking good on the outside become less important when we have kids? And if so, why?
In elementary school I remember one of the boys in my class had a mom who dressed, um, not like a mom. She wore leather knee high boots and her DDD breasts were on display at all times. She was a former Playboy centerfold, which we all were well aware of. And when she came to our class to volunteer her services we all felt terribly uncomfortable. As a little girl I was frightened by her bazungas. And I assume, for the little boys, Mrs. Hugetitkneehighs was quite an introduction to the female form and Playboy Magazine (which the boys had all stolen from their fathers to sneak a peek at Ms. Hugetitekneehighs in action.)
But I digress...
The moral of the story is that I think kids want "moms" to look like "moms." I know I did.
But looking back, now, I see things differently. And I can't help but wonder if maybe Ms. Hugetitkneehighs was just being herself? Maybe she was more comfortable looking like a porn star than a suburban mom. And why should anyone fault her for that? Sure, we all talked shit about her for as long as we saw her around. At the gym. And at high school functions. (I went with her son to a school dance.)
The last time I was in San Diego visiting my family, I saw her at the local supermarket. Still rocking her patent leather mini skirts and blood red lipstick. Old enough to be a grandmother... Working it as always.
And good for her. For being herself. For being a refreshing piece of ass change of pace. A true individual. Someone who confidently did her own thing. More power to her.
Should we all strive to look like strippers? Maybe not. But at the end of the day, comfort has many definitions.
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about feeling more comfortable in my skin, so can't I show some? Does the fact that I push a stroller mean I have to retire my push-up bra?
It's lonely being a mother. Staying home alone with your child all day. And as someone who has worked from home most of her life and spent hours inside by herself, my all-dressed-up-with-nowhere-to-go days are my favorite: rocking heels and skirts. Showing some skin...
Because, yes, wearing high heels to the playground and looking good on a walk around the block makes me feel good about myself. Even if that defines me as the "nanny" or the "hipster" or the "twenty-five year old with a kid."
I'm learning not to care. To be myself. To wear what's comfortable. Just like Ms. Hugetitkneehighs.
OF COURSE flats are more comfortable. And OF COURSE sneakers are more
practical. But you know what? I don't have to be practical all the
time. My feet don't need to be comfortable. I'll trip if I must,
running after my kid. Because honestly, sometimes I feel more
comfortable in a high heel and tight jeans than whatever it is I'm
supposed to be comfortable wearing.
You love your khakis? Wear them with pride.
You prefer your leather jumpsuit? Do it!
You want to wear high heels to your playgroup... By all means!
You prefer going barefoot? Awesome.
Because confidence is the real message we should be sending our children. No matter what we choose to wear out of the house.
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